Hi there,
This is my first time posting and i hope you'll forgive me if i sound a little abrupt and akward. I have had an eating disorder for what seems like forever. I'm 26 and became anorexic when i was 15... then anorexic and bullemic when i was 17. I've been through several different clinics, hospitals, therapies and support groups with no success or hope in sight for the future. I thought my biggest deterrent would be the health consequences that my eating disorder would eventually induce, but i have already experienced SOME of the side effects 11 years of anorexia and bullemia have caused (loss of menstrual cycle, osteoporosis, digestive problems, irritable bowel syndrome, on and off anaemia, fatigue, dental decay, electrolyte imbalance, hair loss, etc)...and I STILL haven't changed. I was wondering if anyone out there could share some of the health related problems they have experienced. Did your health problems serve as a wake-up call for any of you? WHY CAN'T I CHANGE? I want to get better and don't know how...i want a normal life...i want to have kids one day and don't even know if it will be possible. HELP!!

I was anorexic for a while. I still sometimes think about food a lot and exercise a lot. I feel uncomfortable sometimes if I miss a day of exercising. I've been to therapy for depression also. I sometimes have stomachaches that seem to have no known cause, and the gastroenterologists have not been able to diagnose it well. I've also had 4 surgeries due to urinary tract obstructions, but I doubt those were caused by the anorexia (although they all occurred around the same time). My health problems weren't really a wake up call for me; the therapy helped quite a bit. I really hope things go well for you. Keep trying and persevering - visit different therapists, psychiatrists, etc. And talk to people who are dealing with the same thing you are - like on message forums. I am sure you are not alone. Good luck!


------------------
"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living."
-Gail Sheehy

Just knowing dangers alone cannot cause change. You need accountability and also a counselor or at the very least a best friend in whom you can confide and will always answer honestly. My 2 cents for the day. Amy

[This message has been edited by Zesty (edited 09-19-2003).]

Thanks for responding Sehsun and Amy.
I too have suffered from depression, gastro-intestinal problems and urinary tract infections. I suppose all the damage we are doing to our bodies/minds comes back to us in all sorts of ways. Calling it a double-edged sword doesn't even seem to do justice to all the multiple problems I've experienced since all of this started. I wish I could turn back time and do everything differently. Whether it was just about losing wieght or gaining control...there must have been a better way. I feel so trapped...I want so desperately just to be "normal"; to go through just ONE day without obsessing about food, weight, appearance... and without feeling bloated, tired, ill, etc.
I hope your doing better after your surgeries Sehsun. It sounds like you have had a pretty rought time.
I hear what both of you are saying about therapy....I suppose I just feel like i've been there...done that...nothing left to say. I have been to so many different support groups, psychotherapists, hospitals...and I think I have gained a fairly good understanding of WHY I am the way I am...but i can't seem to ACT on what i know I have to do. Part of me understands that things may get better if I put on weight...the bingeing/purging will be less problematic, my health will improve, relationships, concentration, etc....but gaining weight is just toooo
scary. I feel like if i put on weight...i wouldn't even be myself anymore. It's as if the eating disorder had become my identity.
I can totally relate to the excercising thing too...it is the one thing that always seems to make me feel better.
Anyhow...thanks for your suggestions...maybe i will re-evalute therapy and give it another shot. After all what else have i got to lose?

Goldilocks.