irishmom1
10-27-2006, 04:31 PM
TO those parents who have thoughts of hurting their kids, how do you handle stressful situations and where do you divert your hurtful thoughts to? I realize that when I'm anxious or stressed, it's so much easier (unfortunately) for me to distract myself by thinking hurtful thoughts towards my child. I HATE IT!!!!! It's like my thought automatically goes towards him, I don;t have time to think of any other resolution, the thought comes in so fast. But I think b/c he's so innocent, that my brain is telling me "yes, you can pick on him, it's ok". I do have other thoughts towards people I know but I can dismiss them. It just sticks with me when it's towards my son. The guilt I carry around with me is unbearable. When I kiss him goodnight or goodbye, I always say "I'm sorry" (not out loud) to him. I feel like such a failure. I start therapy tomorrow (saturday).
Any input would help. Thanks!
Any input would help. Thanks!
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BadMalibu
10-27-2006, 11:28 PM
Irish-
I may not have children, but I understand what it's like to have those thoughts, as most of us suffer from them. Believe me when I say that you're not a failure, you have a beautiful son to prove that and none of us are failures. We've made it this far in life, so we must be doing something right.
You said that you tell your son silently "I'm sorry", but what I think you need to do is say you're sorry to yourself and forgive yourself because you never asked to have OCD, you don't want it, and none of us do.
When you start your therapy you'll see what triggers these thoughts and emotions and you'll learn more things about yourself and how you can defeat these thoughts and compulsions.
Good luck and let us know how you do! :D
I may not have children, but I understand what it's like to have those thoughts, as most of us suffer from them. Believe me when I say that you're not a failure, you have a beautiful son to prove that and none of us are failures. We've made it this far in life, so we must be doing something right.
You said that you tell your son silently "I'm sorry", but what I think you need to do is say you're sorry to yourself and forgive yourself because you never asked to have OCD, you don't want it, and none of us do.
When you start your therapy you'll see what triggers these thoughts and emotions and you'll learn more things about yourself and how you can defeat these thoughts and compulsions.
Good luck and let us know how you do! :D