sad song
11-09-2006, 07:37 PM
do you ever realize that you're being annoying because no matter how much you try you can't stop talking about something, whatever you're currently obsessing about, and you sense others' frustration with you so you just stop hanging out with people? That's what I've done, I used to be so social and now im mostly a loner and it continues this vicious cycle.
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purplegirl1
11-09-2006, 08:14 PM
do you go for therapy? Are you on meds? Being alone is ok sometimes but if now you being alone b/c of the OCD you should seek some professional help..
Psychobabble
11-09-2006, 11:46 PM
Hi Sad Song,
Yes, I have done that many times before. I always thought I was just the loner type, but now I realize that my OCD might have something to do with it. I was a loner all through high school and as an undergraduate. I definitely wanted to be around people, but like you said, I would get stuck on something and talk about it all the time and that would push people away from me. Also, whenever I would form a close friendship I would find something to obsess about in that regard and it just made me not want to be around people because I knew I'd find something about that to obsess over. So while my OCD tends to push people away it also is somewhat of a defense mechanism.
However, I have come to realize over the past year and a half that it is my OCD that contributes to my tendency to isolate myself. Since I realize it, I can now stop it from knocking me over when it comes to being social. I don't let it overtake me and I'm much more social now (and I have an amazing group of girls I spend time with...they are fellow graduate students).
One more thing, some of my closest friends know about my OCD and have stuck by me through everything. They support me through the rough times and also let me know when I'm becoming isolated. So it also matters what kind of people you associate with. If there are some people who run away from you (especially after only a short period of time) then they don't deserve your friendship.
Don't give up. Don't isolate yourself. Just realize that your OCD affects how you interact with others...when you recognize it you'll be more prepared to control it and not let it take over you. Also, your real friends should be supportive, especially if you tell them what's up and what you're going through. Also, you might benefit from seeing a psychologist...it is amazing how much they can help you deal with the OCD and how it affects your social interactions.
Good luck and keep your head up :-)
Yes, I have done that many times before. I always thought I was just the loner type, but now I realize that my OCD might have something to do with it. I was a loner all through high school and as an undergraduate. I definitely wanted to be around people, but like you said, I would get stuck on something and talk about it all the time and that would push people away from me. Also, whenever I would form a close friendship I would find something to obsess about in that regard and it just made me not want to be around people because I knew I'd find something about that to obsess over. So while my OCD tends to push people away it also is somewhat of a defense mechanism.
However, I have come to realize over the past year and a half that it is my OCD that contributes to my tendency to isolate myself. Since I realize it, I can now stop it from knocking me over when it comes to being social. I don't let it overtake me and I'm much more social now (and I have an amazing group of girls I spend time with...they are fellow graduate students).
One more thing, some of my closest friends know about my OCD and have stuck by me through everything. They support me through the rough times and also let me know when I'm becoming isolated. So it also matters what kind of people you associate with. If there are some people who run away from you (especially after only a short period of time) then they don't deserve your friendship.
Don't give up. Don't isolate yourself. Just realize that your OCD affects how you interact with others...when you recognize it you'll be more prepared to control it and not let it take over you. Also, your real friends should be supportive, especially if you tell them what's up and what you're going through. Also, you might benefit from seeing a psychologist...it is amazing how much they can help you deal with the OCD and how it affects your social interactions.
Good luck and keep your head up :-)
LisaBob
11-10-2006, 10:54 AM
This is one of my son's symptoms too. It doesn't matter what the subject or audience - he'll turn it into a discussion on roller coasters. Even his reports in school all reflect this.
I must tell you that, in his case, part of this is his Asperger's Syndrome. He spent the last year in "Social Language Therapy." They taught him how to read signals and clues in someone's voice, body language or expression that tells him he's pushing his limits in a conversation. Since this information was processed through a logical part of his brain (rather than the emotional part), he was able to learn it and utilize it tremendously!
It helps if you have people who love and like you who will gently let you know as well.
Even though you feel isloated - you're not. We're with you in spirit!
Lisa
I must tell you that, in his case, part of this is his Asperger's Syndrome. He spent the last year in "Social Language Therapy." They taught him how to read signals and clues in someone's voice, body language or expression that tells him he's pushing his limits in a conversation. Since this information was processed through a logical part of his brain (rather than the emotional part), he was able to learn it and utilize it tremendously!
It helps if you have people who love and like you who will gently let you know as well.
Even though you feel isloated - you're not. We're with you in spirit!
Lisa
steveo23
11-10-2006, 11:41 AM
Sad song
As everyone has said, it will improve. OCD hit me hard during high school, and I lost a lot of friends, either because I was never at at school anymore, or I lost interest in hanging around with my friends due to my problems. At college and work, it changed a lot though. You get better at coping with it as you get older, it's all in the experience. But yeah, it's happened to me.. I've annoyed the hell out of my family and friends before now. Once I branched out though, and made some genuine friends (a few of which are better than a million false friends), it didnt matter so much. Even when I do have an obsessive fit, they treat it more with an amused (maybe even interested?) attitude rather than get fustrated at me. There's a big difference between true friends and those who are not. And if you can learn to think of yourself as your own best friend, you will be fine. You'd be surprised at how many people will want to know you. A lot of it, like the OCD, is in our heads.
And as Lisa said, you're far from alone with it. A million others feel just like you do.
Steve
As everyone has said, it will improve. OCD hit me hard during high school, and I lost a lot of friends, either because I was never at at school anymore, or I lost interest in hanging around with my friends due to my problems. At college and work, it changed a lot though. You get better at coping with it as you get older, it's all in the experience. But yeah, it's happened to me.. I've annoyed the hell out of my family and friends before now. Once I branched out though, and made some genuine friends (a few of which are better than a million false friends), it didnt matter so much. Even when I do have an obsessive fit, they treat it more with an amused (maybe even interested?) attitude rather than get fustrated at me. There's a big difference between true friends and those who are not. And if you can learn to think of yourself as your own best friend, you will be fine. You'd be surprised at how many people will want to know you. A lot of it, like the OCD, is in our heads.
And as Lisa said, you're far from alone with it. A million others feel just like you do.
Steve
my2babies
11-10-2006, 03:22 PM
I do the same exact thing. Like my wedding for instance. I have been planning my wedding for about 3 months now, I have driven everyone insane over it. When I set my mind to something I cant let it go. Pretty much I obsess over it! My hubby tells me calm down but I cant! Before I didnt understand why I just couldnt let it go and take it day by day instead of being done NOW! But now I do understand. Thank god for this board!
brook65
11-12-2006, 06:38 PM
do you ever realize that you're being annoying because no matter how much you try you can't stop talking about something, whatever you're currently obsessing about, and you sense others' frustration with you so you just stop hanging out with people? That's what I've done, I used to be so social and now im mostly a loner and it continues this vicious cycle.
Hi sad song, I may be wrong, but have you ever looked into the possibility of having Asbergers?
They have obsessive tendancies too, and can talk for hours/days etc about one thing.
Just a thought
Hi sad song, I may be wrong, but have you ever looked into the possibility of having Asbergers?
They have obsessive tendancies too, and can talk for hours/days etc about one thing.
Just a thought