Hi Everyone....

Am missing my mum so much my heart feels in a million pieces, and nothing or noone is making me feel any better no matter what they say or do....all i want is my mum....my head is still in the month of october when she passed and in the summer when she was in hospital the first time.....i daren't cry and ask for help/hug from my dad as am trying to cope in front of him, in order for him to cope...i so want a hug from a parent....i feel am loosing it within myself and am just going through the motions of my life at the moment....am 37 but i feel like a child....am trying to keep it togther for my children but i've got to cry and talk or i will explode...i cry constantly....i feel this is what i thought i would have been like when she firsted passed and at her funeral but i wasn't....i feel am eight or so weeks delayed.....i haven't accepted it yet......christmas is hurting so much and am dreading new years eve.....am a nightmare for my hubby at the moment because he doesn't feel good enough for me at the moment and i so feel awful for being so selfish....but my hearts breaking, i want my mum........

Sending a thought out also to you all who are also hurting at the moment......

Meeshy
xxxx

Meeshy-
Oh sweetie, I am truly sorry for your loss. I know nothing I say will make this pain go away, but you are still grieving, and you have the right to greive however you need to. If you need to cry, then cry until you can't cry anymore. You do whatever you need to to get these feelings out. If you need to run outside and scream at the top of your lungs, or go somewhere private and throw a fit, then do it sweetie. You get the feelings out so you can begin to accept your mom's passing.

Please do remember that although she has passed, she is still with you in spirit, thought, and in your heart. Those we love the most never truly leave us. I say this to many people and will say it to you. She may even be one of your guardian angels at this moment. She would never want you to hurt like this. She would want you to find happiness and continue to live a full and happy life with your children and husband.

You have suffered a tremendous loss, and you are not being selfish at all. You are greiving. You don't need to apologize for that.

I am sending thoughts of comfort, strength and peace your way. Please take care.

Dear Meeshy,

My heart goes out to you, I wish there was something I could say or do to ease your pain. Losing your Mom so close to christmas must make it even harder, I know I'm not looking forward to waking up christmas morning without Mom being there. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to go through whatever feelings you need to go through. I remember waking up some mornings and not being able to get out of bed, I would just lie there and ask God to take the pain away. You will get through this one day at a time. It hasn't been easy for me but it's gotten a little easier(up and down). Do you have any brother's or sister's that can be with you at this time? if not try talking to someone who's been there. Reading the posts help me knowing there are people out there who genuinely care I hope they're helping you.

God Bless You.
Bill J
Toronto, Canada