Hi everyone,
I'm on like day 11 of detoxing from ultram. I mean it's almost been 2 weeks since my last pill. The physical stuff, flu, etc is all gone, but the anxiety is horrible! Is this commom when recovering from addiction of opiates or similar meds? (Ultram attaches to the same receptors so I think the detox is similar). I am depressed too but the anxiety is almost more debilitating. I have been self-medicating on and off w/alcohol which is a quick fix for a few hours but I know it's making it worse in the long run. Today I will make a real effort to stay with the xanax and not drink at all. I am going to try this for a week.
Please send vibes of strength my way. I get so anxious by the end of the day it's so easy to justify the drink and I KNOW it's the worst thing for me.
I feel stuck in an awful cycle. This, after having gotten away from the ultram...just doesn't feel like much of a reward for my efforts. Yeah I know...a bit of a pity party here, but I just want the madness to stop!
Thanks for listening.
Minn

Hey Minn, Please don't forget what you have done. You are beating this thing and are doing great!!! Have you talked to a physician about this? You aren't alone. Keep it up.

Hi Tim,
No I haven't yet. I am thinking I need to get an appt w/a psychiatrist. I have horrible insurance so it's not really in my budget but this just seems to be going on forever.
Minn

Hey Minn, It would prob be worth it to get some help with the anxiety. Does your insurance cover ER visits? I would consider going in there. They have psych people that can help you.

MsMinn,

After all I went through getting off the hydros, my anxiety is on and off still. I've been treated for anxiety for a few years, but the psychiatrist said the alcohol if the elephant in the room for me. That just means it's obvious that, perhaps, everyone (my docs, including me) are working to find why I am still so anxious, even with the anti-anxiety meds, and she wants me to address the alcohol. I don't drink a lot, but I do use it to relax. So, I guess they may have a point. My body every day is fighting to be healthy. The alcohol may not not seem like a large amount, but then I don't eat right, get dehydrated, etc. I do feel better when I dont drink, work out, drink water, and eat at least three meals. It's all biology/physiology sometimes. Don't freak yourself out too much. I guess we both have to think about eliminating everything except the healthy stuff and see where we are at square one. No alcohol, no drugs, eating healthy, exercing..ugh, I know, but I know that what I want to do is to start from where I was years ago and then I can weed through what I am not tolerating well. Who knows, maybe eventually I'll be back to normal. I hope you keep on pushing through this. I try to educate myself, even if I can't practice all of it, and then at least I can challenge my docs and myself to figure out how to feel better.

Let me know how you do this week. I go back to my therapist tomorrow and I am dreading the "elephant in the room" speech again!

Lisa

Minn: Alot of people that get off of opiates and I agree with you ultram,tramadol ect act on the same receptors and should be schedualed as an opiate.Anyway you're suffering from PAWS (Post Accute Withdrawl Syndrome) this is because your endorphen production is not up to par and you feel lousy.Alot of times welbutrin will help with this.Can you see your doctor about this.All drinking does is takes up spaces in the gabba receptors which have nothing to do with opiates and more to do with benzo's so drinking is just going to make you more depressed.Hang in there your beatin it.....Dave:)

Thanks everyone,
Today is day one day shy of 2 weeks of kicking the ultram to the curb. I went to a meeting last night...not the "regular kind", but it was recovery based and the topic was depression and anxiety. I felt so lucky...like someone was truly looking out for me to get me to that place on that day.
There were other people there having depression and anxiety issues too that were WD from opiates. It was just nice to hear others talk about it and then a certified counselor explain that our bodies are healing and re-learning how to handle things again, in a non-drug induced state. I agree with you Lisa, and Dave, that alcohol is definitely NOT the answer. I was just looking for the "quick fix" I guess. My goal is to stay sober today. That is my intention.
If I need to take xanax to function, so be it.
Minn

p.s. Dave I am already on Lexapro.

pps. LisaV. How'd it go w/the therapist and the elephant?:)

MsMinn,

Thankfully, the elephant didn't come up! She is so great, my therapist. She said my times with her should never cause more anxiety than I already have. We talked a lot today about focusing on things that are not related to any substance issues, the ones that make me feel grounded and safe. Simple things, like a good smell (peanut butter, ground coffee, etc.) whatever puts the mind at ease. It's different for everyone. For her it's lavender, which gives me a headache. But at least we are working on positive things and not all about "what's wrong with me". We did talk a bit about alcohol, but she listened when I said it was not the major issue in my life, just a crutch at the end of the day when I didn't know how else to relax. Anyway, I'm happy it's two weeks for you and keep going! My god, it just can't possibly last forever with this crud, so if we keep trying to get better it should happen. It will; we were there once before, so it's attainable.

Lisa