fiendish
12-17-2006, 08:37 PM
I'm new here, so please forgive the long post. It's just that I'm at the end of my tether, and I don't know where else to turn.
My ex-girlfriend is bipolar. We've stayed friends since the end of the relationship, and I still care for her very much. I am well aware of the cycles people who are bipolar go through, the ups, the downs, and all that comes with it. I have experienced firsthand the sudden withdrawl and isolation of someone who is intelligent, sweet, vivacious and has a limitless heart.
Recently my ex has gone back to school (after dropping out of university, which is where we met). In September, she was brimming with enthusiasm, enthusiasm which turned to apathy by late October, and full-on depression by this month. She is despondent, and is in the midst of a depressive episode, the severity of which I can only guess at. I have noticed recently that her MSN status has been "away" for five days now. She won't answer her phone, and messages I've sent her are unreturned. I am now reaching the point where I am concerned for her safety. Now, I may be worrying over nothing, as this has happened before and she has bounced back, and I know her family takes good care of her. Still, there is a part of me that is terrified of her harming herself.
I am a librarian, and so I have undertaken massive amounts of research into bipolarity and suicide as a way of coping, and she doesn't exhibit the most common and severe risk factors: no past attempts of suicide, no substance abuse, no parent with BP (although she has been hospitalized on occasion), and she's past the age where the risk seems to be high (she's 21, but has been diagnosed for some time now, and has been through a variety of treatments). And as far as I know, she is not on medication (but has been in the past). But knowing all that does not make this easier to cope with. Is she at risk for suicide? Should I trust that she and her family know what to do (her mother watches over her like a hawk, thank God) at times like this, and that I should just stand to the side and let things take their course? I have tried to do what I can: I have told her, in no uncertain terms, that I am here for her, that she is strong, that she will get through this, everything the literature says friends should say. But I feel like that isn't enough. What else can I do, short of going to her house and asking about her (which I have not done, and don't want to do out of respect for her privacy).
I have no idea wat could have brought this on (she *may* have ended a relationship she was in, but I haven't asked). Or was school too much of a stress? How worried should I be? What should, or shouldn't I do? I care about her so much, but I feel useless and helpless in this situation. I read some of the literature, and about the mortality rates of BP sufferers, and I worry and my heart wells up with concern, but all I get from her end is silence. I am terrified, and confused, and I hope those with more experience can shed some light on this. I would be most grateful.
Thank you, and best wishes.
My ex-girlfriend is bipolar. We've stayed friends since the end of the relationship, and I still care for her very much. I am well aware of the cycles people who are bipolar go through, the ups, the downs, and all that comes with it. I have experienced firsthand the sudden withdrawl and isolation of someone who is intelligent, sweet, vivacious and has a limitless heart.
Recently my ex has gone back to school (after dropping out of university, which is where we met). In September, she was brimming with enthusiasm, enthusiasm which turned to apathy by late October, and full-on depression by this month. She is despondent, and is in the midst of a depressive episode, the severity of which I can only guess at. I have noticed recently that her MSN status has been "away" for five days now. She won't answer her phone, and messages I've sent her are unreturned. I am now reaching the point where I am concerned for her safety. Now, I may be worrying over nothing, as this has happened before and she has bounced back, and I know her family takes good care of her. Still, there is a part of me that is terrified of her harming herself.
I am a librarian, and so I have undertaken massive amounts of research into bipolarity and suicide as a way of coping, and she doesn't exhibit the most common and severe risk factors: no past attempts of suicide, no substance abuse, no parent with BP (although she has been hospitalized on occasion), and she's past the age where the risk seems to be high (she's 21, but has been diagnosed for some time now, and has been through a variety of treatments). And as far as I know, she is not on medication (but has been in the past). But knowing all that does not make this easier to cope with. Is she at risk for suicide? Should I trust that she and her family know what to do (her mother watches over her like a hawk, thank God) at times like this, and that I should just stand to the side and let things take their course? I have tried to do what I can: I have told her, in no uncertain terms, that I am here for her, that she is strong, that she will get through this, everything the literature says friends should say. But I feel like that isn't enough. What else can I do, short of going to her house and asking about her (which I have not done, and don't want to do out of respect for her privacy).
I have no idea wat could have brought this on (she *may* have ended a relationship she was in, but I haven't asked). Or was school too much of a stress? How worried should I be? What should, or shouldn't I do? I care about her so much, but I feel useless and helpless in this situation. I read some of the literature, and about the mortality rates of BP sufferers, and I worry and my heart wells up with concern, but all I get from her end is silence. I am terrified, and confused, and I hope those with more experience can shed some light on this. I would be most grateful.
Thank you, and best wishes.