"Christ"mas is almost here. I encourage everyone who has a close family member suffering from bp to love them dearly at Christmas and if you don't see them often invite them to dinner or take them a small gift to let them know you still care. Even if you don't approve of their lifestyle. I know this may be hard, but we never know when an act of love and/or kindness could change them. Not that it will, but for my kids sake I have visited their dad in jail and tried to give him hope. I nearly choked trying to get it out, but I did. I don't want him back ever, but boy wouldn't it be great if my kids if even 10 years from now could know him. We need to spend time with our families and maybe even take the time to think about those we've loved or been married to that are bp's and even if we don't have contact with them to pray for them, even if they have caused pain in our life. I have a bp ex and a bp son who is 15yo. Let's set our differences aside temporarily, atleast to remember what Christmas is really about. I take this time of year to remember that my bp ex caused me so much pain, but there were really good times and that he gave me 3 of the greatest gifts I could ever have. What? My 2 boys and my daughter. There was good that came from the chaos (for me) through that relationship, even though my kids miss their dad terribly. I don't encourage people to have kids with chaos in the picture, but I had 2 of mine before it started and 1 after. They are God's greatest gift to me and they are a part of the man that I loved so very much but after more than a decade let go of. Let's remember; if not for one day, the good that has come from those we struggle with or have struggled with so often. My son is bp and I have cried for him many times, but he has blessed my life in just as many ways. His brother and sister have tolerated some bad times(not often), but they also remember the times he has spent his allowance on them, helped them with their chores, or picked them up when they were sick or hurt. God Bless each of us who have a bp in our lives and to those of you who are bp. May the new year bring all you great joy and much more peace. I'll pray for that for each of you.

I agree ! Right now since my divorce is so fresh I keep looking at all the negatives that came from my BP wife. I'm trying to move forward with forgiving and forgetting the past as I know I did get my 2 beautful boys from the chaos and that is something I will cherish for the rest of my life. I do go to mass and pray that somehow my wife will find her path to a stable life. I also pray that my children will not have to suffer as I did.

I feel for all of us that had to live with a BP spouse or family member. I still love my wife very much and only hope she will once again love herself enough to find the right path in life. Many times Christmas is a very difficult time for BP's and I hope even though we all carry much hurt and anger we can put it aside for this brief period.

Merry Christmas to all and May God bless you in the new year.........

What wonderful thoughts. Thank you for starting this thread.

As a bp (wife and mom too), I don't think I will ever love myself nor feel loved.

Maybe just little gestures or a little support...maybe that would change things...maybe not...but it couldn't hurt.

Much love to all of you who put up with us and I wish you love and peace this holiday season.

Love, Lori