So I've been recovering. Things have been going okay with the eating aspect, but I still exercise like a crazy person...but I'm working on it. Most days I feel pretty okay about recovering. I have no idea how much I weigh cause I threw out my scale a couple of months ago. However, my nutrtionist weighs me every week, and I always ask her if I'm staying on track. But I have a new problem! I CANNOT deal with changing clothes sizes. I love clothes and shopping...but I refuse to go shopping because I don't want to face the fact that I may be a bigger size. I have all these pants from when I was really underweight---I try them on every so often to make sure they still fit. Now they are getting too tight and I can't take it! I confided to my nutritionist about this and she said, "It's my new scale." I thought about it...and it really is! I hate it. I'm sick of scales! How can I cope with this. I feel like a freaking balloon. I don't like my body. I'm starting to think of dieting again. Please help! How can I deal with this!?!

I know it may sound expensive, but have you considered throwing out all your old clothes and starting over? Yes, while you are shopping you might have to deal with a bigger size, but I'd say those moments are preferable to however many moments you have to feel your clothes "closing in" on you, so to speak. I too can relate to the uncomfort of tight clothes... that's rough... but for me I know I don't think about how much I hate my body when my clothes fit comfortably instead of tightly. If it's jeopardizing your health, I'd say it's worth the cost, right?

Hi Applecheek,

Way to go on feeling good about recover! I can totally relate to the clothing size issue. I must agree with jjwdean. Get rid of the small sizes. Give them to charity or something, but get rid of them! They are a sign of unhealthiness. Don't stay locked into the numbers game this way. I have been in recovery for a few years now and I still wear a size or two bigger because I can't stand the tight feeling of clothing, so then in reality the numbers have nothing to do with what reality is.

I really want to address the exercise. You remind me so much of me. I exercised obsessively in the midst of my ed. After all exercise is healthy, right? Yes, unless done to the extreme. I am 40 years old and this year I've had multiple stress fractures in one leg because of the lack of nutrition years ago. And, now I'm looking at knee surgery because of the abuse I put my body through with excessive exercise. Be careful. Moderation is the key. I'd hate to see have to go through what I'm going through now. It's painful. It's really hard knowing that all of this could have been avoided. I did this to myself.

Good Luck,
GloBones