Hi, I have posted a couple of times here and received wonderful advice, but of course I chose not to listen to logic. For Christmas I bought my bipolar girlfriend a ring that she has been crying for for several weeks. It was too big and she asked if I could have it sized down. I told her when I have time I would do so. I have another problem with getting my vehicle out of an inpound yard because I had a DUI. I needed to come up with an additional $1000 so that I could have my car released. I had the initial money to get the car out, but had to work fast and borrow the $1000. My problem is this, I was told that by me not getting the ring sized down RIGHT THEN AND THERE is me being selfish. I explained to my girlfriend that I am incurring storage fees at $15.00 a day -- already for 31 days and if I don't get it out then the fees go up. I would like to know how my working to find the money to get the car out makes me selfish OR is it her bipolar attitude of her coming first? I know there is always 3 sides to every story... one side, the other side, then the truth. I also know that the ring is a big deal to her, but getting my car out of the inpound yard is a BIG deal to me. To me it is common sense that the ring can get downsized in a matter of days, because of the holidays, but my car sitting there making someone else money is a little more important. Of course when I tried to explain this to her, she went into one of her tantrums and began to tell me that I don't care about her needs and wants... once again I am the selfish one. Is this one of her manic episodes? I get confused about her highs and her lows. Can someone explain the difference to me? Thanks for all of the advice from the other threads.

I was wondering if both things cannot be done. I had to have a ring sized once and the jeweler did not charge for it. So why can't she take the ring so they can have her there to size the ring and you can do the car thing. As for the selfish thing I think men and women think differently. She should not think that because you don't do something she wants that you don't care. Sounds like there was also lack of good judgement on your part driving while drinking so now you have to pull yourself out of that hole.

well this is just the first of many more situations like this to come......if you choose to stay with her. You will be called names, called selfish, etc....everytime you attempt to meet one of your own needs.

You seem surprised, :eek: ....which surprises me because you say that you've gotten advice here before and are somewhat knowledgeable about bi-polar.
why are you so surprised? did you really think that giving her the ring would change anything? I really think you should re-think your future before you get in any deeper.