Alright, for about the last 2 months, I haven't eaten too much, and when I did I threw it up.....I wanted to lose a little bit of weight and I'm not into the whole diet and exercise thing, and I didn't feel like making it a 'long' process. I didn't ever feel hungry or anything, and I'm at like a really good size now, but this past week I've felt SO hungry! And I've eaten SO much, it's sick. And I of course throw it up, and then a little bit later I feel starved again, and do the same thing.....it's becoming really tiring. It's so draining and I dread throwing up, you know? And I'm not really looking to lose anymore more weight, b/c I don't want to get too skinny......and I seriously don't think I have a problem, yet. Like I totally think I can stop, if I WANTED to, and I do, but I'm just really afraid that if I do, I'm going to gain weight realllly quickly, and end up weighing more than I did from the start. I definitely see that happening, too, b/c I've eaten like nothing for 2 months, and all of a sudden I'll be eating way more then usual and not throwing it up. And I just want to stop now before I have a problem. I don't want to deal with therepy, and after reading some of these posts, it just seems like a terrible mess that's going to be with me for a long time, all because I wanted to lose a few pounds, you know? So if I stop....am I going to get grossly fat all of a sudden????

Hey there, i understand completely what you mean. once you start there is such a fear to stopping. you feel like your gaining some control on your life and you don't want to let it slide. i'm not very good at taking my own advice, but i'm pretty sure that if you introduce more food slowly you wont balloon out or anything. doctors always say try to have 6 small meals a day as opposed to 3 big ones and then your metbilism will work harder. also if you stop eating altogether that's when you will actually gain weight as your body thinks it's starving and slows its metabilism. i myself am not sure if my problem actually is a REAL problem! i feel like i'm in control, well most of the time, i just can't deal with having so much bad stuff inside me sometimes. it sounds like it's becomming a habit for you, so maybe if you think of it as breaking a habit as oposed to a 'big problem' then that will help.
i'm a newbie to this site too, so stay in touch, let me know how your doing
Beth xx

I feel like you and I are living parallel lives, however I am not losing weight like I thought I would, but I still keep purging becasue I don't want to get even fatter. To most people, I look fine(5'6", 157 lbs)~but I don't feel comfortable in my own skin most of the times http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif
When I see myself in a picture I wonder who it is, because It seems like I look so much bigger in pictures than I do when I look in the mirror~sound stupid right? Even though that's the case, I still don't like what I see in the mirror. I totally feel like a lard today and I always have people ask me to go out to lunch at work and I think they may be suspicious as to why I always turn them down. Where are you writing from? Maybe we could find a way to support each other other than the message board if we are in the same state. I am in Colorado. Keep in touch!
Meg

You guys neeed serious help. I used to be a part of what you are experiencing, and one day I decided that the best thing to do was to tell someone. I ended up telling my boyfriend and I made a promise to him that I would NEVER do it again. Since we have amazing trust in eachother, I cannot break this promise to him. We agreed that If i did it again, and he found out, He was going to take the steps at getting me therapy and higher powered help. Basically he was going to tell my mother and my doctor. This was the deal that we made together, and since this, i have not plurged for over a year. With my and his trust, i have over come my problem. If any of you need someone to talk to: [removed].ca

Love ya all. Good luck to you!

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-- Good Luck!

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[This message has been edited by moderator2 (edited 04-24-2003).]