How is everyone? Flintrock, your son, did he find work yet? Is he still doing good? Kim, update please, how are you doing? Sadmum? Happy Dude are you still with us? Chef, where are you? Are you monitoring the boards still? Miss you and your support so much.

Well my story is basically the same, son showed up last night (we kicked him out for two weeks, Friday would have been two weeks). Showed up hungry, dirty, broke and sick. He had been sleeping in his car because he ran out of money. We let him in and told him last time (oh, gosh I sound like a broken record) and I very unemotionally told him what he had to do to stay welcome. This time I made sure I got answers and he understood what I said before I went on to what else I expected from him. I don't know each time he gets kicked out, it gets harder on him, you think he would learn. I know he doesn't like it out there.

Only time will tell. He was just happy not to be bathing in a sink, take a hot shower and sleep in a real bed. If he was expecting sympathy, I don't feel that for him anymore and told him so, saying that was the choice he made.

He has till January to get his act together and back in school otherwise it is the military/street.

Hmmmm, just never ends does it?

Love to all, I call you all my support group :) cram315 (taking an overnighter tomorrow for some R&R, talk to you all on Friday - hope all is well.)

just got home from 4 day hospital stay..i have chronic obstructive pulminary disease...mass on left/right lungs with a slight right atlectasis(collapse)..have un manageable pain in my right bicep and my oxygen levels are runnin low at 88...meaqns i need to be on o2 at night or when i run out of the airy stuff...weezing is starting to go away...it was bad 2 months ago with pneumonia and never recovered....dont know what i am goin to do here for future.....i bought a camper so i can have someplace to live...landlord is a jerk...floor is like a rolller coaster..building is old and he has not done any repairs in 4 years...wants to raise rent,but linda and i may stay on a month/month basis...no smokes no more...not even going to try chantix..if i continue to smoke i go up in smoke...love all you guys,god bless....chef

Chef my prayers are still with you. I have a cousin with COPD, she does well with meds and keeps it under control...and so can you....it is manageable, so don't think it's not. Cram, I know what you're feeling. You are doing the right thing. My son is still looking for work. has found a few odd jobs, but still looking. Attitude is good. So, we take it day by day, don't we. Girlfriend graduates from dental hygeine school today, so they say, I'd have to see it to believe it. Now he wants to go to welding school. I said great, I told you to do that 2 years ago.....After fines are paid, do it........not out of my purse though!!

hang tight guys, life will get better!!!!!!!:angel:

:wave: Chef, glad to hear from you buddy. How are they treating your unmanageable pain? Will being on pain meds cause a problem for you, addiction wise? Are there breathing excercises you can do to bring your O2 levels up? Diagnosis right now is not so good, what does doctor feel for the future? (I know I ask a lot of questions but I am concerned) You can look at your trailer as a summer home in Florida :cool:. Some landlords are slumlords, the almighty dollar is what they worship, sad to say. Were you able to return to work? Smoke free! Good.

Flint, a trade is the best thing that could happen to your son. In our state we have Votech schools that have adult programs running at night. Very economical too. If you have them, he should call and see when they have open house. Glad to hear he is doing well. Gives me hope.

Well, all good things must end. Son has slacked on looking for work. Went to GF house Wednesday nite so he could go to her dental hygeine graduation (she needs some hygeine) and has slowly been working on my friend's christmas lights that she will pay him dearly for. Not calling her like he should...came by today after he worked over there for a short while....left with GF. (her mom got her another rental car).....My friend called me and said he was supposed to call her at 4:30 and let her know if he was going to finish up tonight. He said he was. She called him, GF answered and said he's busy but he needs to finish that up because he owes my mom $200 for getting him out of jail. Well, excuse me.....he owes his own mom for more than that!!!!!!!! I called him at 5:30 and GF said, he's asleep!!!!!!!1 I said Asleep at 5:30....what's he been doing...........xanax??????? and she said NO...like I asked a foolish question!!! Idiot!!! Anyway, I said wake him up and put him on the phone....I could hear in the background, she said wake up it's your mom, she said she didn't care if you were asleep....which I never said, but I didnt!!! He didn't get on phone.........so I hung up..........very ticked off........he will def hear from me tomorrow..........I am furious...........back to same old behavior.........lazy!! Maybe no drugs, but lazy don't get it with me.........he's got more fines than he knows what to do with, and sleeping at 5:30 in the afternoon instead of calling around, going by grocery stores, WalMart, whatever, ain't gonna get it. So, I may have to kick him out AGAIN!!!!!:)

