Hello! I have been battling with anorexia for about 15 months now. I have made progress but some days I just can't help feeling that this horrible disease will plague me for the rest of my life. I am post a binge from last night. I feel horrible, bloated, ugly. Physicially, my stomach hurts, is distended and kept me from sleeping last night. I have been to counseling and finally left when I realized that myself was keeping me from healing. I am basically just looking for support and a place where I can go and spill (like I am doing right now) to people who truly understand and are striving for the same goals that I am.

Grace Seeker

Hi GraceSeeker! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif

If you need support you have come to the right place. I haven't been around often, but I know the others have!

First of all, you are not alone. Anorexia is a horrible disorder, and I know what it feels like to imagine yourself living with this monster for the rest of your life. But recovery is possible.

I know you have tried counseling, but have you ever tried seeing a doctor or a nutritionist. What you said in your post is soooo true. If you're the one holding yourself back from recovery. YOU"RE the only one who can change this for you. And sometimes it takes longer to get yourself ready. This is a huge change you are about to undergo. Recovery means changing your whole lifestyle around. It's so scary, but OMG, it's worth it! Trust me. http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wink.gif

Somedays seem like they go one forever, but then you hit milestones...ONE week, ONE month, then TWO months...then THREE, then a year. And you realize that some of the tendancies and thoughts may never go away, but you are in control now. And it's a wonderful thing.

If you ever need to chat, please post. Someone will always be around shortly to reply. They really are gret boards!! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

NEVER GIVE UP
~sarah~

http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wave.gif Hi Grace Seeker!

I'm so glad you posted, do you realize you've made the first step towards recovery and a better life? GO YOU!!! I remember when I was in your shoes, I was new to the boards and felt oh so hopeless. I felt like I would never be in recovery. And I didn't until I was ready to. Now after being in 2 medical hospitals and one clinic for my anorexia I can safely say...I'm ready to recover! I never thought that I would be where I'm at, but guess what...I am! But I couldn't have done it on my own. Sarah is right, a nutritionist is a wonderful tool, but you shouldn't go until you're ready to. You might want to try reading up on recovery books. Recovery is a journey, not a destination where rocky roads are expected. There are days when you get discouraged and there are weeks when you are able to eat and not have a second thought about it. RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE! I wish you the best of luck, and keep posting!!!

-Carlie

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Scales are for fish.

Its good that you are looking for backup. Im sure were all here for ya. I deffinitly am.

[This message has been edited by Zesty (edited 05-07-2003).]