kackyk
11-03-2006, 04:01 AM
In 2004 my husband suffered a large bleed followed by numerous complications....After 2 months in a rehab facility and various hospitals, he came home with the assistance of a hoyer lift....In 2 months he was walking, climbing stairs but very tired. Recently, he has been diagnosed with Parkinsons....for me, he is certainly not the man I married....There are personality problems....He is difficult...and unreasonable and experiences catastrophic reactions....I am trying to remain calm and keep reminding myself....It's the stroke!!! Can anyone relate?
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Rachelwells
11-06-2006, 12:41 PM
Sorry to hear about your husband having a stoke.
I can relate to what you are saying regarding the short temper. My father had a stroke just over two weeks ago. His recovery is coming very slowly and its causing him a great deal of frustration. He has been taking this out a lot on my mum and sometimes the nurses at hospital. He gets especially annoyed if we cannot understand what he is trying to say. He keeps saying hes not going to get better and gets very angry when we try and reassure him that he will. My mum is worried that his personality has changed as she has been told by someone that people who have a stroke can become like a different person all together. I think a lot of it though at this stage is just sheer frustration.
Do you mind me asking about your husbands recovery and how he progressed each day/week? I know no two strokes or people are the same but it would be nice to have something to give us a bit of hope.
My dad had a bleed on the left side of his brain and was left unable to move his right side. Since hes been in hospital he has been able to move his toes and fingers on his right hand side slightly. He even lifted his leg off the bed a few inches at the weekend. His speach is improving and thankfully mentally he is still ok.
He keeps asking us to take him home as he doesnt want to be in hospital any longer but im worried how my mum will cope if they do allow him to return home. Hes not a small man and he would need to be lifted in and out of bed. Im also a bit worried that he will continue to take his anger out on her.
Did you get any professional help once your husband returned home?
I can relate to what you are saying regarding the short temper. My father had a stroke just over two weeks ago. His recovery is coming very slowly and its causing him a great deal of frustration. He has been taking this out a lot on my mum and sometimes the nurses at hospital. He gets especially annoyed if we cannot understand what he is trying to say. He keeps saying hes not going to get better and gets very angry when we try and reassure him that he will. My mum is worried that his personality has changed as she has been told by someone that people who have a stroke can become like a different person all together. I think a lot of it though at this stage is just sheer frustration.
Do you mind me asking about your husbands recovery and how he progressed each day/week? I know no two strokes or people are the same but it would be nice to have something to give us a bit of hope.
My dad had a bleed on the left side of his brain and was left unable to move his right side. Since hes been in hospital he has been able to move his toes and fingers on his right hand side slightly. He even lifted his leg off the bed a few inches at the weekend. His speach is improving and thankfully mentally he is still ok.
He keeps asking us to take him home as he doesnt want to be in hospital any longer but im worried how my mum will cope if they do allow him to return home. Hes not a small man and he would need to be lifted in and out of bed. Im also a bit worried that he will continue to take his anger out on her.
Did you get any professional help once your husband returned home?
kackyk
11-06-2006, 11:47 PM
Dear Rachel:
My husband stayed in a rehab center for about 2 months before coming home. He hated it there and his doctor suggested that he return home, that he would do better at home....and that's what we did. It wasn't easy. I had help....I am one of the fortunate people who happen to have long term health insurance.
My husband lived in the diningroom on a hospital bed and we used a hoyer lift to get him in and out of the bed. The doctors in the rehab said that he'd never be able to walk unassisted.....Well, in two months he was walking and climbing stairs....We had therapists from Medicare come to our home to help him....occupational and physical therapists....and surprisingly he did very well.
He had his psychological problems....he was jealous of one of the therapists without reason. The doctor prescribed an anti-psychotic for him....He took anti-depressants and pills to help him sleep as well as tranquilizers....These medications helped and eventually he had to give up the Risperdal and Cymbalta...However, he is still difficult to deal with and I have had to learn what sets him off....I have to walk on eggshells! And to understand that he can't help himself. I find that I can't reason with him....He is so easily angered.
It is not an easy situation and I feel for you....It's a big dilemma that you have....If you have no help at home, it may be better to have him stay where he is. If your mom, on the other hand, is strong and healthy and has the time to care for him, well, maybe then it would be okay to bring him home....Your Dad is a big man....well, that makes it all the more difficult.
One thing that I did for my hubby....I would rub his feet every night when he was in the hospital, in the rehab, and even now at home....It helps to relax him and fall asleep. It helped me to feel close to him too....
Rachel, this has not been an easy journey. It's heartbreaking for your dad, for your mom and for you too. But there is hope....I see how much better my husband is now....he was close to death 2 years ago....Certainly, he will never be the way he once was nor will our life ever be what it once was....and that's so hard to accept.
Here's one suggestion....See if you can find a caregiver's group in your community. It helps to talk with other people who are in the same boat. You can get ideas from others too....I joined a group and found that of the women there....all of us from very different backgrounds, we all had one great desire and that is to stay healthy......
Good luck to you....and don't hesitate to contact me.....
Carol
My husband stayed in a rehab center for about 2 months before coming home. He hated it there and his doctor suggested that he return home, that he would do better at home....and that's what we did. It wasn't easy. I had help....I am one of the fortunate people who happen to have long term health insurance.
My husband lived in the diningroom on a hospital bed and we used a hoyer lift to get him in and out of the bed. The doctors in the rehab said that he'd never be able to walk unassisted.....Well, in two months he was walking and climbing stairs....We had therapists from Medicare come to our home to help him....occupational and physical therapists....and surprisingly he did very well.
He had his psychological problems....he was jealous of one of the therapists without reason. The doctor prescribed an anti-psychotic for him....He took anti-depressants and pills to help him sleep as well as tranquilizers....These medications helped and eventually he had to give up the Risperdal and Cymbalta...However, he is still difficult to deal with and I have had to learn what sets him off....I have to walk on eggshells! And to understand that he can't help himself. I find that I can't reason with him....He is so easily angered.
It is not an easy situation and I feel for you....It's a big dilemma that you have....If you have no help at home, it may be better to have him stay where he is. If your mom, on the other hand, is strong and healthy and has the time to care for him, well, maybe then it would be okay to bring him home....Your Dad is a big man....well, that makes it all the more difficult.
One thing that I did for my hubby....I would rub his feet every night when he was in the hospital, in the rehab, and even now at home....It helps to relax him and fall asleep. It helped me to feel close to him too....
Rachel, this has not been an easy journey. It's heartbreaking for your dad, for your mom and for you too. But there is hope....I see how much better my husband is now....he was close to death 2 years ago....Certainly, he will never be the way he once was nor will our life ever be what it once was....and that's so hard to accept.
Here's one suggestion....See if you can find a caregiver's group in your community. It helps to talk with other people who are in the same boat. You can get ideas from others too....I joined a group and found that of the women there....all of us from very different backgrounds, we all had one great desire and that is to stay healthy......
Good luck to you....and don't hesitate to contact me.....
Carol
bigglugg
11-08-2006, 12:15 PM
been there done that 8yrs. ago, and yes things will get better. It all comes down to a "can do" attitude.
kackyk
11-09-2006, 11:42 PM
Are you talking about yourself or someone else? Was it the right frontal lobe? And was it a large bleed? I am just curious....My husband has made some progress recently; however, there are various limitations and, to be honest, his neurologist is not encouraging him to go to a cognitive therapist....
I would so appreciate hearing from you.
Carol
P. S. I am so glad to hear your encouraging words....best wishes for continued success.....
I would so appreciate hearing from you.
Carol
P. S. I am so glad to hear your encouraging words....best wishes for continued success.....