I feel like I need to have a set diet for everyday and that is the only way I have a chance of being normal. I am so sad. If I give myself any choice - its always the wrong choice.

[This message has been edited by Citykittie (edited 10-03-2003).]

I know exactly what you mean. I've been thinking of getting a meal plan for me or something like that whcih I absoulutly must follow. Because right now all I'm doing is saying no and throwing out food etc... but I want to stop. Maybe that's one way?

I know exactly what you mean, I am just nowing making it over the highest hikll of anorexia. I was sent to Arizona for treatment for a couple months about 3 years ago. Then, after returning home, I was so fearful of having to do it on my own. So, up until June this year, I ate the exact same thing, the exact same time, EVRY single day. I would not change brands, or anything, and if for some reason, I could not eat at exactly the same time, I would FREAK... It would terrify me. I dont know why, and I dont really know what clicked, but something did, now I am trying to eat more normal. It is still so VERY hard, and I am struggling but I know that this is not where I want to be. I want freedom from ED, and try to keep that my focus.

I have the same problem. I feel i need to be on a set schedule, and have a set amount of food given to me, and i need to be watched.

Hi Duck - I visit this board every now and then, and I noticed you mentioned you were in treatment in Arizona a couple of years ago. I was also in treatment in Arizona, at Remuda, a little while ago. I know there are a couple of ED treatment facilities in Arizona, and I was wondering if you were at RR...maybe our stays overlapped? If you were somewhere else, what did you think of it? I hope you're doing ok...it's hard after leaving treatment...everyone expects you to be "fixed" after spending a couple of months inpatient...it's definitely a long process!