BlessedMamaw
10-26-2006, 01:24 PM
Do any of you have problems with being overwhelmed with everyday life? If so, how do you handle it? I need help so desperately.
For example, when it comes time to pay bills I know I should do it but just cannot get it together to do it. The money is there, but I just can't do it. I have really gotten myself in some real fixes these past few years. I have had utilities shut off, had a credit card account sent to a collection agency this month and managed to have car insurance cancelled over a 20.00 late fee.
How do you get past this? Any insight you send my way would be really appreciated. Am I just crazy for being this way or is this a common problem with MS? I feel like such a screw up and looser! Is there any help for me!
For example, when it comes time to pay bills I know I should do it but just cannot get it together to do it. The money is there, but I just can't do it. I have really gotten myself in some real fixes these past few years. I have had utilities shut off, had a credit card account sent to a collection agency this month and managed to have car insurance cancelled over a 20.00 late fee.
How do you get past this? Any insight you send my way would be really appreciated. Am I just crazy for being this way or is this a common problem with MS? I feel like such a screw up and looser! Is there any help for me!
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mnewhall
10-26-2006, 02:56 PM
hi blessedmamaw,
you are not a loser by any means. you also are not alone in this. i too have become easily overwhelmed. i'm undx'd at this time (scheduled for brain MRI with and without for 7 Nov). confusion, inability to concentrate, inability to multi-task which i'm usually good at, inability to focus and being overwhelmed have really hit me hard here lately with short-term memory lapses as well. part of the many symptoms that prompted me to see a neuro. this has me a little uneasy.
my advice is to make sure that you don't have too much on your plate to do. make sure you don't take on more tasks than you can handle. don't be afraid to say "no" (this has always been hard for me, but i'm learning to). realize your limitations. use a calendar with big squares so you can write down when things are due or have to be done.
i always put my bills in order to "due date" with the most recent due on top. highlight the "due dates", etc.
if you get on the computer every day, use the computer to give you "pop-up" reminders. most computer software comes with this ability in some fashion.
i've been doing this at work ALOT.
wishing you well and i hope you find this helpful.
god bless (oh yeah, lots of prayer helps tremendously!)
michelle
you are not a loser by any means. you also are not alone in this. i too have become easily overwhelmed. i'm undx'd at this time (scheduled for brain MRI with and without for 7 Nov). confusion, inability to concentrate, inability to multi-task which i'm usually good at, inability to focus and being overwhelmed have really hit me hard here lately with short-term memory lapses as well. part of the many symptoms that prompted me to see a neuro. this has me a little uneasy.
my advice is to make sure that you don't have too much on your plate to do. make sure you don't take on more tasks than you can handle. don't be afraid to say "no" (this has always been hard for me, but i'm learning to). realize your limitations. use a calendar with big squares so you can write down when things are due or have to be done.
i always put my bills in order to "due date" with the most recent due on top. highlight the "due dates", etc.
if you get on the computer every day, use the computer to give you "pop-up" reminders. most computer software comes with this ability in some fashion.
i've been doing this at work ALOT.
wishing you well and i hope you find this helpful.
god bless (oh yeah, lots of prayer helps tremendously!)
michelle
StephanieAnne
10-26-2006, 06:43 PM
MS can be over whelming I learned to take one day at a time, and figure out what you have to do,
what you want to do,
what you like to do
the have to do is your bills so just concentrate on that, I pay just about all of our bills on line thru our bank. I was having a relapse that made writing difficult and that is when I started on line bill pay. Make a folder for all your bills put envelopes and stamps on one side [one of those folders with pockets] and your bills on the other, keeps everything together, mark a calander when things have to be paid and work from that.
then the want to do can you really do what you want to do? does it need to be done? you don't have to be the perfect person and with MS you cannot do all that you want to do, so learn to say no, that is a hard one that does come easier.
