I read the Newbies Read This thread, and found it to be very helpful, and explained alot of what I have been feeling like for a very long time. But I just want to be sure about it from those who have it. First off what kind of doctor should I go see about it?

Anyways for a long time, too long to remember, I have been feeling either way down, basically not caring if I lived or died, or feeling like I was on top of the world, basically like I was invincible. When I feel down I seem to not be able to do anything, except sleep or be as inactive as possible. But my body is too used to moving because of my job, so if I rest too long or sleep too much, my body actually hurts and aches real bad. Also I tend to feel like I am drunk in my head, but my body can move and keep up with my job duties. Alot of times people remark about how I look angry or drunk, I dont drink by the way, but sometimes I do get really angry.

When I am feeling invincible, I seem to be able to move real fast and my head is able to keep up with my body, but the smallest thing gone wrong will set me way over the edge. For example I work in a dairy department in a grocery store, and one time I was stocking the eggs and a broken carton caused an egg to fall out and bust on the floor causing a mess. That little thing was enough for me to walk in the back and punch a hole in the wall and almost break my hand as well. But I noticed myself being extremly playful with others, which tended to make them mad, and it seemed like I felt like I could do anything, and not get hurt. Like driving wrecklessly, fighting someone, or just anything that would give me more of a rush than I already had. And my energy level just goes through the roof.

I went to my doctor asking about an energy defficiency, because the majority of the time I seem to be down, but all my blood work came back just fine, so he wanted to talk to me about being depressed, which I didnt think I was, so I went to another doctor. He told me the same thing, so I talked to him and said I was depressed, and put me on Prozac. But it seemed that while I was on the Prozac I was worse than normal when I had my up days, which I had more of than anything, but when I had a down day, it seemed much worse as well because I felt that nothing could help me.

I did alot of damage to my body with energy supplements and fat burners, just because I wanted to have the energy needed to do my job, at one point I was stacking Stacker 2, 2000mg of Ginseng, 700mg of caffene, and twice the dosage of a high performance vitamine, all taken 2-3 times a day with an energy drink. This was all before I saw the doctor about the energy defficiency turned depression. I figured I needed to when I almost gave myself a heart attack and on a daily basis my nose would just start gushing blood for no reason.

Anyways it does seem that I have Bi Polar 2, but I wanted to see what you guys thought about it from what I have stated so far, any advice would be great, and yes I am going to the doctor, but I am wondering if I should go back to my original doctor or a psychiatrist or something. I am trying to go on Monday, because I seriously cant take this anymore, I have so many plans and goals for my life and it irritates me alot when I come home and instead of doing the things I need to do to better my life, I just be lazy or sleep instead. That and now my job is in serious jeapordy, and I need to be able to tell my managers what is wrong with me.

I think there is a good chance your are BP, sounds like a classic case to me. The only thing I wonder is, what were you highs, good days, angry days like before your started with all the energy supplementation stuff. I wonder if it aggravates you with the condition, or causes a sort of toxic reaction that mimics the mania of BP. Glad you post, and hope with all the combined wisdom and experience out here, you get some stuff and find some stuff that helps you. Take care. (Sorry about over-using "stuff," feeling drained, so it goes.):wave:

You sound a lot like me. Your regular doctor probably is not knowledgable enough about treating BP so i would recommend a Psychaitrist. You will more than likely need medication. Unfortunately because everyone is so different, you may have to try a few meds or combos to get the right balance. Just know that the right combo will calm the rage and take the unbearable depression away. I have been on medication for almost 7 years and am completely stable. My rage is gone and I no longer get depressed. I get bummed, but nothing like it was before I was medicated. In conjunction with medication, I would also recommend a therapist. Although I am stable and truthfully have no issues, it helps incredibly to talk to someone who knows the intracacies of BP. I've read alot of great advice here and even though I'm fairly new here myself, I've been living with this for 20 years. It can be better.

Shelliek sums it up very well, and I agree that you need a psychiatrist (or good psychiatric nurse practioner) for the medicine, and a therapist or counselor for talking with, since the psych appointments are so short after the first consultation. And don't be satisfied with a psych that doesn't take that time on the first consult, for the harm would be to you, and you deserve the best treatment possible.

