TheFormat
11-07-2006, 07:27 PM
Hi there everyone! I'm dating a wonderful 20 year old girl with Bipolar disorder. She's been doing really well but lately with school and stress, she's been having a pretty tough time. My trouble may be a bit insignificant, but I'm having some problems with one aspect in particular.
I can easily recognize when she's depressed. I think this recognition is a good thing, she seems to respond positively when I understand her feelings. She tells me it helps her feel better when she can vent to an understanding ear. The trouble I've been having is knowing how to speak (literally the tone and volume of my voice) to her when she's depressed. When I speak more quietly or gently than I usually do, she gets upset that I'm talking down to her OR she apologizes to me unrelentingly for what she thinks is "making me upset" (I guess due to my quiet voice she think's she making me upset too). However, if I speak in my normal tone I get the sense that she's upset that I'm not paying attention to her problems. Speaking in my normally happy voice just seems unnatural when my love is crying on the other end.
Any unique suggestions to help me?
I can easily recognize when she's depressed. I think this recognition is a good thing, she seems to respond positively when I understand her feelings. She tells me it helps her feel better when she can vent to an understanding ear. The trouble I've been having is knowing how to speak (literally the tone and volume of my voice) to her when she's depressed. When I speak more quietly or gently than I usually do, she gets upset that I'm talking down to her OR she apologizes to me unrelentingly for what she thinks is "making me upset" (I guess due to my quiet voice she think's she making me upset too). However, if I speak in my normal tone I get the sense that she's upset that I'm not paying attention to her problems. Speaking in my normally happy voice just seems unnatural when my love is crying on the other end.
Any unique suggestions to help me?
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mudhound
11-07-2006, 11:05 PM
Welcome to the boards. You seem to be seeking the truth. Well, if your gifted enough to see depression you will do fine in a normal conversation. You are in the correct place too. There are thousands of VERY good people here.
blankets
11-08-2006, 01:32 AM
Hi there, I'm not really answering your question, but I'm probably around your age, dating a man with BP in his 20s....I am interested to see some of the responses you get, as I am in a relatively new relationship and still learning the basics :)
MSLAINIE
11-08-2006, 03:44 AM
Hi Format,
My Son Is Bipolar. He Is Only 15 3/4 But We (i Am His Mom) Have Been Finding Our Way To Communicating. He Is Doing Great And Gets Like Your Girlfriend. I Have Been In Your Position. My Son Who Talks Alot To Me Told Me Sometimes There Is No Right Way. So I Try To Be Myself And We Take Day By Day. If He Gets Really Down Or Mad He Does Figure It Out And Will Come Back And Talk To Me.
My Son Doesnt Seem To Get Depressed Since He Is Stable On His Meds He Takes Depakote And Abilify.
It May Be She Needs To See Her Doctor To Help Her Depression I Found With My Son That Was A Sign His Meds Needed To Be Changed.
Good Luck & Welcome To Boards,
Mslainie
My Son Is Bipolar. He Is Only 15 3/4 But We (i Am His Mom) Have Been Finding Our Way To Communicating. He Is Doing Great And Gets Like Your Girlfriend. I Have Been In Your Position. My Son Who Talks Alot To Me Told Me Sometimes There Is No Right Way. So I Try To Be Myself And We Take Day By Day. If He Gets Really Down Or Mad He Does Figure It Out And Will Come Back And Talk To Me.
My Son Doesnt Seem To Get Depressed Since He Is Stable On His Meds He Takes Depakote And Abilify.
It May Be She Needs To See Her Doctor To Help Her Depression I Found With My Son That Was A Sign His Meds Needed To Be Changed.
Good Luck & Welcome To Boards,
Mslainie
MSLAINIE
11-08-2006, 03:44 AM
Hi Format,
My Son Is Bipolar. He Is Only 15 3/4 But We (i Am His Mom) Have Been Finding Our Way To Communicating. He Is Doing Great And Gets Like Your Girlfriend. I Have Been In Your Position. My Son Who Talks Alot To Me Told Me Sometimes There Is No Right Way. So I Try To Be Myself And We Take Day By Day. If He Gets Really Down Or Mad He Does Figure It Out And Will Come Back And Talk To Me.
My Son Doesnt Seem To Get Depressed Since He Is Stable On His Meds He Takes Depakote And Abilify.
It May Be She Needs To See Her Doctor To Help Her Depression I Found With My Son That Was A Sign His Meds Needed To Be Changed.
Good Luck & Welcome To Boards,
Mslainie
My Son Is Bipolar. He Is Only 15 3/4 But We (i Am His Mom) Have Been Finding Our Way To Communicating. He Is Doing Great And Gets Like Your Girlfriend. I Have Been In Your Position. My Son Who Talks Alot To Me Told Me Sometimes There Is No Right Way. So I Try To Be Myself And We Take Day By Day. If He Gets Really Down Or Mad He Does Figure It Out And Will Come Back And Talk To Me.
My Son Doesnt Seem To Get Depressed Since He Is Stable On His Meds He Takes Depakote And Abilify.
It May Be She Needs To See Her Doctor To Help Her Depression I Found With My Son That Was A Sign His Meds Needed To Be Changed.
Good Luck & Welcome To Boards,
Mslainie