Please tell me how old the sons are..im new here..my son is 20 and taking opiates and benzos and sleeps all day up all night..tries to go to school..just lost a job etc....i have 2 smaller kids in the house and cannot tolerate this..we have threatened to put him out on the street and we will..it will kill me to do it..but we cannot sign him into rehab at his age. we live in ny..and he is really not a street smart kinda kid (at least up until now) our world has been turned upside down in a matter of 2 months..we are so broken hearted by this. i know he started taking these pills cause of stress and depression..he is on lexapro for 2 weeks now..but still very depressed...any suggestions at alll?

My son is 21.......been going thru heartache for 3 years. It will kill your soal to kick him out....just sit him down...if he'll listen...and tell him like it is..and stick with it..............no matter what!!!!! They will drag you down with them.:)

My son is 22, we have been going through this for 18 months. There are good days and weeks. I have kicked him out so many times. The kicking out get easier when you realize you are back to square one after you let him move back in and kicking out does have it perks they do learn a little at a time. (Right now he is working long hours but doesn't have any money to show for it, he spends it all and not on bills. If he isn't working during the day, he will sleep the entire day away.)

Sleeping all day is a sign, that you have a problem bigger than you realize. Whether it is depression or drug use, I don't know but it is a warning to you that you and he need help. The earlier you get help, the easier it is.

Originally 18 months ago I thought for six months my sons problems were his xanax prescribed by his psychologist but it was just masking the real problem, other drugs.

Keep us posted.

Flint- doesn't the saying go behind every successful man is a successful woman? Here is where our boys need some serious help. Since I have nothing nice to say about my son right now, I am not going to say anything at all. ;)

cram315

Cram, it all sounds so familiar..he was prescribed klonopins by his pysh..started abusing them..was working 2 part time jobs and going to college full time..stopped paying his bills and started buying xanax and opiads on the street..they are all over the place here in n.y.and very easy to get..anyway we have been doing drug tests and the latest came back neg for everything..he seems remorseful and very sullen and depressed..we did go with him to his psyh. today..he prescribed him mood disorder meds and an anti-depressant..bipolar????anyway,all is ok right now but im terrified to see him come in here high again..he agreed to go into a rehab if it happens again..but the doc did tell us not to put him out into the street he told us to get a lawyer to get a court order to have him put into rehab if this happens again? have you looked into that? or know any info you can share with me? because i know my son and he will not go into a rehab on his own...hes 20 but hes more like a spoiled 16 yr old....

just found out i need major league surgery on my spine...i have things growing on my discs like stalatics...they want to remove as soon as possible,can causee serious damage..got on the whole pain pill thing back in 1990 when i got run over by a golf cart...had back problems...pain is extreme,wish to get off subutex until after surgery and put me on a pill that will remove pain from y arm and chest,,,,infection in lungs is near heart which is causing low o2 levels plus copd..and then still have to deal with masses on both right/lrft lung plus slight collapse of right lung....ton of presssure at wor...swa my youngest daughtet today,stopped by with mom to wish belated b-day...cried realgood after they left...miss my kigs so gosh darn much...kevin

Chef, I just know things are going to work out for you. I feel it. So, please stay positive and stay on this board...I worry when I don't hear from you!!!! Sometimes we get overwhelmed with it all and forget who is really in charge. So, talk to the guy upstairs and ask for healing and help. I know he answers! Believe me, he answers!!!! Your health is going to improve.....I promise!!!

As far as son, who knows. Take one day at a time. My counseling session is Monday and I am ready for it. It makes me feel so much better! Never thought something like this would help ME....cause ME is what I concentrate on now...........:)

Chef let me just say I will be thinking of you! My fiance has the bone spurs running up his entire spine and boy they are painful. If he moves a certain way he is brought to his knees in pain. I feel for you. Just remember that there are lots of things that can help you and you could out live us all! Modern medicine is amazing. Just focus on u and your health dont over do it. Relax when you can.

