Hello everyone..I kind of just realised something. Of course..I have felt at home with u all here...u r great...but I shouldn't be here with u....everyone is thinner than me...what the hell am I doing here? It is making me feel worse right now. I want to be thin and I am not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! May not be here for a while. Take careX

Hey hun, I know exactly how you feel. I mainly lurk on this board without posting because I somehow feel like some sort of failure for not having been able to get extremely thin. And I doubt I'm thinner than you. Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in feeling like that.

I hate to hear that you're leaving! We all have the same things in common, we all are suffering with eating disorders or did at one point! We all need each other no matter what our size to help each other through the rough times and be excited during the good times! I too, understand the feeling of being bigger than everyone else and sometimes it making you feel worse, I feel that way everyday at school, but when I come here, I don't care what size everyone is, I don't care what size I am, I just like coming here because this is the place where people care about me and I care about everyone else here at the board and i'd hate to see you go!

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--katie--
When it hurts to look back and
you are scared to look ahead,
look beside you and I will be there

Hi, Caroline. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif

I have to say I'd be very sad to see you leave, but I also know that you have to do what's best for you.

Please don't judge yourself against others here at this board... http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif I agree with Katie, we're here to help each other through the bad times and give support and offer advice - whatever your weight is, it just doesn't matter! Please try to understand that.

I do understand that sometimes you just need to take some time to yourself to think things through and try to come to terms with some 'issues' you may be faced with - I've been there. So please, if you need to take some time away, by all means do it! But only if it's for that reason, NOT if it's because you think you've "failed" or something else like that.

I don't know what your weight is and I'm not going to ask. Not because I'm not concerened or because I don't care, but because eating disorders - or if you don't believe you have one, 'issues with food' - aren't really about weight, they're about control. Sure, all the focus is put on the person's weight but all in all there are always underlying reasons why a person goes down that road.

If we don't see you back here for a while we'll know you decided to take a break for yourself - maybe it'll do you some good! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif But you better not dissappear all together!

Take care!

Love,
Ash



[This message has been edited by Ashlee (edited 01-07-2003).]

XIA...thanks for comforting me- letting me kniw I am not alone. I know I am not alone...but at the same time I feel alone...know what I mean?
Singingsmiles- I agree fully with what u say..I usually come here and feel fine...but knowing that everyone is thinner and taller than me pushes me downwards right now.
Ashlee- thanx again for your support. I think I just need a break from being me....but I cant get away from myself at the minute. I really wanna tell my boyfriend just how down and how strugglin I am...but I only want him to know me as happy...even though he saw me upset. I dont want him to think that I am a cry baby!!!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXX not so sure if I am gonna stay at the moment or not

Em,
I have so much I want to say to you, but don't know were to start. First, I really hope you don't go. If it was for other reasons, like you were being triggered here, or had to study for finals, or something like that than I would say go for it, but I suspect that you are scared from what not only people talk about here, but what you talk about. I find that a lot of the time you are very honest here and that can be very scarey. Hon, I know you may not feel as thin as others, but thinness isn't everything honey (and like Ashlee, I'm not going to ask you your stats.)
I also think it's important for you to come clean with your boyfriend. I have found that a relationship in were I had to act like someone I wasn't, wasn't fullfilling and was very draining and not only not fair to me, but also my partner at the time.
Okay, I've said my piece.
Take Care

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As long as there is life, there is hope

Hi hon http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif

Awww, I'm so sorry that you feel that way. I feel that way too sometimes, but Ashlee, Katie and the others are right...it's not about weight. WE are all struggling with "food issues" and eating disorders...and an eating disorder comes in all shapes and sizes. I am with you...I'm not super skinny, in fact I've gained lots of weight since I've been on recovery. And I was never "underweight" either. They're right---ED's aren't only about weight...it's CONTROL...and you can hurt yourself with an ED at ANY WEIGHT, that's the important thing to remember. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif Please take care of yourself, and we'll be thinking about you...if you need us, we're here, but if you need to take some time for yourself, that's ok too. We're gonna miss you around here. Please come back as soon as you feel up to it! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif GOOD LUCK!!!

NEVER GIVE UP
~sarah~