Well i've lost a couple more pounds and i was happy about that but then i was at my parents house a couple days ago and my dad asked me to stay for dinner..of course i said no..and then he said "why not? ahh stay and eat and get fat" that made me feel like crap..then i went out shopping w/ my sister yesterday and of course all she talked about the whole time was how she could fit into these veeery small sizes and how she was sooo thin and how awesome that was and then when we were in the store shopping my little sister dropped by for a minute and then left and my older sister asked me if my little sister had lost weight...god am i just being stupid and too sensitive or what? this all bothers me soo much..it makes me feel soo fat and defective compared to all them and i'm sure that's how they look at me..it's so hard..i mean they're always talking about their weight but never mention anything about me..maybe i am the fat one in the family or maybe just the stupid pathetic one..now i think my goal is to lose another 10lbs but i don't know..i'm not sure what to do..i keep saying i don't care what happens to me but really i'm so sick of feeling so horrible. why does life have to be like this? why am i such a loser? wow i hope this doesn't sound like a 'pity me' kinda post cause it's not supposed to be.ahhh o.k i'm soo sorry guys if this post sounds really bad..i just really needed to vent..i hope you all understand. I hope you all are doing better.Take care everyone.

Fallen, of course we understand or we wouldn't be on these boards. I hope you feel better and you are not a loser!!

Hi Fallen, I understand your pain. I don't want to eat anymore.

I am 29 and have suffered annorexia since I was 13. It is a real disease and one that will kill you. I know it's easier said than done (been there, done that) but you must realize that everyone is different and no matter how big or small you are a beautiful person. Weight may pack on and weight may fall off BUT NOTHING can take away self-esteem and love unless you let it. Please seek help. Life is so much better when you're not worrying about every little calorie and fat gram.

Hey thanks guys for the support..i am seeing a psychiatrist and am on meds but the last time i saw him (a couple weeks ago) he gave my phone#'s of some therapists that i should call..so i'm trying to work up the courage to call them but i just haven't found the guts to take that step..i guess i just needed to vent and get it out of me..i'm gonna keep workin on it but i'm deathly scared of asking for help and so it's extremely hard for me to make that call..it probobly makes me sound really weak and pathetic but i can't help it that's how i feel..anyways thanks again..and take care you guys..you all sound like wonderful people.