Now the like to do, you have to fit that in too, just a little bit each day
all of this is done with baby steps, once you get one thing under control say the bills, then you will feel less overwhelmed and able to handle things a little bit better
You are not a loser, and you cannot do everything that you used to do
chill out, give yourself a break things will get easier I promise ;)
what you want to do,
what you like to do
the have to do is your bills so just concentrate on that, I pay just about all of our bills on line thru our bank. I was having a relapse that made writing difficult and that is when I started on line bill pay. Make a folder for all your bills put envelopes and stamps on one side [one of those folders with pockets] and your bills on the other, keeps everything together, mark a calander when things have to be paid and work from that.
then the want to do can you really do what you want to do? does it need to be done? you don't have to be the perfect person and with MS you cannot do all that you want to do, so learn to say no, that is a hard one that does come easier.
Now the like to do, you have to fit that in too, just a little bit each day
all of this is done with baby steps, once you get one thing under control say the bills, then you will feel less overwhelmed and able to handle things a little bit better
You are not a loser, and you cannot do everything that you used to do
chill out, give yourself a break things will get easier I promise ;)
trinity0987
10-26-2006, 06:45 PM
Im not diagnosed but I feel the same way....I have always been scatter brained but my short term memory is pathetic...if I have something in the oven and leave the room I always forget about it--one day I made cookies 3 times and burnt all 3 batches....i feel like I have alzheimers at times....I am thankful I dont have to work,cause I doubt I could keep up....
duttin
10-26-2006, 09:45 PM
Blessed mamaw,
I couldn't have wrote that post any better,you just took a page out of my book of life.
I am trying to remind myself every Friday morning this is a must.Luckily I have not had late fees or cancellations,a few times I've cut it close.Like you said the monies are available,its just doing it.
I have found with MS ,I've had to learn limitations and truelly focus on what absolutly has to be done.I try to stick to a daily routine if possible.
It takes time to get passed it.Don't look down on yourself.Your gonna have times like these.Try to focus on whats important the rest will fall into place.
I have a gigantic black board in my kitchen,its basically my life organizer,appointments and things that must be done.It has helped a great deal and I can't miss it.
Don't beat yourself up
Toni
I couldn't have wrote that post any better,you just took a page out of my book of life.
I am trying to remind myself every Friday morning this is a must.Luckily I have not had late fees or cancellations,a few times I've cut it close.Like you said the monies are available,its just doing it.
I have found with MS ,I've had to learn limitations and truelly focus on what absolutly has to be done.I try to stick to a daily routine if possible.
It takes time to get passed it.Don't look down on yourself.Your gonna have times like these.Try to focus on whats important the rest will fall into place.
I have a gigantic black board in my kitchen,its basically my life organizer,appointments and things that must be done.It has helped a great deal and I can't miss it.
Don't beat yourself up
Toni
BlessedMamaw
10-27-2006, 01:28 AM
Thank you all for your posts. It did help me to feel a little better about myself and to realize that it is not just me with this problem.
I will try to do as suggested and keep track of due bills on the calendar and sit down every Friday evening or Saturday morning to pay bills. I have got to get better or else!
As far as keeping the same routine, that is almost impossible. I don't even work the same days of the week each week. I home school my granddaughter on the days I don't work plus I also care for my mother 2-3 days a week. I have a lot on my plate and often find that I am just spread too thin. My job is a high stress job, I work in a nursing home and I am literally wiped out when I come home at night. I honestly don't know how other people with MS can hold down a full time job.
You are right, it is hard to say no when you have always done for and taken care of others. Sometimes it is hard to realize that I can't be the super woman I used to be who held down 2 jobs, took care of my family, and helped others in need. It is so difficult to admit it to myself and I just can't seem to admit it to others yet. When everyone is used to coming to you with all their problems and needs it is hard for them to realize you can't handle it like you used to and even harder to realize it yourself.
Thanks so much for your helpful comments, I will try to be kinder to myself and to slow down too.
I will try to do as suggested and keep track of due bills on the calendar and sit down every Friday evening or Saturday morning to pay bills. I have got to get better or else!
