My friend is currently in hospital with cervial cancer which has spread around her body. We know the outcome isn't going to be good, she's only 29, and we've been told she probably won't make it till christmas. I've asked If I can go and see her, and her husband(a good friend) as advised that she doesn't want to see anyone. She's worried about what she looks like and smells like which is understandable. I really don't know what to do, some other friends have gone anyway, but I don't want to disrespect her wishes. However, If I don't go I really don't think I'll ever see her again. I don't want to be selfish, please can anyone offer any advice. Much apprieciated.

Is it possible for you to send her a thoughtful, heartfelt note through her husband and in it explain that you would really like to see her and support her through this? If she still wishes to have no visitors, you can continue sending her notes with your positive thoughts, encouragement and gifts of strength. Sometimes a note or card or letter can be very meaningful.

Have you tried calling her? Maybe after talking to her on the phone she will realize you just want to visit. How were other friends received by her? She is going through some heavy mental stress and may need this time to get her mind prepared for what may happen.

Thank you so much for replying. I have since sent a card with letter and also a lovely photo of my friend and myself. I have been told she was really pleased. Thanks so much for your advice and I will continue to send letters.
XX

Thanks very much for your advice. I have sent a card with letter, and a photo of my friend and myself. I told been told she was very pleased. I think I will continue to send letters and hope for the best. Thanks very much, X