I've had an eating disorder 4 about a yr i got help at about 9 months into it n have been seein a therapist ever since... it helps n all but i'm 13 n i'm scared. muh family alwayz tells me that i jus feel sry for muhself 2 much. Is this depression? wut should i tell my therapist?? i havnt really been thinkin bout killin muhselv to much cuz i'm a christian and all but i jus need a way out. what do i do?? i dont want to b on any medication for it because it will let my parents down and it will prove that my life is crap and muh friends (n enemies) lives r better than mine. I just dont get it. It will also prove that they are stronger people than me bcuz they dont need meds to deal w/ their problems and i would. but right now meds seem like a good way to go... are they expensive?? i have about 3 more appts left w/ muh therapist untill our insurance doesnt cover it anymore, and money IS an problem... well sort of ... my moms a teacher and muh dad got let go and is still lookin 4 a job. so... wut do i do?? i really still need those appts especially since school started. i feel like such a weak person... what do i do?? my therapist says my self esteem is way down there... and we need to work on it... i'm really scared of what will happen wen i stop seein her and i dont think i'm ready but muh mom wasnt thrilled to hear that i couldnt deal w/ muh prolem by muhselv to begin w/... so i doubt she'll pay for them... i'll feel so guilty if she does have to pay n muh sis dont need them...she never has and she's a lot better than me.... wut do i do?? plz reply soon

also... all this has kinda interfered w/ school work i guess... c i've been havin trouble focusing on school work... all i can think about is what has been going on... whether its gettin in a fight w/ a friend... or something that my friends did or something at home ore... nething... i am a good reader but it takes me forever now because my mind wanders so easily... is that any part of depression where you cant focus on easy tasks? i have been doing homework for a while and never struggled this much w/ it... is this part of anything... or jus me being me?



[This message has been edited by IceSktnChik2046 (edited 09-20-2003).]

hey,
in my experience depression always comes along w/an ed. you should definitely tell your therapist if u have been feeling this way, esp. if u are thinking of killing yourself . . . your family must not understand the hell u r goin through if they say that u are feeling sorry for yourself too much. u r not "feeling sorry about yourself too much," u r just really depressed & i think meds would help a lot. ive seen a lot of my friends get better w/meds. & insurance usually covers most of it, although it depends on the insurance. can u seriously talk to your parents & try to make them understand that u need the appointments & meds? or have your therapist do it for u?

this isnt a problem that u should have to deal w/by yourself!! if u feel that u r letting your parents down by taking meds--dont! cuz if u dont try the meds, u will probably be letting yourself down. & dont think that u will be on the meds forever, cuz once they work, u go off them & things continue to go well.

good luck & im praying for u!

thank you so much for the replys ... i'll b checkin back lata 2 so keep postin ppl

HI icesktnchik2046

NO matter what anyone tells you. There is someone that will never leave you, You said that you are a christen person. Maybe if you take your troubles to him it might help. I understand about feeling bad about your self. Life is not easy for any of us.That is why we need to keep our trust in god.Please don't do anything to hurt your self, no matter how much you think it will help.There are times that i hate my self and don't wan't to go on but i keep going,My life has been hell since day 1, I was abounded when i was very young got put in a forster home nice parents i call them my parents they are the ones who rised me, But i blame my self for my birth parents leaving my sisters and brothes and I, But i go to god when i start feelinf all alone and it helps. So please don't hurt you self.
You are still so young. There are hot lines that you can call when you start feeling like you wan't to hurt your self.You can find the numbers in the phone book. Or if you have a best friend that you can call or go out with. Just remmber there are people out there that do care. I hope i have been of some help.

TAKE CARE :WAVE:
PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.
Josephine