Happysbutterfly
05-06-2002, 11:32 PM
It was so scary!!! we were walking to the coke mechine and then he just made like a sigh noise and dropped to the floor and had a major seizure. He had like 3 in a row. I knew what to do because this wasnt the first time this has happened. Now(a week later) he isnt talking to me!! im not sure if its because we just broke up.... or because of what happened. i tried calling him, but he doesnt answer the phone, or he just says he is really busy.
i know hes really pissed because he was just diagnosed like 2 years ago. he had to stop skate boarding, he was being sponsered. we are really close and i dont want this to ruin our realationship. anothe thing is, he heard from people that people were laughing at him, and when ever he walks threw the halls people stare. he was that guy that always had a girl friend, had fun, and went to parties. but now... he just stays home. i really need advice!!!
Renaissance
i know hes really pissed because he was just diagnosed like 2 years ago. he had to stop skate boarding, he was being sponsered. we are really close and i dont want this to ruin our realationship. anothe thing is, he heard from people that people were laughing at him, and when ever he walks threw the halls people stare. he was that guy that always had a girl friend, had fun, and went to parties. but now... he just stays home. i really need advice!!!
Renaissance
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Kokopelli
05-06-2002, 11:42 PM
Hi Happy :wave:
The best thing you can do is be supportive to him it's hard specially when your younger hon .. no you can never feel his pain but you both had a bond and you understand him.. let him relax about what happened ok give him a little space to think he'll come around :) if people are laughing at him remind him they are the negative ones and personaly it's pretty sad to laugh at anyone with any kind of a disorder or disability but I have been epileptic for so long I just shun those kind of people on unless I am discriminated against then I stand up for my rights. People are sad... Epilepsy can hit at any age and be there for the rest of our lives so those that laugh "what comes around could go around" :) Just be there for him hon but might want to let him get a grip first :) btw why did he have to stop skateboarding? I never stopped playing hockey till I moved to arizona tell him to go on with his life and enjoy it after all we only live once ...
Hugs
Koko
The best thing you can do is be supportive to him it's hard specially when your younger hon .. no you can never feel his pain but you both had a bond and you understand him.. let him relax about what happened ok give him a little space to think he'll come around :) if people are laughing at him remind him they are the negative ones and personaly it's pretty sad to laugh at anyone with any kind of a disorder or disability but I have been epileptic for so long I just shun those kind of people on unless I am discriminated against then I stand up for my rights. People are sad... Epilepsy can hit at any age and be there for the rest of our lives so those that laugh "what comes around could go around" :) Just be there for him hon but might want to let him get a grip first :) btw why did he have to stop skateboarding? I never stopped playing hockey till I moved to arizona tell him to go on with his life and enjoy it after all we only live once ...
Hugs
Koko
Happysbutterfly
05-07-2002, 12:03 AM
Hey,
thanks for the reply! i am giving him room, but its been a week. You said i was younger? meaning....? well younger than you,maybe, but we are the same age. he is just pushing me away. i think he thinks that i dont want to be his bestfriend anymore. but that is not true at all!! i love him so much. i really was in love with him when we were going out. but now, i cant love someone that doesnt want to be loved. WE are both 18, and in the past year ive been hanging around some people he doesnt really like, he thinks that they are a bad influence. but hey, i g2g pleace reply.
Renaissance
thanks for the reply! i am giving him room, but its been a week. You said i was younger? meaning....? well younger than you,maybe, but we are the same age. he is just pushing me away. i think he thinks that i dont want to be his bestfriend anymore. but that is not true at all!! i love him so much. i really was in love with him when we were going out. but now, i cant love someone that doesnt want to be loved. WE are both 18, and in the past year ive been hanging around some people he doesnt really like, he thinks that they are a bad influence. but hey, i g2g pleace reply.
Renaissance
Gary L
05-07-2002, 12:08 AM
Your boyfriend had gone though something that is very embarrassing. People see it, they don't know what to think or do. Others laugh and keep up it up whenever he is seen.
You get yourself in your own world where you feel no one can hurt you. And even though you would not hurt him, this thinking of hurt goes far beyond anything you can know. Many times it takes people to experience the same thing to understand.
I have. I have been there. You get embarrased. Scard. All kinds of things go through the mind. Things that make you feel sometimes like a freak or something else.
It takes time. Just let him know, no matter how long, just let him know you are there for him any time he wants to talk. Call him up just to say hi.