As far as keeping the same routine, that is almost impossible. I don't even work the same days of the week each week. I home school my granddaughter on the days I don't work plus I also care for my mother 2-3 days a week. I have a lot on my plate and often find that I am just spread too thin. My job is a high stress job, I work in a nursing home and I am literally wiped out when I come home at night. I honestly don't know how other people with MS can hold down a full time job.
You are right, it is hard to say no when you have always done for and taken care of others. Sometimes it is hard to realize that I can't be the super woman I used to be who held down 2 jobs, took care of my family, and helped others in need. It is so difficult to admit it to myself and I just can't seem to admit it to others yet. When everyone is used to coming to you with all their problems and needs it is hard for them to realize you can't handle it like you used to and even harder to realize it yourself.
Thanks so much for your helpful comments, I will try to be kinder to myself and to slow down too.
kiwi girl
10-27-2006, 02:39 AM
Hi Blessed
When i read your post it thought are you sure your not talking about me.
Last nite I was awake all night. I just could not sleep. I sat looking at the health board, willing myself to ask for help, as why I feel the way I do.
I have been running a home 24 yrs without a problem until about 2 years ago. I forget to pay my bills or I find them so over whelming I pretend they are not there, as I am struggling with money.:confused:
I live with guilt everyday that i am unable to work at this time in my life, Be proud of yourself look at what you do.
I used to be so busy bringing up my kids, studying, working and helping my friends and family out.
Now where is everyone? I am totally alone, I have no support from anyone. My Family tell me to get my act together, even when they can see that I can't walk or that I've just finished choking. All my wonderful friends have disappeared in a puff of smoke. And the reason for that is because I am no use to them anymore, in other words I can;t do things for them.
It was not like I was moaning at them about what was happening, which tends to drive people away, as they don;'t want to know.
It make you feel like, what am I here for, people don;t even like me enough to be there for me when I need help. It took me along time realise that I am a nice person. So I just dont get it:confused:
To make things worse my daughter has had a serious illness for the past 16 months, so most of my time is taken up with caring for her, also without any help. I am blessed though, she is such a great kid, she never gives up, even when she is in so much pain:angel:
So I guess what I am saying to all who are feeling that they are not doing enough or copeing. Pat yourself on the back and be proud of yourself. I know that is what I have to do, to be able to keep going.
When i read your post it thought are you sure your not talking about me.
Last nite I was awake all night. I just could not sleep. I sat looking at the health board, willing myself to ask for help, as why I feel the way I do.
I have been running a home 24 yrs without a problem until about 2 years ago. I forget to pay my bills or I find them so over whelming I pretend they are not there, as I am struggling with money.:confused:
I live with guilt everyday that i am unable to work at this time in my life, Be proud of yourself look at what you do.
I used to be so busy bringing up my kids, studying, working and helping my friends and family out.
Now where is everyone? I am totally alone, I have no support from anyone. My Family tell me to get my act together, even when they can see that I can't walk or that I've just finished choking. All my wonderful friends have disappeared in a puff of smoke. And the reason for that is because I am no use to them anymore, in other words I can;t do things for them.
It was not like I was moaning at them about what was happening, which tends to drive people away, as they don;'t want to know.
It make you feel like, what am I here for, people don;t even like me enough to be there for me when I need help. It took me along time realise that I am a nice person. So I just dont get it:confused:
To make things worse my daughter has had a serious illness for the past 16 months, so most of my time is taken up with caring for her, also without any help. I am blessed though, she is such a great kid, she never gives up, even when she is in so much pain:angel:
So I guess what I am saying to all who are feeling that they are not doing enough or copeing. Pat yourself on the back and be proud of yourself. I know that is what I have to do, to be able to keep going.
lymegirl
10-28-2006, 07:00 PM
I feel overwhelmed too at times. I have a lyme dx as well as a MS one. I am fighting the lyme with abx and post mostly on that board, hence the screen name.
