ibelieve
10-31-2006, 11:11 AM
Hi friends.
I think it's time for me to leave this board. It has just become too painful to see everyone so excited about ttc and even harder to see folks get pg easily and go on to have happy healthy pregnancies. It's not that I wish anything bad for anybody, NOT AT ALL! It's just that I'm struggling so much with jealousy right now. I wish I could be excited about ttc, not terrified. I wish my positive HPT meant that I would have a baby in 9 months, but it doesn't. And I don't want to be the downer. TTC should be exciting and fun, and for most folks, a + HPT does mean a baby. So for this reason, I think I must move on. It's too bad there isn't a TTC after M/C board. You might be able to find me on the IF board if you need me. I am always willing to help. You guys have been amazing and I don't know if I would have been able to make it without you. Good luck to you all. :wave:
believe :angel:
I think it's time for me to leave this board. It has just become too painful to see everyone so excited about ttc and even harder to see folks get pg easily and go on to have happy healthy pregnancies. It's not that I wish anything bad for anybody, NOT AT ALL! It's just that I'm struggling so much with jealousy right now. I wish I could be excited about ttc, not terrified. I wish my positive HPT meant that I would have a baby in 9 months, but it doesn't. And I don't want to be the downer. TTC should be exciting and fun, and for most folks, a + HPT does mean a baby. So for this reason, I think I must move on. It's too bad there isn't a TTC after M/C board. You might be able to find me on the IF board if you need me. I am always willing to help. You guys have been amazing and I don't know if I would have been able to make it without you. Good luck to you all. :wave:
believe :angel:
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eurokelly
10-31-2006, 12:15 PM
believe ~ you made me cry. I feel like I know exactly where you are coming from, both DH and I have been very emotional and crying today because this is so painful and so difficult to stay optimistic and happy for everyone else. I completely agree - I do wish everyone the very best, but also know that even when (if?) i get the next BFP it will fill me with fear that the whole waiting game starts again....so yes, once we have been through the losses it is impossible to recapture the innocence of thinking that BFP is the end of the journey...we know it is not always that way. TTC after m/c (and ectopic) is a different journey and maybe we should go elsewhere, but I am not infertile and those women have a different journey too. I don't have answers for you (or for myself) I just wish you all the happiness you deserve and hope that one day your dream comes true. Love, luck and very best wishes, k xxxxx
GoldenMom
10-31-2006, 12:36 PM
Believe~ Take good care of yourself. TTC has been a difficult journey made more difficult under your circumstances. Know that I truly wish you the best luck. I also want to mention that there are many groups like this one that cater toward TTC after a loss. Seek one out.
Hugs,
Golden
Hugs,
Golden
tami52100
10-31-2006, 12:43 PM
I understand where you are coming from. 6 years now TTC , 3 M/C ,and one healthy 6year old son later I am an emtional wreck. I try to stay positive and pray for that + hpt but I know when I see it the worry is not over and it is going to make things alot more stressful for awhile.
I don't come on the boards very often anymore we are taking a break from the whole TTC thing no timing,no opk, no bbt, no more running out to buy hpt because I am a hour late or I have fantom symptoms. I do feel better now less stress I had started see a dr because of the stress it had really got that bad. The other reasons I don't come on here anymore is for the same reason you're not going to the jealousy thing is a killer and I hate it more than anything in the world I have never been a jealous person. I have got to the point I don't even want to go to town because I don't want to see people all happy with their little babies if makes me feel horrible for feeling the way I do but I know some of you may understand where the feelings are coming from.
The TTC stuff had nearly ruined my marriage ( I say TTC but I think it was mostly stress) So a break was diffently needed. We have talked about it and we will start back after the holidays so the first of the year unless things change.
I hope and pray for everyone of you to have bfp soon and I pray non of you have to feel the hurt of a m/c and the pain of dealing with infertilty. So here is to all of you GOOOOOOOD LUUUUCK and TONS OF BABY DUST TO YOU ALL!!!!!!!
I will still stop in from time to time like now but I have made myself stay really busy so I don't think about TTC I have my kennel I am homeschooling my son a first grader (honestly that is enough stress to make anyone go crazy HAHA) I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Sorry if this is so long and some of it was ranting but everyone needs someone to talk to that understands and I have you ladies.
