Hey everyone! So, I am having this dilemma and hoping someone could help me understand this. Basically, I am not sure if I am slipping back into my eating disorder behaviors or not.

Yes, I am preoccupied with food and body image, but is that necessarily a bad thing? I am no longer skipping meals or aiming towards a dangerously low weight. I am, however, obsessed about my food intake. I do engage in certain dieting rituals, but I am having a difficult time understanding if this is unhealthy or not. When does choosing carrots over brownies or water over coke cross the line into disordered eating???

Thank you

Hey everyone! So, I am having this dilemma and hoping someone could help me understand this. Basically, I am not sure if I am slipping back into my eating disorder behaviors or not.

Yes, I am preoccupied with food and body image, but is that necessarily a bad thing? I am no longer skipping meals or aiming towards a dangerously low weight. I am, however, obsessed about my food intake. I do engage in certain dieting rituals, but I am having a difficult time understanding if this is unhealthy or not. When does choosing carrots over brownies or water over coke cross the line into disordered eating???

Thank you

When it takes up too much of your thoughts during the course of a day. Instead of thinking of it like that, just be like "im gonna eat healthy, ill just have these carrots instead of cake" and leave it at that:)

OHh I could never pass up brownies for carrots. I am OWNED. lol Though I wish I could learn how!

Hi K-2005,

I feel like I am in the exact same position as you. I am in recovery for my eating disorder - I did a 12 week outpatient program this past summer - and I am feeling good about my weight and eating, but I am definitely still obsessed with certain things and tend to have A LOT of thoughts about food and exercise throughout the day. I have to admit that I am not 100% free from ED.

I feel guilty sometimes if I don't exercise, I can't bring myself to indulge without feeling like a cow, and I often choose food options based on fat and calories and not simply on taste. I think those are all remnants of my eating disorder, but if i am not at a dangerously low weight and I am not as depressed as I used to be, is it a problem?

I do feel like it IS sort of a problem b/c the fact that I even have to think about it or feel bad about it for one minute out of the day is not ok. However, I don't see how I can change that. Are you at a normal weight for your height? I believe I am, but I am still not getting my period. I just want to be able to enjoy life (and a cupcake!) without feeling like I am completely out of control. I've loosened up the reigns tremendously, but I haven't completely let go yet....

There are times I still feel guilty after eating a sweet, and I don't understand why. Usually anymore it doesn't bother me; but then when it does, I get out the journal and write of why my emotions are bothering me. It normally has something to do with another issue that is not related to food- which is odd. Emotional eating maybe?

It took me a while for my period to get back to normal. It was messed up for a very long time. Then on top of it, I developed endometriosis- and that was a mess too. Yuck. My body was so messed up in my 20's. I did a number on myself.

Have a nice afternoon and evening. Got to run. My boys will be out of school soon. Take care of yourselves ladies. Remember- the scale is not an enemy, and it is not something that should rule you. Right? Do not allow that to happen, and ruin your evening or day. Be in control of yourself, and gain some self-respect today. Take back your true self and do not let that ED take you away from yourself. :)

Hugs :angel:

Coffeegirl

I have been recovered for about 3yrs...by recovered I mean I it's taken me 3 yrs to get to the weight I am at now which is my pre eating disorder weight. I'm not thrilled about it but I know it is in a healthy range. I still think about dieting and restricting though I do not do it and I always think about exercising and how to loose weight. I don't think these are things that will ever go away it's just tatooed on my brain. I am good with allowing myself to eat now and I don't feel as guilty as I did in the begining though the exercise is where I really feel guilty, I don't think I do it enough, or hard enough I think if I ate healthier and exercised more I could weigh less and still be in a healthy range etc. It would be nice if one day I just woke up and made it back to bed without thoughts of calories, fat, exericse, my old body, my old clothes but that may just be a dream. It's very hard for me to stop my "use to be's" I'm constantly thinking I use to fit those jeans, I use to not eat as much, I use to exercise more, I use to look better, I use to have more control. I'm just trying to learn to live with it. I stepped on the scale this morning for the first time in about a month, which is pretty good considering I use to weigh myself about 4 times a day that is how I know I am my pre anorexic weight......todays not a good day:( But what can I do? I'm going to the gym after work and I"ll try and eat a healthy dinner then I will sit with my husband (only been married 3 weeks) and remind myself why I need to be healthy.....just to put in in perspective I've gained 46lbs ouch eh? Hard to beleive even for me. Oh and I still don't have my period back yet haven't had it since like 1998 which is a little scary as I begin to think about wanting children....I feel very selfish and guilty about my eating disorder and worried that I will basically be "punished" by not being about to have kids..I don't know how I will forgive myself if what I did to myself caused too much damage.