Kiwi girl I feel the same way. Like I am alone in all this. Some support with household chores and the kids but as far as emotional support- none. I go to all my Dr appts alone, do all my own research, and have to motivate myself and cheer myself on to keep at this, even though I am so sick and can hardly walk. I am lucky if I am asked how the Dr appt went. I know if the situation was reversed with my husband I would be right there every step of the way. Makes me think that in the future I will not be, even though that goes againist my nature. This has been an eye opener for sure. I try not to dwell on it, but I think that when I am better, can go back to work and have more control over my life I will be making some decisions.
kiwi girl and kiwi chick where do you live in NZ? My friend since 6th grade lives in Aukland. I have never been there but hear it is beautiful.
Hope you have a good weekend
Kiwi girl I feel the same way. Like I am alone in all this. Some support with household chores and the kids but as far as emotional support- none. I go to all my Dr appts alone, do all my own research, and have to motivate myself and cheer myself on to keep at this, even though I am so sick and can hardly walk. I am lucky if I am asked how the Dr appt went. I know if the situation was reversed with my husband I would be right there every step of the way. Makes me think that in the future I will not be, even though that goes againist my nature. This has been an eye opener for sure. I try not to dwell on it, but I think that when I am better, can go back to work and have more control over my life I will be making some decisions.
kiwi girl and kiwi chick where do you live in NZ? My friend since 6th grade lives in Aukland. I have never been there but hear it is beautiful.
Hope you have a good weekend
kiwi girl
10-28-2006, 08:23 PM
Hello Lymegirl
Thank you so much for your acknowledgment of me. It is so hard to tell strangers how you are feeling, and then if it does not seem to be noticed, well it can hurt. I did not say these things for sympathy, just wanted to be noticed as a human being.
Anyway yes New Zealand is a beautiful country, I live in Christchurch which is in the south island. Auckland is in the north island. It is our largest city. I have alot of family in Auckland, as my Mum came from there. how did you get to know this lady from Auckland. Do you live in the USA. It can be a small world sometimes. Yes it is hard when you have to go to Doc's etc alone. There is just my child and I, my son is now out living in the big wide world. Hope that your day is going well for you.:)
Thank you so much for your acknowledgment of me. It is so hard to tell strangers how you are feeling, and then if it does not seem to be noticed, well it can hurt. I did not say these things for sympathy, just wanted to be noticed as a human being.
Anyway yes New Zealand is a beautiful country, I live in Christchurch which is in the south island. Auckland is in the north island. It is our largest city. I have alot of family in Auckland, as my Mum came from there. how did you get to know this lady from Auckland. Do you live in the USA. It can be a small world sometimes. Yes it is hard when you have to go to Doc's etc alone. There is just my child and I, my son is now out living in the big wide world. Hope that your day is going well for you.:)
lymegirl
10-28-2006, 09:11 PM
Hi kiwi girl
I am in the US and I have known my friend that lives in Auckland since we were in 6th grade. We are 45 now so that was a long time ago. I would like to visit someday. She moved just before I had my first child 11 years ago. So far going there has not been possible. She comes back to the states every few years and her Dad visits her in NZ every year.
I am so thankful for this board and others like it. It lets us talk to people who know what we are going through.
I am in the US and I have known my friend that lives in Auckland since we were in 6th grade. We are 45 now so that was a long time ago. I would like to visit someday. She moved just before I had my first child 11 years ago. So far going there has not been possible. She comes back to the states every few years and her Dad visits her in NZ every year.
I am so thankful for this board and others like it. It lets us talk to people who know what we are going through.
BlessedMamaw
10-29-2006, 12:40 AM
I just wanted to let you all know that I took my first steps in getting organized with my bills. I have made it a positive rule that I will open each piece of mail as it arrives, junk mail will be trashed or shredded immediately. I finally installed Quicken on my computer, have had the program for months, and got my routine bills set up so that I get a reminder 1 week before it is due. Any bills that arrive will be set up that way for a 1 week reminder. It may be overkill but I am also writing them on a calendar to remind myself even further.