Thanks for the replies, I will go and see a psych hopefully on Monday, like I said I need to act fast since now my job is in jeapordy. Before the energy supplements, I rarely had any rage or high days at all, it was mainly just down and I never cared about anything. But when I did have my high days, which like I said was rare, I was all out, I mean managers questioned my usage of speed, and I actually scared a few people because of how I was acting. The weirdest thing was the fact that though I train as a fighter, its only for sport, not street fighting, and yet I would go toe to toe with anyone, even authority figures.

But then I stopped taking the energy medication thinking that it wasnt working like it was supposed to, and that it was getting way too expensive for just everyday use, as opposed to supplementing a routine, like they are supposed to be used for. And when I stopped taking the supplements in general, thats when I seemed to go straight down and I was always having down days. The doctor said I had depression, gave me Prozac and it seemed the Prozac was doing what the supplements did to me, giving me extreme aggrivation, the feeling of being invincible, etc., however the Prozac made me that way all the time.

So needless to say I stopped taking it after just a few weeks, I even cut back on the dosage, it only made me a pinch more milder. When I stopped taking it I noticed I went back to being down a lot, and having some high days. Basically on an average week I seem to be down about 5-6 days, and high on 6-7. But on those high days, I am very extreme in everything I do. And I dont like it because I feel weird. And on the down days, I just dont care about anything or anyone.

You sound alot like my son...How old are you? He used those fat burners ,energy supplements , protein shakes and all that stuff in the past 2 years too...thats scary!

Im 22, and I have been using things like thermogenics, fat burners, caffine, hoodia, ginseng, nitric oxide, creatine, protein, aminos, energy supps., and ephedrine or ephedra. At one point I was taking either a normal dose, or almost a double dose of each at the same time. I would stack them all in one day, or take some on a work out day, and others on a cardio day, and none on Sundays, which was always my resting day. Believe it or not, even though I was taking all these things, I lost only a little weight, and gained a lot of strength and size, but my insides I could feel were just wasting away. Once I stopped taking all of them, now I just take an appetite depressant and vitamins, I gained a lot of fat, but still kept the muscle and strength.

I am glad I didnt loose that, I worked real hard to get big and strong, now that I am trying to be a sport fighter, I actually have to loose a little of my muscle so that I can be quicker. But I need to hang on to my strength, that helps out a lot when you need to control someone or pick them up to slam them down.

Anyways, hopefully I will be seeing a psychiatrist tommorow or atleast by Wednesday, I have to prove to my managers that there is something wrong with me. When I told them about taking online tests and they all said that is what I probably was, and I should see a doctor about it, many of them said that I shouldnt trust the tests online and that I am a normal guy that just has his good days and bad days. I tried telling them about how I get when I have a high day, and a low day, and it seemed that they didnt care. Or they thought I was just being dramatic. Oh well, once I get proof on what is wrong with me, they will hopefully back off and leave me alone.

Another thing I noticed a lot of people talking about not being able to work because of bi-polar disorder, can it really turn out to be that bad that I could loose my job or find it almost impossible to find a new one? One thing I told one of my managers is that I wanted to see a doc to see what was wrong with me so that I can fix it before I loose my job. And he agreed that I could loose my job if things didnt change with me. Just out of curiosity, can they fire me if I have bi-polar disorder? Or if I take a leave of absence am I compensated for it in any way?

In most fields you are not compensated for a leave of absence. If your company has more than 50 employees and you need to take a leave of absence, you do qualify for the Famliy Medical Leave Act (FMLA). This protects your job and allows you unpaid time off either for doctors appointments or because of your illness. Do some research on it. It saved my job when I had problems getting stable. Good luck with the doctor visit.

Living day by day with BP is a dance where you have to be constantly adjusting, paying attention to your present position, present mood. If I had knowledge of this and an adequate support net in place, I might not have felt boxed into just quitting 2 really terrific jobs. I wanted to quit before they fired me, it left me with a little bit of dignity and control. I didn't know I was BP until afterwards.

I am trying to find a job again, and have to hope that now that I am stable and better educated, if I stay on top of my symptoms, I can work, especially if the work isn't too stressful.