He is in a mixed up terrified world now, he needs understanding and comfort.
I have had epilepsy since 10 months old. I have been through it all, even brain surgery. My life is still very hard. I wish you both the best of luck. Stay close.
If you wish to e-mail or post a question or just for support, that is why we have message boards. Always here, and in my prayers.
Gary L Raggs746
You get yourself in your own world where you feel no one can hurt you. And even though you would not hurt him, this thinking of hurt goes far beyond anything you can know. Many times it takes people to experience the same thing to understand.
I have. I have been there. You get embarrased. Scard. All kinds of things go through the mind. Things that make you feel sometimes like a freak or something else.
It takes time. Just let him know, no matter how long, just let him know you are there for him any time he wants to talk. Call him up just to say hi.
He is in a mixed up terrified world now, he needs understanding and comfort.
I have had epilepsy since 10 months old. I have been through it all, even brain surgery. My life is still very hard. I wish you both the best of luck. Stay close.
If you wish to e-mail or post a question or just for support, that is why we have message boards. Always here, and in my prayers.
Gary L Raggs746
Kaitie
05-07-2002, 02:52 PM
Hi,
I understand where your boyfriend is coming from. I had Grandmal Seizures at school ALL the time - and though it was elementary school - people generally react the same. I had one sitting in one of the chairs in class - and the next week I returend and realized that NO ONE would sit in that chair because they didn't want to 'die' like I did. Another time a girl in my class told me that my teacher tried to pick me up off the ground and pulled up my shirt and all the GIRLS were laughing, but the guys were dead quiet (never seen up a shirt before I guess). Anyways - even my best friends paretns wouldn't let her come see me in the hospital becuase they didn't know 'what' E was - or if it was contiagious. It IS embarassing - VERY very embarrassing. One thing I don't understand about 'guy' though - is that when I went down - I wanted people WITH me forever when I came too - I hated being alone because I was so scared (mind you its a different age group). I say, make sure he KNOWS that you care - but let him come to you - don't chase him down...it'll make it MORE obvious that something happened. He's waiting to come around and he will
Kaitie
I understand where your boyfriend is coming from. I had Grandmal Seizures at school ALL the time - and though it was elementary school - people generally react the same. I had one sitting in one of the chairs in class - and the next week I returend and realized that NO ONE would sit in that chair because they didn't want to 'die' like I did. Another time a girl in my class told me that my teacher tried to pick me up off the ground and pulled up my shirt and all the GIRLS were laughing, but the guys were dead quiet (never seen up a shirt before I guess). Anyways - even my best friends paretns wouldn't let her come see me in the hospital becuase they didn't know 'what' E was - or if it was contiagious. It IS embarassing - VERY very embarrassing. One thing I don't understand about 'guy' though - is that when I went down - I wanted people WITH me forever when I came too - I hated being alone because I was so scared (mind you its a different age group). I say, make sure he KNOWS that you care - but let him come to you - don't chase him down...it'll make it MORE obvious that something happened. He's waiting to come around and he will
Kaitie
Kokopelli
05-07-2002, 04:04 PM
Morning Kate :wave:
Thats weird you mention that one embarrassing moment when your teacher accidently pulled your shirt up same thing happened to me in gym in high school thank god I had a heart of stone back then (was very strong) as I would probably not have gone back to school I have two different moods I can share.. one is the needy mood sometimes I am more needy sometimes on the other hand I want to be alone I personally think it depends sometimes on what happens during the seizure almost two months ago now I pulled my arm out of joint during a grand-mal and yes VERY needy for days almost weeks after.. if I don't get hurt or the seizure doesn't knock me for a loop mentally I think I tend to stay on my regular track of I don't need help I am fine now... I don't know we are all so different and this last seizure this young man had (yep young to me hon) I am 38 now, well it probably through him for a loop for a few weeks thats why I mentioned just give him time to think.. he needs that hon and I would suggest giving him a call after a week and checking on him try and talk to him let him know you still love him very much :)
Hugs
Koko
Thats weird you mention that one embarrassing moment when your teacher accidently pulled your shirt up same thing happened to me in gym in high school thank god I had a heart of stone back then (was very strong) as I would probably not have gone back to school I have two different moods I can share.. one is the needy mood sometimes I am more needy sometimes on the other hand I want to be alone I personally think it depends sometimes on what happens during the seizure almost two months ago now I pulled my arm out of joint during a grand-mal and yes VERY needy for days almost weeks after.. if I don't get hurt or the seizure doesn't knock me for a loop mentally I think I tend to stay on my regular track of I don't need help I am fine now... I don't know we are all so different and this last seizure this young man had (yep young to me hon) I am 38 now, well it probably through him for a loop for a few weeks thats why I mentioned just give him time to think.. he needs that hon and I would suggest giving him a call after a week and checking on him try and talk to him let him know you still love him very much :)
Hugs
Koko
Kaitie
05-07-2002, 06:59 PM
Koko - The STORIES we have. And the best part is - we do have hearts of stone, and now we can giggle at times like those.
