so i posted yesterday how i lied to my doc. saying i didnt self harm, i said i thought about it but didnt, in actual fact i spent most of the week hacking my thigh with a scalpel. but i couldnt tell her. i actually want help but im so afraid. its such a big step, in the past month ive gone from hiding everything to exposing alot. i still havnt told her about the abuse tho.

she said if i self harmed, itd mean my illness is at a whole new level, and a specialist would be called in. like a psychiatrist!-what happens with them. can you see them in secret, im 18 but live at home. i feel sooooo stupid. will they want to see the cuts, do i ahve to show them, what stage do they admit you to hospital?? i still want to self harm, but im resisting cos i know if i decide to show her, the cuts will look really bad by next week if i carry on, i mean thers already 53 cuts, they now appear more as scratches cos its not deep, but it covers alot of area, itll look way worse if i carry on, and then do you think she'd put me in hospital??!!!please help, im so scared, i know i shoud tell her but im so afraid and no one knows, i copuldnt bring myself to tell my best freind-the only one who knows im depressed. please help me, xox

The only way a doctor can force you into a hospital is if you seem to be a immediate risk to yourself or others. A doctor who knows about self harm is unlikely to admit you over that as they know the reasons behind it where a doctor who knows nothing about self harm may see it as a suicide attempt


trg247

its such a big step, in the past month ive gone from hiding everything to exposing alot.

It is scary Pucca. You have gone from hiding this abuse secret and then your depression for more than half of your life. You have come so far. You should really be proud because you have pushed yourself to this point even though you have been really scared. I think that you will get this huge relief when you finally quit keeping all of your deep secrets and tell everything to your doctor. I think that it would be better to have a self harm specialist on your case. You are really lucky to have all of these good doctors available to you. Like trg said, you cannot be hospitalized against your will unless you are suicidal or homicidal. I hope that you can feel some relief real soon. Take care Pucca.