Jules I'm sorry about your son. I too live in NY upstate. I just got home from canada went to the casino and won the jackpot!!!! That was exciting. I just also want you to be aware as I have been seeing more and more of but dont want to scare you. Alot of my friends enjoyed their pills (opiates) then when they couldnt find those they were introduced to heroin and that just got them off and running. So just keep an eye out for something more that just pills. Not meant to scare you but to educate you. Heroin is easier to find and cheaper too. I have watched highly educated, wealthy, promised future people just fall to the demon of this drug and it all started with pills.

Flint and Cram sounds like you both are now starting to live your lives and letting the kids take care of their own chit. Good for you as I know how hard that is. Its frustrating as you know though when you start living your life around the addict it yours you start to forget about what you like and what you want to do. Since all your actions and thought are around the addict and what they are doing and how you can help them. They will hit their bottom and hopefully they will turn around. As long as you guys are doing good thats all that matters! Easier said than done especially with the holidays coming up. So glad your all doing good and stay strong. Flint good for getting into the counseling that will do you alot of good and will help you alot. (Thats what I'm going to school for). So keep you chins up and have a great day!
Kim

Chef - my best friend has had many, health scares in the past 10 yrs. Diagnoises covering every letter of the alphabet. So we have a deal, things will be ok as long as she isn't diagnosed w/anything that starts w/the letter Q. When she calls me to tell me what is wrong I am always relieved it doesn't start with that damn Q. It has made us laugh when we wanted to cry. So Chef, how about it, you are going to be ok as long as the diagnosis doesn't start with that letter Q ;) . Not good if they want to operate on your spine. I worry about you being put under with your lungs.

Happy to see you, your ex/children are communicating. I know how important it is for you. Work pressure doesn't help, wears out a healthy person, can't imagine what it is doing to you.

Jules, my son was diagnosed with bipoloar. But he isn't being treated right now. Maybe he should be. Good sign your son tested clean. My son was 21 when we put him in rehab. It took us months to convince him. Insurance doesn't pay for rehab for addicts (unless, you are suicidal). We paid for it out of pocket, there is a place in PA that is affordable.

Kim, good news finally! :) Me too! We took an overnight trip to AC to see a holiday show and I won (embarassed to say) a jackpot on the penny slots, $105 (thats 10500 credits, and I enjoyed every bing, bing, bing my slot machine made, lol).

Chef, I need your expertise - my son is getting high again on something, I saw a potholder in his car, I am thinking it is for holding a hot pipe. Why else have a potholder in your car?

Flint my son messed up this weekend. Same argument every time, he works hard so he should be able to do what he wants, he is over 21. Never remembers he isn't paying his bills. Just tired of him.

Hugs to all, Cram315

I'm tired of my son too! He has moved back home, only because he needed to and his girlfriend didn't have a car. Well, her mother has rented her another car............idiot.........so I haven't seen son since Wednesday. I am sure he will come around only when he NEEDS something. I am soooooooo sick of it. I am about ready to kick him out. He has a 2nd charge of marijuana...which is a felony. Not sure of court date yet...they will mail it to him. I told him if he was smart he would not smoke any more...because the court will prob give him a drug test........he hasn't listened....so whatever..........all I can do is offer advice. Can't make him smart........or make the right choice. I think his brain is just damaged. I would be so scared I wouldn't ever touch the stuff again!!!!! Hope they test him and then do whatever......I almost don't care anymore. doesn't help.........:wave:

Cram I had to chuckle myself I thought I won alot on the 2 cent machine I won 13.44!!! I was very excited it looks like alot. Well I did win 505 canadian which was about 435 american so I'm very happy! I'm 435 closer to retiring lol. Well sorry to hear about your son not sure about a pot holder in the car. As the only time I have one in the car is when I have to bring a dish to pass. Might be something to hide things in is it a yarn one? Those are usually bags that hold the pot and bowl. I wish I had more info for you. Kim

just got back from both my doctors today..first thing.......
cram....what is the Q word?....second,i dont know what you mean by pot holder,just asssume he still hasnt come to his senses nor speakin to the lord on straighten his crap out....he musty be usin it to hold something hot and if thats the case hes either smokin crack/opium/pot or ice/methephetamine..drug test him if you wish to put your mind at ease......

