:wave: Hi, Everybody!
I was thinking about some of the thoughtless and hurtful things people have said to me in my 12 years TTC, mostly just because people who have never been through it have no clue what you are going through...
Anyway, that led me to go over in my mind some of the kind and supportive things that people have said. The funny thing is that some of those things hurt (because almost everything about infertility hurts) but I still treasured them up in my heart.
I was wondering if you folks had the same kind of experiences, and if you'd like to share some of the things that folks have said that really helped you through,
or some of the things you'd really love to hear people say...

The one thing, so far, that meant a lot to me was, "You guys would be such great parents. I really hope this works, right away! We're keeping our finger crossed!"

adoette

What a great idea! It's nice to remind ourselves of the positive things people say, since we tend to remember the negative. I have heard a few times, too, that I would make a great mother. (I love that!) I also like it when people notice how much I love to be around children. My sisters have even told me that they admire me. (i am the youngest, too) But, more than anything, I love to be told how much God loves me, and no matter what, He is with me every step of the way. So many people go throughout life without leaning on God, and it's hard for me to imagine life without Him. This infertilty has been rough, but overall, my faith is stronger, and I even believe it's brought our family, and my marriage even closer than it was before. :angel: :angel: :angel:

I love it when my friends and I go out and they bring their kids along, then tell me how good I am with kids. I don't like to hear this from people I barely know, but when my family and close friends remind me I'm not ancient :) still plenty young enough to have kids it helps me put things in perspective. I love it when people say dh would make a good dad, and I like that my family is supportive of our adopting if/when we decide to.

I seem to run into random people like at work or social gatherings that happen to ask me if we have kids. I always am just truthful and say we do want them, but it just hasn't happened yet. For some reason, it's almost always someone who either struggled with infertility themselves, or who has children who are dealing with that (a lot of times it's "mother figures"). Every single one of them has a story about some treatment that helped the couple have a baby. They are always very kind and loving, and surprisingly open and honest, and want to offer encouragement. There has never been a story that had a sad ending. That's encouraging!

I also would rather hear how good of a mother I would be rather than sympathy for our current IF situation. I am usualy never without children. I work with them, have lots of neices and nephews that spend a lot of time with us and will often spend time with my daycare families at parties or gatherings. Often I am at the store or the bank with 3-5 of my daycare kids and will get the question are they all yours? I happily respond no they are just borrowed. It makes me feel a little better that I have the mommy thing down I just need to get past this bump along the way that is IF. It takes an amazing woman to fight this battle and I just want to encourage anyone with any doubt that we will all be great mommies.