Hi

I'm sure you've all heard my story by now. I've been drinking beer off and on for years now, had various relapses, etc. My last binge was 3 days ago when I drank 8 beers and woke up the next morning feeling sick, disoriented, dizzy, loads of anxiety and panic, electric shock feelings in my head, surreal feeling like the floors/walls were moving, crazy feelings in my head, etc. Very scary and it had been getting worse and worse over the months so that I could'nt even drink one beer with feeling absolutely horrible (like I was going to die) for several days thereafter. Alcohol intolerance I assume.

Anyway, it's been 3 days now and I feel sort of weak, fatigued, lethargic, unmotivated, sleepy, fuzzy-headed and generally "unhealthy". My stomach has also been upset, I have been waking up too early each morning and my eyes feel buggy and unfocused. I just feel like crap but my next drink could very well be a death sentence. I just can't handle alcohol anymore. I've slept on the floor for 3 days now with my dog (and I have allergies) and each morning I get up I take an Ativan witch makes me very sleepy and lethargic too. Maybe it's a combination of things that contribute to the way I feel or maybe most of it is PAWS symptoms.

My question is this. Does what I've described above sound like normal alcohol withdrawl, PAWS or something else and how much longer before I feel well again?. Anything I can do to speed up my recovery?. I keep hearing people talking about how "great" they felt after they got sober and how they were "floating on a pink cloud", etc. I feel cheated. Where's MY "pink cloud"?. I've been sober for 3 days now so why aren't I dancing the Irish jig in the streets with a big clown-smile on my face?.

PS: I'm taking Campral in addition to Ativan and Atarax for sleep (sometimes)

- Thanks, NoFunInSuds (and NO, there IS no "fun in suds"!!)

You will get better your body is detoxing itself right now lots of juice and water will help you. Good luck I think you have been here b4. Plus I wouldnt mix benzos with booze as that could be you next death sentence. Good luck to you get to a meeting or an online support group. Good luck Kim

First of all, thank you for the reply.

Ok, my latest issue is this: I'm on the evening of my fourth day without alcohol and although it's been a very slow climb up that big mountain of sobriety, I have been feeling just a tiny bit better each day.

Late this afternoon was when I felt like my brain chemicals were begining to normalize and I actually began to feel pretty good and like my old self again. Then the evening came and the cravings began raging within me beyond belief. While these cravings were going on, I also felt like I was on speed. My mind was racing, I felt really jittery (as if I'd just drank a whole pot of expresso), I was talking a mile-a-minute and I almost felt like I was "racing" too fast. I wasn't sure if this was normal for people going through the later stages of withdrawal or not but I do know that about 10 years ago when I went off Xanax for a few days I felt the same way (mind racing, felt like I was on speed, like a nervous junkie wanting a "fix" real bad, etc). So is this all normal for alcohol withdrawal on day 4?.

Anyway, I took a Campral and a 1/2 mg of Ativan to calm/slow me down a little bit and now I feel like I've come back down to earth again.

So what's the deal here with me?

- Regards, No Fun In Suds

That might have been a little anxiety caused from the w/d's I know with the vic's I did have some anxiety and felt off keel. Thats great 4 days and hopefully tomorrow will be 5 and so on and so on. Thats great that you keep trying though. Good luck and best wishes. Kim

Yeah it takes awhile to get out of your system and normalize your body. I heard from an addictions counselor on Monday that it can take up to 2 years for the alcoholic brain to recover from pre-drinking days. Makes sense that your body needs to adjust. It sure sucks though doesn't it?
How long have you been taking the Campral? Does it have side effects? Is it helping with the cravings?
Hang in there...it's worth it to keep going!
Minn

Thank's again. What a great bunch of people here and I don't think I could find this level of support anywhere else. I'm on day 5 now and going strong but it almost feels like I'm suffering from delayed withdrawal symptoms because the cravings didn't start until 4 whole days after I stopped drinking. Plus, this morning I knelt down to put some laundry on the floor to be washed and all of a sudden I got this frightening sensation that my foot/leg wasn't there. We do have "soft spots" in the floor in various places so perhaps I stepped on one and that's what caused the sensation but I'm not sure. Can detox play with your mind like that and cause wierd sensations/feelings?

PS: I've been on Campral for 4 days now and yes it helps with cravings quite a bit as well as that feeling like you "want to drink to make the crappy feelings go away" and with no side effects (that I have experienced - so far).

- Thanks again for all your helps guys/gals!

