Here's the scenario....
You've been seeing a new partner for a few months. Everything's going well, and you realise that you do quite like him/her, although it's still early days obviously. Then he/she tells you that he/she has herpes. What do you do??? Honestly.
I don't know what to do. I do quite like the guy I'm seeing, but at the same time I really don't like the idea of getting herpes. Also, I do have obsessive, depressive tendancies so I'm probably more opposed to contracting herpes than your regular person.
Any advice and honest answers would be appreciated because I'm seriously confused :confused:

I assume you have not had sex with him of any kind yet? They are now saying that you can get it simply from skin contact alone. If I were you I would go to an STD clinic and get yourself totally educated on Herpes. Personally, now that I just was informed two days ago that I have it, I would not want to take a chance giving it to someone else. However, 1 out of 4 women have it and 1 out of 5 men have it. I'm referring to Herpes II. I don't know how old you are, but you also have to consider the fact that what if you go on with this relationship and you get it and then the two of you break up? There are worse things out there, but a condom doesn't even protect you for sure. Your partner doesn't have to be symptomatic to pass it to you. So, my final input, is get 'very educated' about the disease and then make your decision. Good luck.

hey, thanks for the reply. I really appreciate it. I have had sex with him. Once before he told me, and then a couple of times after. When he first told me, I didn't realise the implications - I didn't know anything about it, and I just put it to the back of my mind (don't ask me why!). It was only when I told my friend and she made me realise that it was something that I needed to seriously think about, that I started stressing about it. Then I managed to send myself a little crazy and I convinced myself that I had it. I've since been checked out at a clinic and told that I don't. I haven't slept with him since when I went 'a little crazy'. He wants to go to a clinic together and discuss the whole thing someone who really knows what they're talking about. The bottom line is - I really don't want to get it, and like you said, I don't think i can ever be 100% sure that I won't get it, even if we use condoms. The thing is, I do like him, but I'm not sure that I'm the right person to deal with this. Although, I completely understand that there are worse things in the world to have. I'm almost 24, so quite young still, and who knows if the relationship would last, irrespective of the herpes issue. I guess I'll go along to the clinic and be educated and then make my decision. Hmmm.

Looks like you have already asked yourself the key questions, like "do i see this person as a life time partner", "is this a serious relationship", "what do i want from life" etc.

Basically in my personal opinion it all boils down to whether you feel you couldn't live without him, he is the one, you dont want anybody else, you are willing to catch herpes if it comes down to it. If you are sure that you don't want anybody else, then by all means, still get educated on this topic and simply learn ways of possibly not catching it.

If you are unsure about how you feel about him and the future then DO NOT HAVE SEX. As the other poster said, you can still pass the virus on whilst using condoms. This unfortunately is something the authorities concerned do not stress enough in literature and in sex education at schools. Everybody thinks condoms are the modern day life savers when it comes to sex, but they are far from that.

I caught my herpes virus using condoms and i wish i had found this site sooner. In my case though, i wanted to be with him and i would rather have him and the herpes. I simply couldn't have imagined life without him.

There is a rather long, but helpful, thread much further down the page (or could be on page 2 by now) called Happy Couples. You ought to have a read of this thread whether you stay with this guy or not. Actually you ought to get your boy friend to read that thread too. It is very difficult having this virus and finding somebody who wants you regardless, so he might have found it difficult telling you in the first place and rejections are difficult for most people to take, so perhaps the Happy Couples thread will give both of you a more positive outlook regarding this virus and relationships.

Good luck to both of you and congratulations on not ditching him on the spot and instead looking for answers. More people should be like you :)

Thanks for the reply, and I appreciate your nice comment at the end - I've been thinking that I'm a terrible person throughout this whole thing, but may be I'm not so bad ;) I completely agree with what you're saying about the whole condom thing - people should be given more information about what can be passed on, even when using condoms. This whole herpes experience has been a real eye opener for me. Right, I'm going to check out that happy couples thread now...