Ok.. I have read all kinds of books on eating disorders trying to help myself,, trying to eat like a normal person.. I was depressed all the time, I would binge alot, I would starve myself and I would obsess. sometimes my weight was my whole life. I used to cry because I wanted to just be FREE of all of it so badly.. Its really strange but changing my diet ( I had to force myself to eat like this at first, even though I liked the food. I felt SO guilty...)

I did Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet about 5 weeks ago or so.. It worked like a charm- My cravings vanished. I didn't follow the diet plan exactly, tho. I ate a few times a day, usually- ate more cheese, meat and nuts than I did veggies- but still, my cravings left.
Then I went on a 3 week vacation. I found myself mostly craving meat and cheese but a few times I had my old favorite foods or id have fish and rice with a sauce that probably had sugar in it. The meals were ok.. but the junk- WOW- did I feel ******.
I went to this candy shop in savannah, GA and bought my favorite marshmallow smothered in chocolate on a stick. haha- the favorite binge type foods, right there. It was good, of course but I felt SO sick afterward. My depression came back with a vengence. A few times after that I ate stuff with sugar like that - every time I felt mood swings and after eating it.
I'd crash and feel the same horrible feeling I used to feel every day before South Beach. The sugar was making me extremely depressed.
One day, we were on the road and all we had to eat was pretzels and crackers and I kept eating them and they didn't fill me up, no matter how much I ate. and I felt ******. I got really irritable and depressed. WOW- the symptoms that accompanied my eating disorder! I don't think I'm allergic to wheat but I guess I'm sensitive to carbohydrates like that..

Then I found out I have hypothyroidism (which is probably why I lost no weight on phase 1)- and I started thyroid medicine two days ago.. I also started loads of vitamin supplements and decided to ditch (or at least lower) my insane coffee habit (ive been using coffee to function for a few years now..) to help my adrenal gland- (hypothyroidism also causes depression- but I was regulating my own depression and FREE of my eating disorder WITHOUT meds or a shrink-- JUST by staying away from sugar and high carby starchy things!)

I find I'm really not hungry enough to eat 5 times a day and my schedule doesn't really allow it anyway-
But what I'm back to eating now that I'm home
feels really good, so I'm sticking to it. It's probably not ideal southbeach, but im sticking to low calories because I not going insane with cravings.

what I'm eating:
breakfast (anywhere from 9 to 11am)
3 omega-3 eggs (egglands best)- cooked in canola spray, with sea salt (has better iodine in it than regular salt- which is needed for thyroid function) and pepper.
5 pieces of center-cut bacon (i knowwww.. when i use it all I might just go without any meat at all.)
2 slices of tillamook cheddar on my eggs.
green tea with raw honey

do all my supplements around 3pm..
around 6:30 or later I have dinner.

The other day I couldnt get down anything except an apple with another piece of cheddar..

But last night I had
organic mixed baby greens tossed in a smidge of olive oil and apple cider vinegar-
added gorgonzola cheese, pecan pieces, tomato and foster farm chicken breast

I'll probably have the same exact thing today... eggs and then salad (with apple in it instead of tomato).


*im counting calories on fitday.com and I'm getting 800-1400 a day from what I'm eating so thats a good area to stick to, i think


My plan besides having that is to have some red meat, white fish and salmon on other days with some veggies like green beans or a mixture. I may eventually have some steelcut oatmeal for breakfast if I feel like it. and brown rice for dinner every once in awhile.
Ghiradelli makes some really good dark chocolate squares you can stick in the freezer for a rich, satisfying bite of chocolate that doesnt make me feel awful, if you are interested!

I thought I had some serious mental issues- the depression and obsession over food.. now I find out there are physiological reasons for all of it. It bugs me when I think that I was going to go to a shrink and that I almost started prozac a few years ago. So glad I didn't, even though I had to suffer for quite awhile before I figured this out.

By the way.. I'm 22 years old. (5'5 - 130 lbs currently)