I don't come on the boards very often anymore we are taking a break from the whole TTC thing no timing,no opk, no bbt, no more running out to buy hpt because I am a hour late or I have fantom symptoms. I do feel better now less stress I had started see a dr because of the stress it had really got that bad. The other reasons I don't come on here anymore is for the same reason you're not going to the jealousy thing is a killer and I hate it more than anything in the world I have never been a jealous person. I have got to the point I don't even want to go to town because I don't want to see people all happy with their little babies if makes me feel horrible for feeling the way I do but I know some of you may understand where the feelings are coming from.
The TTC stuff had nearly ruined my marriage ( I say TTC but I think it was mostly stress) So a break was diffently needed. We have talked about it and we will start back after the holidays so the first of the year unless things change.
I hope and pray for everyone of you to have bfp soon and I pray non of you have to feel the hurt of a m/c and the pain of dealing with infertilty. So here is to all of you GOOOOOOOD LUUUUCK and TONS OF BABY DUST TO YOU ALL!!!!!!!
I will still stop in from time to time like now but I have made myself stay really busy so I don't think about TTC I have my kennel I am homeschooling my son a first grader (honestly that is enough stress to make anyone go crazy HAHA) I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Sorry if this is so long and some of it was ranting but everyone needs someone to talk to that understands and I have you ladies.
Sweet73
10-31-2006, 02:08 PM
Hi Believe,
I just want to wish you the best of luck. I understand all of your feelings. I was sad reading your post becasue I hang around the TTC board to see if any of my friends have good news, and always looking out for yours. I know that everything is going to turn out for you, I feel it in my heart. Right now your are on a path, and although there may be worries ahead of you, you will get through & past them. Good luck to you & DH...
-Sweet:angel:
I just want to wish you the best of luck. I understand all of your feelings. I was sad reading your post becasue I hang around the TTC board to see if any of my friends have good news, and always looking out for yours. I know that everything is going to turn out for you, I feel it in my heart. Right now your are on a path, and although there may be worries ahead of you, you will get through & past them. Good luck to you & DH...
-Sweet:angel:
fallen_angel
10-31-2006, 02:27 PM
Believe,
Im so sorry to hear of your pain, i know how much you have been through.
Ive had to stop TTC due to my relationship splitting up, so im also leaving the board. But i just wanted to say how much you have helped me during my time here and how grateful i am for that.
I know one day you will get a healthy sticky BFP, and you deserve it so much.
Sending you the best of luck and lots of hugs:angel:
Im so sorry to hear of your pain, i know how much you have been through.
Ive had to stop TTC due to my relationship splitting up, so im also leaving the board. But i just wanted to say how much you have helped me during my time here and how grateful i am for that.
I know one day you will get a healthy sticky BFP, and you deserve it so much.
Sending you the best of luck and lots of hugs:angel:
dizzygirl
10-31-2006, 03:08 PM
Believe, I am so sorry to see you go, but I can completely understand how you feel, it is very hard to see it for us too. I wish you all the best of luck, please check on this board and continue to give wonderful advice. Love, Dizzy:angel:
neshee
11-01-2006, 11:06 AM
Sorry to hear that, believe. But I too have the jealous thing. I have not had a m/c that I know of...but understand the pain that it could cause. I don't know if you believe in God, but sometimes the best thing we can do is put our worries to him. If you have a pastor, or priest or whatever, you can talk to them about this. Sometimes spiritual help is good too! I know, b/c this has helped me with my anxiety. Now, I am learning to leave it all to God, and he will take care of me. Good luck, God bless. :angel:
principessa
11-02-2006, 03:26 PM
Believe, I think I understand your feelings I'm so fed up ttc, BFP and then ...nothing. It's horrible. I've only had 4 chemical Pgs in the last 2 years but each one was a loss to get over. As you say, BFP is just our first hurdle, keeping it is the problem. I just want to wish you all the luck in the world and hope you will return soon with some long awaited good news for us! Thanks for all your advice and shoulders to cry on. Love and prayers xxxx
megss
11-02-2006, 03:41 PM
Good luck Believe. I know, it seems nearly impossible to remain optimistic after multiple failed cycles. I have not bee trying as long as you, although 6 months has felt like an eternity for DH and I. I also had a m/c so it's true, once you see a BFP, the worry has just begun! Just remember that we are here for you if you decide to pop in to say hi!
love and hugs,
Megan
love and hugs,
Megan