thank you from the bottom of my heart for your guys thoughts and prayers...i dont have too many friends,and you guys seem closer to me than ever.....

my doctor friend,doug,who runs a huge rehab center and is a recovering opiate addicts himself,shared his 8 year anniversary a couple weeks back...i saw him today at 11:00...he took me off the subutex and put me on oxycodone for breakthru pain and back on small quantity of methadone until after surgery...then we will re-wean,back to subutex and see where the future takes me...i really do hate taking the opiates but it is under a controlled situation and the pain i have in my right arm bicep area is unbelievable...it has to be the most severe pain i ever had and wish it would leave now...the pain im in across my chest along with the pressure(feels like someone has tied a belt around my chest and are tightening it,click by click)...well that pain is associated with my copd/lungs/infection and mass,but they said also its wrap around pain from my spine...its tolerable,around a solid seven on a scale from 0-10...and then daily i have my lower back pain at my l5 disc thats been there since 1990...when i got hit by a golf cart that was backing up and the bqt waiter driving it didnt know how to drive it properly....a day after the accident,the human resources lady showed up at my house and had me sign some papers...didnt know then but that pc of paper resolved them from any further action by me...i was young anmd didnt know any better...so since then ive had a blown out lower back and thats how the whole opiate thing got started...change of subject...i was so darn happy the other day...sat.nov 11 was my birthday and last year my girls didnt call me...they are 12 and 15...this year my ex had them call and my ex brought out my youngest to see me on sunday....from my heart i cried so bad as they drove away...see how drugs destroy lifes and it starts off so innocencly...the devil is truly evil...but god showed his grace on me by bringing shelby out to see me...it was nice to see my ex too...she cant find it in her heart to forgive me...i asked for forgiveness again when shelby went to the bathroom,but my ex is still so bitter...i did not want a divorce...the bible says so....i still care for them tremendously...i was sad a bit though cause chelsea,my 15 yr old didnjt come out...i live 45 min from them....my drivers license gets reinstated dec 8th....yahoo....hard to breath and i had to return the breathing machine but i have my albuterol inhaler....my doc said that the discs in my neck that are causing the pain look like stalgtites going sideways into my spine...oesteoites i think they are callede...type of bone spur....for you smokers out there,if you could jump into my lungs and chest right now i think youd say to yourself its time to quit smokin..god created us in his image and our bodies are suppose to be his temple...goin home to try to relax for a bit..........thank you to everyone for being here for me...it comes from my heart quite sincerely.....love chef

I dont think there is a disease that starts with a q. I believe that was a joke she used since her friend had every other disease under the sun and survived them. I'm very glad your daughter came out to see you I can tell it really made your day. I understand your dislike for opiates but they are good for pain when used correctly and you Dr knows what hes doing and its supervised. You ex wife if still angry someday she will forgive you sometimes it takes alot of time to let go of the anger and resentment. Well I hope your taking good care of yourself. Kim

You sound great my friend. Keep the positive thoughts and all will be fine. I hear in your voice the good Lord's blessing. when you have that....you can't go wrong. My prayers are with you daily. Son is driving me crazy. I told him today, very nicely, that he had 2 weeks to find a job, if not, he will have to leave. He is not putting out much effort to be in the trouble he's in with the courts, probation, fines........I would have found 4 jobs by now and working them all.............he's young, he can do it.........but I won't let him stay and live here with no effort being made. Pray for us all!! We need it!! Still no smoking!! I feel sooooooo much better!! Eating like a horse.but as I said before I need the weight gain..........plus it feels good!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all good people. I am so glad I found you and can now see I have many new friends!!!:angel:

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I want to say I am thankful for all of you. You have been here for me daily, through all my darkest, weepiest and confused moments. You touched me, lifted me up, always answered my questions.

No one thinks I can possibly get the support I get from these boards but I do, thank you.

