Dear readers

Feeling really depressed, no matter what I do I seem to go through this 4 or 5 hour depression everyday, the closer it gets to christmas the more I think about my mom, she really loved christmas and always made it special . it's been 11 months today and as time goes on I just think about her more and more. We're having our company christmas lunch tomorrow and I just can't pretend to be happy. I know I have to move on but this being the first christmas I just don't know what to expect. I know I should have alot to feel grateful for and that there are people worse off than me so I try to focus on that. It's been really helpful reading the replies and hopefully someday I'll be able to offer suggestions and encouragement instead of just asking for help. May you all have the best christmas you possibly can. God Bless you all.

Bill J

Hi Bill,

Well the only advice I can give is take it one day at a time. As you know already I also lost my mom. She was the center in our family to which we all revolved. I can tell you that even though it will always hard ,it does get a little easier with time. This will be my 3rd Christmas without my mom. Also ,I know my mom would not want me moping around. so I guess i feel like i'm honoring her by going on with the holidays and trying to do the best I can.
But Bill ,be gentle with yourself. If after making an appearence at your office party it just gets too bad ,then i'm sure people would understand if you ducked out. But at least try going with an open mind because that's probably what your mom would want you to do... don't you think?

Bill J your mom loved Christmas, I lost Dad almost a year ago and I understand your depression. I can only tell you what we are doing for Christmas, but first today is his birthday, so we are going to attach messages to a helium birthday balloon and release it after our tea party, I have 4 children who miss granda, we are having all his favourite foods, we are doing this to be positive - it aint easy but it is helping get through the day.
At Christmas we are going to put a decoration on the tree for him - maybe with his photo on so we know he is in our thoughts and we are going to celbrate with him part of it, he is always with us.
It really has helped replacing the event of his passing and funeral with positive things that he would have liked.. i hope you find something helpful in what we are doing for my Dad
thinking of you x ( It is ok to cry too.. to cry is to heal they say x

Dear Katheryn and loboo, thank you for your suggestions. I did go to the christmas lunch yesterday and had a good time (was't that depressed) and I like your suggestions loboo about doing positive things in your Dad's memory I will definitley try some of them. My brother and I have decided to go out for dinner christmas day, it's just me and him so instead of me cooking a dinner for just the two of us and sitting around it might be better to go out. Have a good Christmas and God bless.

Bill J

That is a great idea to have dinner out and I am glad you made it through yesterday, the depression comes and goes in varying degrees.
Think of you hope you have the best christmas you can xx

Bill J,

I lost both my brother(1990) and my mother(2002) and since then, the holiday season just does not have that "zing" to it anymore. I get through it for a variety of reasons, ranging from the fact that they would want that of me to having to raise a daughter as a single parent.

I am glad that your brother will be with you, as I am sure that it will provide needed comfort or support.

Remember and cherish the good times, especially during the holiday season. It is even alright to shed a tear now and then. Whoever tells you that "real men don't cry or express their feelings, to me is not a real man and should be defined as such.

You be well this holiday season and always and keep on posting.

Take care
God Bless
FTM