Well leave it that u stepped on a soft spot and dont try to over annalyze it. That alone will drive you nuts. Day 5 is wonderful you can do it. You body is still going through w/d's. For me they didnt really hit hard til day 3. Someone once put it like this, its your body throwing a temper tantrum trying to get what it wants. Dont give in to the tantrum and it will eventually stop. You body will adjust to not having a substance in it and you feel alot better about life and yourself. So keep up the good work. You can do it this time. What about meetings? I think they will really help you to talk to people who have been through what your going through. You dont have to talk just listen and take it all in. Your doing great. Kim

Hey Nofuninsuds,
I think it's really normal to have stronger cravings at around day 3 or 4. I mean, you are probably feeling a little better and your old addicted brain wants to celebrate with a "sudsy one" right? This has happened to me a lot in my years of struggling with this issue. You have to just keep going. Remember that this is a journey and each day will bring a new opening for a new way of living. I know it's scary. I quit for a year and at times I felt like I was driving up a mountain and I didn't know what was on the other side. Had no idea if gettting to that peak was going to be worth it. Well, it was and it will be again. I struggle w/this beast too and I'm here with you.
Way to go on riding the waves of uncertainty!
Minn

I am so dissapointed in myself and so sad. After going almost 5 days without a drop of alcohol, yesterday evening I drank almost a whole case of beer.

I spent much of yesterday putting up new panelling in the bedroom and when it was all over and done with, the cravings began to kick in again and I was thinking "wow, it sure would be nice to be able to relax after a hard day's work with a few icey cold beers". This is what always seems to snare me in alcohol's trap...this "I've worked hard, I deserve to relax with a few beers" attitude.

This morning, I woke up staggering around and my head felt soupy. My heart was racing too and I just generally felt "out of it". Now I'm floating around in the Twilight Zone and my head is spinning. I HATE this feeling and it lasts for days sometimes.

I act really nutty when I get drunk too. One time I'm Superman and another time I'm a space alien from the planet Zebulon-5 who has come to rescue the earthlings. One time I got drunk, put a pet carrier (containing my pet goose along with pine shavings) in the bathtub, turned the shower on and climbed in with my cloths on and hollered for my room mate to "rescue" me. He came inside to find me soaking wet and I pretended to be a "submarine training drill seargent" and was barking orders at him to "save" me and had him hoist me out and put an ace bandage on my "injuries", etc. What a crazy night that was. Each binge brings a different "trip".

I have to get sober again. Today can be day 1# for me all over again if I can just stay away from this evil stuff. I'm not an AA person so it's going to have to be support groups like this one, lots of prayer and Campral that keeps me from drinking again. Thank you for allowing me to share and thank you all for your support!.

- Regards, NoFunInSuds

How bad do you really want to stop? After all of this happening to you, what is going to be your breaking point? I did the same thing you did, but I didn't drink beer, I drank brandy, a fifth in a day and my breaking point was when I felt my body outside of myself after drinking close to a half gallon in one night. I never want to be in that place again so I have chosen not to take another step in that direction because I want it bad, bad enough to not take my celebrations farther than apple juice or ice cream and a movie. It took me nearly dying to get to this point so I am reaching out to you to just let yourself enjoy life without booze, you will feel so much better when you do. This yo yo binging you are on just isn't worth it. You have to ask yourself if you are ready to die because of the drinking and make the choice. I am sorry to be so harsh, but take it from someone else that knows what its like.

i drank 12-14 beers a day for the last 5 years of my drinking carrer (15 TOTAL). the withdrawls were not pretty, thats what it took me. i don't know how much you drink, but try it again and see what happens! your mind wants you dead, but your body just won't die. it took me a long time and many many drunks to figure that out. the sad part was i was the last to know! everyone else i thought i was fooling knew i had a problem but me.
do you know what they call doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? INSANITY!!!aa works IF YOU WANT IT.IF YOUR NOT SURE YOU WANT TO QUIT, DONT BOTHER, THERE WILL COME A DAY WHERE YOU CAN'T PICTURE YOUSELF WITH OR WITHOUT ALCOHOL AND YOU WILL EITHER STOP, DIE, OR GO TO JAIL. BUT YOU WILL QUIT, IT'S UP TO YOU HOW YOU WANT TO DO IT. AND YES THEY HAVE AA IN JAIL TOO. I found a higher power, somthing bigger that me to pray to, i ask for sobriety in the morning and thank my higher pwer at night. good luck

Hi NoFun, it seems to me that you are going to have to get really serious and have some "real" and direct support if you want to get sober! Have you ever been to an AA meeting? If so, let me tell you that if you didn't like that one you could try another as the meetings are not all the same, regarding certain formats etc.

If you continue in this way you will have to "White Knuckle," it each time for as long as possible and that's not fun; I've tried that way my self. 6 years ago I didn't think AA was for me after visiting a couple of meetings, I thought I was strong enough to beat this problem; but then a reached a place of utter despair and remember the friendly folk in AA, who seemed so sure of that they could stay sober and still enjoy life. I'm one of those people now and a couple of months ago I celebrated 5 years sobriety :-)

I wish you in your search for sobriety and I must say that one thing that is most important is that you are now looking at how to get sober; too many people never get there and the rest of the storys not nice........