i have been drug free for at least a few months now.....i dont really have a date, i just couldnt live my life in pursuit of percocets and OC's anymore, and just stopped. i used probably an average of 100mg's a day at the end, of course it started smaller, but after several years it built up to that. the withdrawls were horrible, and i still dont sleep well, but otherwise am doing well. the question i have involves the guilt i still feel for all the bad stuff i did while i was on drugs. when does that go away? is it normal to be feeling this way some of the time? i didnt do anything horrible, but i know i hurt a lot of people, and spent A LOT of money....and it still bothers me.

JW;

That’s a great question as I felt that way for awhile after I got off the pills but at some point I was talking to a dear friend who is also a therapist and she told me that I needed to look at my life as a book or a novel. That novel is made up of many chapters, each unique and important to the overall story.

Your life is very much similar as its many chapters that are pieced together to represent your life. So my wise old friend, well she’s not that old but is very wise, told me to treat my drug addiction like a chapter in a book. Once you become drug free you begin writing a new chapter as the old chapter is over and you’ve turned the page on it. The old chapter has relevance as you continue your journey in life but its over and you have to stop looking back at it. Very much like life, the addiction is over and you are managing it moving forward, no need to think about all the things you did wrong or feel guilty about. That just becomes counter productive. You are now writing your new chapter, the drug free chapter, the chapter that’s gets better and better as time passes by.

Remember you have chapters in your book for when you were a child, teen years, high school, college possibly, early 20’s, etc…….. Each time you close that chapter and begin a new chapter. It’s all good, you have control, you write the contents, just enjoy and stop thinking to hard about the past and concentrate on you and your wonderful future.

I hope that helps, it certainly helped me greatly during that first year off the pills.

phil

That was a great post Phil. Gave me a different way to look at things. Thanks much.