Yes, Chef, Kim is right, Q is a letter we picked because what could possibly begin with a Q, so we joked as long as her diagnosis didn't start with a Q, she would be ok. So far she has avoided diagnosis that begin with the letter Q and it has taken off the edge of our worrying. Keep us posted, try to enjoy the holiday. Group hug for Chef and yes we are friends for life.

Flint my son is going into a three day morning program next week. He is supposed to call them Friday to set it in stone. As we always say, God works in his own time in his own way. I work for a pyschiatrist p/t while going to school. I just told her what was happening at home. She is going to consult w/son on Tue then give him the diagnosis codes to bring with him to the program so they work on all of his problems. Just when I thought the big guy wasn't listening....he proved me wrong.

Still not smoking is huge, Flint!!!! Good thing we aren't neighbors we would be sitting around the kitchen talking with a cup of coffee in one hand and a fork in the other, lol, talking about how crazy our sons are making us.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! cram315

Cram after we had some family sessions with my sons psyh. he did tell us hes bipolar..he is currently being treated for it..he hasnt been taking any opiates or benzos that we know of..the drug testing scared him a little..i know he doesnt want to leave our home..he never did have any serious withdrawels. anyway, he is visiting his grandparents in florida for a few days and seems to be doing ok...we have to take it one day at a time..

Prayers are with you Chef...Hope all are having a great turkey day. I ate too much as usual.....but loved it. haven't heard from son is 4 days...didn't even call me today. Husband and I just discovered that a bottle of xanax we had left ovver from weaning him off of them in February are missing. We had them with other meds in a sock up in the top of my closet....only person who would have taken them would be son. There were prob 15-20 in the bottle. After 2 arrests in one weekend because of xanax....he wants them still...so he steals them. The day I told him he had 2 weeks to find a job, guess he didn't like that...haven't seen or heard from him since. Hope SHE'S ready to support him...cause if he doesn't find a job quickly, and pay his probation next week, he goes back to jail. How soon he forgot how bad that was....guess it wasn't as bad as I thought...he wants to go back.........makes no sense to me, but nothing does where it concerns him. maybe he's bipolar too!!! something has to be wrong with his brain.......if he comes home, he will be drug tested..........and that alone will boot him out of the house......he knows that.......that's usually why he stays away.......oh well, nothing I can do but pray.....maybe some day he'll grow up.........hope I'm still here to see it!!!

i dont know why i cant get past page 4?

Ok i did now...i feel sorry for you i really do..its got to be the worst thing ever to know you might have to kick him out...ive been there...but i do agree the drug thing has to be stopped..its your home,,,

arghhh, I must be living in La-la land, to ever have hope in my son.

Thanksgiving he showed up at my mom's (didn't come home the night before) he ate, went outside, threw it up and then came back in and slept on her couch the rest of the day. I kept thinking he peed on himself because everytime I went to wake him up there was a strong odor around him, I realized it was coming out of him (his breath) and it was amonia smelling.

Chef, Kevin (miss you) what could that be?

He just pisses the hell out of me. My husband says I yell at him too much 9son yells back) but I can't help it. Son is at work now. The only thing that is keeping his one foot on the right side of the track.

Flint I had no idea your son left. Our sons are two very immature people and I am starting to believe that he, my son, isn't mentally cooked upstairs. He was supposed to call day program today but I am getting used to being disappointed.

Jules, things look promising for you and your son. God has to smile on one of us, if it isn't my turn, I am glad it is yours.

cram315

Cram, my heart breaks for you..i know how much you love your son..like i love mine. i spoke with a re-hab center in fla. they sound so wonderful and our plan is if my son continues taking drugs he has to go there or he has to leave our home. so far, hes doing ok..he knows we will continue urine drug testing at random. and has agrred to go into a re-hab if we find him positive...i doubt it...but only time will tell. i have 2 daughters and 1 son and i love him so much, but i know how he can suck the life right out of me! how old is your son? they are so immature ..it amazes me..i was 21 when i got married and had my son at 23..i was so mature...i feel like i did something wrong with him..hes had such a happy childhood..no abuse or anything that we read about..hes the first grandchild,nephew etc..and so loved by the entire family..?????

Please use the relationship health board for these discussions. This board is for those who are working their recovery.

Also, please do not call out a group of members, but rather wait and see who replies. No cliquey groups.