Lyme, try not to take your husband's apparent indifference so personally. I sometimes feel the same way with my husband, but it all comes down to the fact that most men don't know how to show concern and support. They think if they help out with the kids and help out around the house that they are showing you support. I go to all my doctor's appointments alone too and have just learned to tell my husband what the doctor says and how things are going. I have discovered that even though my husband doesn't say a whole lot about it he does care and he does worry. If he knows that I have had a fall he calls to check on me and if he comes home and dinner isn't ready and I am sleeping. He cooks dinner and lets me sleep til I am ready to wake up on my own. Its all the little things that lets me know he cares and supports me. I hope that maybe if you try to think along those lines and really pay attention that you will notice he is trying in the only way he knows how. Sometimes they are just as scared as we are but are just afraid to show it, afraid that they won't appear manly or something.
The road that we are on is not an easy one, but sometimes standing by and watching someone you love go through a rough time is harder on the person doing the watching because they are at a loss as to what to do or say.
Lyme, try not to take your husband's apparent indifference so personally. I sometimes feel the same way with my husband, but it all comes down to the fact that most men don't know how to show concern and support. They think if they help out with the kids and help out around the house that they are showing you support. I go to all my doctor's appointments alone too and have just learned to tell my husband what the doctor says and how things are going. I have discovered that even though my husband doesn't say a whole lot about it he does care and he does worry. If he knows that I have had a fall he calls to check on me and if he comes home and dinner isn't ready and I am sleeping. He cooks dinner and lets me sleep til I am ready to wake up on my own. Its all the little things that lets me know he cares and supports me. I hope that maybe if you try to think along those lines and really pay attention that you will notice he is trying in the only way he knows how. Sometimes they are just as scared as we are but are just afraid to show it, afraid that they won't appear manly or something.
The road that we are on is not an easy one, but sometimes standing by and watching someone you love go through a rough time is harder on the person doing the watching because they are at a loss as to what to do or say.
mackiet
10-29-2006, 02:41 PM
Blessed,
Wondernig if you have anyone who can help you get your bills in order? Do the companies have an automatic payment system so you just get the bill and what was withdrawn from you accout. This could help you so you don't have to go through the task of writting cheques and putting it in the mail.
Just a suggestion from another who is overwhelmed with life.
Wondernig if you have anyone who can help you get your bills in order? Do the companies have an automatic payment system so you just get the bill and what was withdrawn from you accout. This could help you so you don't have to go through the task of writting cheques and putting it in the mail.
Just a suggestion from another who is overwhelmed with life.
shellymay
10-29-2006, 07:32 PM
I'm having a hard time coming to terms with am I just lazy or is this another symptom. I have not been diagnosed with MS but all my symptoms seem to be pointing to this even though I have no lesions that have shown up yet. Some test have come back abnormal but I still wonder is this me making the symptoms appear or are they really happening. Am I just lazy or am I tired all the time? Does anyone else feel this way??
Michelle
Michelle
trucky
11-02-2006, 07:13 PM
I live alone in Texas and it's a family values area here--ZERO community help. Insane in 2006! i'm still disorganized. I pay most of my bills online, I DO NOT write my cash flow, and I DO call the bank's automatic system that tells me what went in and out of my account when. Hey, if no one else is going to manage my papers, i say let the institutions do it for me. I feel no guilt whatsoever. We're the ones who should be getting help, especially after i put plenty of my hard-earned cash into this state! :p
Jerseygirl77
12-01-2006, 03:00 PM
It's funny that this was brought up. I was recently diagnosed with optic neuritis and I have a few lesions on my brain. One Dr says I have MS and the other just said I have a good chance of developing it.
I've been on adderall for over a year now due to that feeling. Perhaps its MS not ADHD since I was fine when I was a kid. Well, the adderall works wonders so no matter what the cause I will continue to take it.
I've been on adderall for over a year now due to that feeling. Perhaps its MS not ADHD since I was fine when I was a kid. Well, the adderall works wonders so no matter what the cause I will continue to take it.
pjsmom1997
12-04-2006, 01:53 PM
I know exactly how u feel.I feel like i don't know what i am doing anymore.I am soooo confused.It is so depressing.I was diagnosed with ms in april 2006.I feel like i am crazy some days.i start something and then forget what i am doing.it helps to know i am not the only one who feels this way.just one day at a time i guess.good luck.