Ok I really want to quit, but fear and withdrawals are scaring me to death and not being able to handle all the stress in my life. Can you say Cop out!! i have spent the last month beating myself up. I really know I am killing myself with these stupid pills. I have set dates and they went by I have gone to the clinic and asked for help twice. they were unhelpful and unsupportive (I am still trying to figure out if it was me) they were just cold and uncaring. I am in a lot of pain and even though I don't want someone to baby me I just wanted someone to be a little kind and not so judgemental. Anyway heres whats on my plate I have a 17 year old son who is out of control, he just got caught shoplifting (1st offense), we went to his PO and she is keeping him on probation till he's 18. Not because of shoplifting but because he is out of control he is drinking, having physical fights with his dad, runs away and comes back like its nothing, disrespectful gets in my face and screams and yells and breaks things, and he's not even keeping a C average to play football. This was a kid who was a athlete for years, rambuncious (sp) but a fairly good kid never a A student, but he tried. Then I find out my mom has inoperable Lung Cancer and has about 2 months to live. My sister is striking out at me because she's angry about my mom, and my sister has become extremely religious lately and feels she need to cram this down everyones throat. I have been spiritual all my life I have a relationship with God I don't need her just cuz she finally found God to cram it down my thoart and everyone elses. Also we had a huge fight because she believes her religion is the only one I have friends of various religions and we talk about it and respect each others religions. Sorry I am venting. I just had knee surgery on the 18th of last month, I am still in pain but I know for my own sanity, I need to get off these pills. I know I need to stop but my mind says no I hope someone can give me some insight. I have been on Vikes for 5 years right now I am on 15 - 20 5/500 a day. Does anyone know any other sites I can look on to get help.
Thanks,
Laurie:confused:

What pills are you taking? When you are ready, you will stop. When you've had "enough" you will stop. If your life revolves around the pills, you need to stop. Have you tried pain management? There are so many options out there for you true pain. But if you're abusing, it will only get worse. Your life will never be all OK. At least mine isn't. I am a mom of a 21 yr old who has had addiction. and is now clean. It will be hard. Yes it will. but you can do it. There are so many on this board who have done it and they will tell you it is not easy. Son sounds like he needs some help too. He will also get worse as he gets older. Anger management maybe? Does he take drugs? I know when my son took xanax for a high...4-5 bars at a time, he treated me terrible. He got into trouble with law every time he took them. Made him a person you would not like. Have you drug tested him? Just a thought. Keep posting and we are all here for you..............prayer and a will to do it will get you through....anything..........best of luck...and many hugs!!!!:angel:

Laurie, I'm so sorry to see all that you're going through. Hang in there. I don't have an addiction but my husband is an alcoholic and life for my daughters and me was very difficult. My older daughter turned to drugs and I nearly lost her due to her eating disorder. At times she behaved much like your son, and at the same age. She too was arrested for shoplifting when she was out of control. I got her into counseling for her eating disorder which did help but she spent her 18th birthday in a hospital and I was terrified she would just check herself out and disappear. I don't know what turned things around for her but she said it was when she finally realized how much she was hurting me. She looks back now (she's 27) with such regret at the person she had been and the things she had done. I tell her instead to be proud of the person she has become. Maybe you and your son could go to counseling together and you could tell him that it's something you need to deal with what's going on in your life. That's how I had to approach it with my daughter anyway, if I told her I thought she needed help she never would have gone. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Hey there and welcome to the board. You are in a good safe place here. It’s a good thing that you can see through the fog and want to quit. I’m sure you are at the point that I was. Not getting that feel good feeling anymore. If you do, it is short lived. Just taking the pills in order to feel “normal”. Well, its time that you seek help for this. I tried to set dates to quit as well. You have a right to be scared about the w/d. I’m sure you have gone a few hours or days without pills and prob felt like you wanted to die-It’s miserable. There is some good news for you. If you really want to quit-You can do it. I’m living proof as well as other members on this site. If at all possible, I would get on the phone and start calling detox centers in your area or others close enough for you to get to. There are good places out there that will help you. I found mine in the phone book. It was a 4 day detox and I never felt sick. The gave me subutex in order to help with the w/d. Let me know your thoughts.

Thank you all so very much. Your words of encouragement were heart felt. Your responses were a real blessing, you all made me feel for a couple of minutes that I can really do this. Thats longer than I have felt in 5 years. thanks so much for your help.

:angel: Thank you.