i am feeling more convicted about my ED in recent days, which is a step up from feeling CONDEMNED.

i am really hoping that as of next tue (the twentyfirst) i am going to put this behind me and start stepping toward freedom. i chose next tue as it is the second anniversary of losing mum, so it is partly in her memory too

i know its going to be bloody hard to turn away from what has been MY LIFE for the past eighteen years, both in terms of my main focus mentally, and my entrenched behaviour patterns.

i often battle severe existential anxiety, and it is partly from this that i am trying to see that this life is but a strand in the tapestry of the eternal, and i dont want to throw away the only chance i have on earth, let alone give any more years to this demon.

if i sound determined and positive i am NOT. i am scared witless that every "normal" meal, every "naughty" food, every ounce, every cm will scare the crap out of me and send me running for my "refuge". but i know i HAVE to keep going.

i am really terrified what my setpoint may be, and this is ALWAYS my hurdle, but also know that there will never be freedom unless i take the huge step of submitting to my bodys natural weight.

so here i sit, anxious, terrified, worried, stressed, fearful, but also a small glimmer of excitement and hope, that soon my life will be gently steering toward the right path, not veering further off course.

Your words are very inspirational! :) Good luck to you and I hope this inspired others too.

wow, it sure inspired me what a great way to feel. i hope you can put this behind you too!! i want to feel this way too, and on dec 1 when i can finally see a therapist(insurance wouldnt cover me before) i hope i feel the same, lets get rid of ed, he ruins lives!!!

Afternoon all,

I am still a fellow sufferer of an ED. There is definite positivity within your thread presson. My words to you are proceed with caution. Be ever mindful where you are in your recovery process. Set small goals and work your way to the bigger ones. You're feeling all the emotions at once is quite normal.

Might I suggest one more thing before embarking on this journey to recovery; write down the very words that you described: "anxious, terrified, worried, stressed, fearful". After each feeling, write down the motivator that makes you feel this way. This will help you gain more insight into your inner self, which is a key tool, in the event that you ever feel overwhelmed while on that path.

Take care and God Bless.Love and respect,forthemasses only.