Renaissence: You mentioned a break up somewhere in your first post....If you and your guy are having other problems - then he may be TWICE as frustrated as ever - first problems with you (it's stressful caring about someone very very much (I'm sure he does!) if there are problems to deal with as well) and THEN, he's got the seizure to deal with.
I'm sure his poor lil' head is about ready to explode from stress - REST ASSURED - he WILL come around.
TIME TIME TIME.
By the way - I'm 19, dealing with school, seizures and boyfriends so I know exactly how he feels....he might just feel like shouting
aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! !!
Let me know.
Renaissence: You mentioned a break up somewhere in your first post....If you and your guy are having other problems - then he may be TWICE as frustrated as ever - first problems with you (it's stressful caring about someone very very much (I'm sure he does!) if there are problems to deal with as well) and THEN, he's got the seizure to deal with.
I'm sure his poor lil' head is about ready to explode from stress - REST ASSURED - he WILL come around.
TIME TIME TIME.
By the way - I'm 19, dealing with school, seizures and boyfriends so I know exactly how he feels....he might just feel like shouting
aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! !!
Let me know.
Happysbutterfly
05-07-2002, 10:33 PM
Hey,
Thank you for your replys I really didn;t think anyone would reply. I call him today just to talk about....basically nothing, just sit there like we used to and talk about anything. We had an okay conversation. I told him I loved him before getting off the phone, he didnt say anything. I am really hurt, but I just have to try to understand.
The whole thing with us bring together in a relationship was.... well I was and I still am in live with him. But, we did break up almost 2 years ago. We did have little i still like you moments, and a little bit of dating. But, nothing like before his accident.
He was being sponsered for his skate boarding. I went with him to practice for his photo shoot when out of now where in the half pipe he had a seizure. I had no idea what was going on, ive never even heard of such a thing till then. A women ran up and told me to call 911. After about 5 months opf him being in and out fo the hospital, h wanted to break up. I was heart broken, i was there with him through everything.
I am seeing someone else now, and have a son with him ( my son has cerebral palsy by the way). I love my boyfriend very much, but i could never love like i loved russel.
Ive seen russel have seizures for 2 years now, i know what to do and im not scared anymore. I just worry about him all the time. He just doesnt want me to see him like that.I also see my son have seizures.
I dont know what im saying, im just baballing on now. so i am going, please write back. or email me if you have something to ask or say at HappysButterfly@aol.com
Renai
Thank you for your replys I really didn;t think anyone would reply. I call him today just to talk about....basically nothing, just sit there like we used to and talk about anything. We had an okay conversation. I told him I loved him before getting off the phone, he didnt say anything. I am really hurt, but I just have to try to understand.
The whole thing with us bring together in a relationship was.... well I was and I still am in live with him. But, we did break up almost 2 years ago. We did have little i still like you moments, and a little bit of dating. But, nothing like before his accident.
He was being sponsered for his skate boarding. I went with him to practice for his photo shoot when out of now where in the half pipe he had a seizure. I had no idea what was going on, ive never even heard of such a thing till then. A women ran up and told me to call 911. After about 5 months opf him being in and out fo the hospital, h wanted to break up. I was heart broken, i was there with him through everything.
I am seeing someone else now, and have a son with him ( my son has cerebral palsy by the way). I love my boyfriend very much, but i could never love like i loved russel.
Ive seen russel have seizures for 2 years now, i know what to do and im not scared anymore. I just worry about him all the time. He just doesnt want me to see him like that.I also see my son have seizures.
I dont know what im saying, im just baballing on now. so i am going, please write back. or email me if you have something to ask or say at HappysButterfly@aol.com
Renai