I belong to a lot of boards and I usually am kind've annoyed by posts like this but I really need some support right now.

I was diagnosed with mod dysplasia two years ago. I had a leep (the results of the leep were "inflammation" -- I guess they got it all with the biopsy and I'm not a little bitter about the uncessary leep -- but that's a different story). I also had a C-section style surgery to remove two huge masses from my ovaries -- both of which were benign.

Since that time I have had one ASCUS pap which was attributed to the inflammation immediately after the leep and two normal paps. I have been "released" to go back to a pap every year at this point.

DH and I have been diagnosed with severe male factor infertility and we had two unsuccessful IVF attempts this summer (one ending in a chemical pregnancy and one negative). Also, I had to put my beloved dog to sleep after a terrible sickness. THis has been the worst year of my life. All of this to say that I started smoking again. I have been smoking for about three months and I'm terrified that the dysplasia may have returned. I went to the dr. and she would not do a pap as I am not scheduled for one until April (I have an HMO). I guess I'm looking for someone to tell me that if I quit now and get healthy again, there's a chance it hasn't come back. I know it's crazy. I'm just so anxious about it and feel so guilty for smoking.

I'm sorry this is so long and I thank you if you've gotten this far :). It's just that I don't know anyone who has gone through this. I also know that there are people on this board dealing with serious issues and I hope my post hasn't offended anyone.

Thanks.

Hi,

Stress gets the best of all of us from time to time. Don't beat yourself up, just recognize that it's never to late to get healthy and make the best choices for you.

Good luck to you and keep coming back. This thread has the nicest, most supportive people you'll find anywhere.

-Jennifer