Please excuse the title of the message should have read "Mom Passed away 10/25/06"

Hi;

My mom passed away on October 25th (two days before my 40th birthday). I had been the primary caregiver for my mom for close to 20 years. She lived with me and my partner. There has not been a minute of my life that had not been effected one way or another by her.

The days seem easier to deal with than the nights. I can go on normally for an hour or two than all of a sudden the thoughts of her flood in. I truly feel she is in my soul because of how at peace I feel about her moving on. Don't get me wrong I miss her very much but I do not feel any guilt about her death and am not questioning what if I only did this or that. I know that is something she would not want me to do, as we did discuss how worried she was at onetime about how I would handle her death.

My mom was actually suppose to come home from the hospital on Monday the 23rd, however I got a stomach virus and the Doctor agreed to hold her until Thursday so she would not catch what I had, so it came as a shock when I received the phone call from the hospital at 4:18 Wednesday morning telling me she had passed.

I have not been able to bring myself to clean out her room just yet. I just started going through the laundry today and putting her things that had been in the laundry into a a bag. Could only do this for a couple of minutes. Tomorrow (Monday Nov 6th) will be my first day back to work, I really do not want to deal with the "How are you?" "Your mom is in a better place" etc. etc.

Can anyone offer any advice on how to handle this?

I am really my friend found this board.

Thanks
John

Hi John, I lost my Dad back in Januray, and I dealt with it really myself. That is my way. When people ask you how you are tell them the truth. Be honest about your feelings, you may find that someone can tell you that they have gone through this too, and you may find it a comfort, a bit like the message boards. You may also find people don't ask. People are scared around greif, they dont know what to say. If someone does take the time to ask, the only advice I would have is be honest about how you feel, if someone does take the time to ask it will be because they genuinely care.

Your loss is very recent, thoughts are with you
hugs Lois:angel:

you know what is bad when some one comes up to you at work and wants to know all about it .how when what happened every thing. thats what is hard. thats when i want a customer to interup me and need some help . and i can focus my atention on some thing else. but my animals have been a comfort i havent mentioned zoie. /lela/ willa/ prince/ and of couse smokey joe all but zoie and willa play out side during the day they only come in at night because i have had 2 lost to possoms and raccoons. it is really amazing zoie has been right with me in my lap or laying beside me. she knows moms going through a hard time and willa was a recuse she stays by me to but lela prince smokey joe love to play out side i let them out at about 5'00 a.m. and they come in at about 6'30p.m/ what i am saying is i have tryied to find some kind of peace through my animals. and going by the cemetary so i am sorry for your loss so like i said before type away we will be here for you.