A year ago I use to REALLY restrict. I would count every calorie and make sure I never ate even one calorie over my limit. I would make meal plans up to a week in advance and would basically eat just one meal a day. I never binged and always stuck to my meal plan PERFECTLY no matter how bad I wanted to give in and not eat as planed. But now it seems like I cant control myself around food. Im still stuck in my ED ways and Im pretty much the same as I was a year ago; counting every calorie, restricting WELL below 1,200 cal/day on most days, eating nothing but safe foods, making meal plans, ignoreing my hunger (when I get hungry) ect. But now about 80% of the time when Im around tons of food like at resturants, grocery stores, or anywhere else where theres lots of food I go crazy :dizzy: Its like as soon as I see all that food I just wanna binge and sometimes I do :( It like I have no control at all. I use to do so well when I was around food and now I have no self control. Of coarse after bingeing I feel so guity, sick, and bloated so I restrict even more and then the whole cycle starts over again. I dont know whats wrong with me. I never had the desire to binge. Would I still be considered anorexic? You never really hear of anorexics who binge eat. Is it really uncommon?:confused:

There's so many different types of eating disorders, I've looked them up and sometimes I fall under the Anorexia Nervosa category, and other times the binge eating category. It alllll confuses me. :confused: I used to be really good at resisting the binging urge as well...but that's in the past. Now I swear I am gonna gain 50 pounds cuz binging is all I seem to do lately. Like today, my mom was baking desserts for tomorrow.... like 4 pies, a pudding dessert..and I made fudge. Well..... yeah my tummy hurts.

I know for me I go through periods of restricting and then "heavy consumption." Personally, I feel like it's once an anorexic, always an anorexic, the degrees just vary. Have you also considered that a binge to us may be a little distorted (just like everything else?) I know when I feel like I've binged, when I actually look at the numbers they are definitely higher, but in the normal range of what a person should be eating in a day.

Anorexia has become this trophy word in our society. I feel like it almost represents willpower, strength, something... it's absolutely wrong, but you know what? You earned that "title." Don't get yourself down over losing something that you "earned." You know what I mean?

I know for me I go through periods of restricting and then "heavy consumption."

That's sooo true of me too. For awhile I will be SOOO good and eat the amount I set for myself and not go over, under sometimes, but I'll have very strong willpower. And then something will trigger in me and I'll just start grabbing food, and then snack and munch and eat all friggin' day everyday for like a week, until I say ENOUGH OF THATTT.. and attempt to go back to the restriction.

[QUOTE=jjwdean] Have you also considered that a binge to us may be a little distorted (just like everything else?) [QUOTE]

I wonder that too myself. After a binge I sometimes go back and count the number of calories it was (usually Im to afraid to do that) and like you, it is higher but within the averagel range of what a normal person would eat. But I use to do so good at controling my binges and considered myself a "good anorexic" (if theres such a thing) but now its like I have no will power at all. I mean I still freak out about calories and tend to go for the lite or diet stuff but lately I just been eating more or within the normal range. Ive even gained some weight but Im probabily still underweight. I keep telling myself starting tomorrow after all this thanksgiving stuff is over Ill probabily really restrict. I was just thinking the only difference between now and a year ago is that my parents were not aware of my ED. Today they suspect I have an ED but no one has really brought it up. They ask me every day if I ate or what I ate. Could that be a reason of why I dont restrict as much as I use too? Just by them knowing about my ED?:confused:

Could that be a reason of why I dont restrict as much as I use too? Just by them knowing about my ED?:confused:
It could be, but I doubt it. I think my body is going against me. I've heard it happening to other people too. After a while your body gears up to make you absolutely hungry all the time. Obviously your body begins to retain more. When one first begins to restrict, the body gets confused; the appetite may disappear and losing weight may be quite easy. After a while your body catches on and here we are...

I am curious if it really matters all that much what your "struggle" is labled. Do you feel like you are a better person if you are an anorexic and not a bulimic or binge eater? Lables are just that, lables. Peel it off and just be you with your struggles and work as hard as you can to get through them.

Lables are evil and keep us stuck. Be you and be beautiful.