I don't know what my deal is. I have tried for 4 years to get the body back that I once had after my daughter was born and I don't think it is possible. I have worked out religiously and followed healthy diets and I never acheive the results I want. Now, all of a sudden, I am purging all the time. I don't binge, I eat normally, but the thought of the calories accumulating in my body is making me obsessed about "getting rid of it". I have always had a problem with body image. Now that I see the weight I am losing by doing this, it is encouraging me to continue and I am so scared about what it is doing to my body. On top of that, I am starving myself too. I want to stop. No one knows about this and I feel like such a failure. I have been doing this for 2 weeks now, any advice on how to get over this before it gets totally out of control??? It's all I think about anymore! Help!

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Meg

Hey first of all welcome to the board, I know exactly how it feels to want that pre-children body back. And I'm not saying its impossible (sometimes it feels like it) But it sounds like your problem may already be out of control (it's so easy to go from semi problem to huge ordeal) Especially when you add the stress of family to the disorder.
But there is hope sometimes the longer you put getting help off the worse it gets, I know its super hard to ask for help or even admit you have a problem especially to the closest people to you. I was so scared of the reaction I would get that I put of saying anything for years.. I hope this helps tell someone now have faith in those you love.. There is help out there be willing to ask. And ofcoarse we all are always here for support.. These things can be beat.. Stay strong and Positive!!!!

amberlynoel

THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR RESPONSE. I AM DOING A LITTLE BETTER, I SAW SOME BLOOD ON EASTER WHEN I THREW UP AND I TOTALLY FREAKED. I DON'T WANT TO DESTROY MY BODY AND KILL MYSELF. I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR, I AM SO AFRAID OF LEAVING MY 4 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER. I AM FOCUSING ON STAYING HEALTHY~THOUGH SOMETIMES THE URGE CAN BE SO OVERWHELMING! THANKS AGAIN FOR YOUR SUPPORT.:TUP:

meg, hi, i'd agree with above post that it sounds like it is aready a bigger problem than you think.
i'm new to this too, and i know how much 'body image' can destroy you. i'm not saying i have all the answers but as a mother with children and family its so important that you get yourself well. i think you should see your g.p it's not admitting defeat, just a good step to making sure this doesn't take over your life. try eating little amounts about 6 times a day, this should fill you up and it means that your bodies metabilism works faster. whatever you do DO NOT start starving yourself because believe it or not you will actually put on weight. if you don't eat then your body will slow down its metabilism.
i know it's easier said than done, but i've started exercising more, not going overboard coz that will drive you crazy too! but just enough combined with healthy food to gve you energy. if you can feel positive about the food your putting in yourbody then you'll be less likely to remove it.
for me theproblem comes with binges, i comfort eat junk food and then am sick, i'm struggling with this at moment but know if i can keep cutting down on my bnging then i'll get slowly better.
please don't give up, and don't panic coz your def not alone
keep in touch anytime,
beth x

Beth,
Thanks for your words of encouragement. Until I heard your responses, I did'nt really think it was out of control. I came home yesterday and ate way too much and felt so gross, so I had to get rid of it. I have never felt such a loss of control, I don't know what my problem is, I'm the one who always has it together ya'know! And you're totally right about the starvation, I was doing that and I totally did gain weight. Have you ever seen blood after purging? It totally freaked me out. I know I need to talk to someone about it, but for right now it seems that all of you are my safe haven! Thanks again http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wink.gif

hey again, glad to be of some use, the most important thing is realising your not alone. none of us are. i don't think i'm doing as well as i thought i was after the events of my evening! but we must not give up! we're going to get through this i promise!
prob not meant to do this but i trust the people who use this site. my email is [removed].com if you ever want to talk just contact me.
stay strong and dont ever stop fighting.
p.s the blood thing is when you purged up so much that there is nothing left but acid, and lining etc, this is not good! dont panic you aint dying but it's your body's way of saying stop.
stayin touch
lots of love Beth

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