Hi Guys,

I just read a lot of happy threads and I don't mean to be a downer but I am so depressed right now. DH found out yesterday his sister is pregnant w/ her 2nd child she called him on his way home from Rugby practice. He was so upset he told me he broke down crying in the car. He didn't want to tell me until tonight b/c he was going to have meetings most of todaay didn't want to not be able to talk to me if I was upset and needed him, which was very sweet and considerate. He also told me that his best friend's wife in Argentina is also pregnant. ( he has kept that from me for a little longer hopeing we would be BFP) He says he wants to be happy for them but he can't right now, he was in too much shock. I think that is where I am in now. It is so freak'n unfair!!!!! This is the 11 friend/family member in 12 months who is pregnant!!!! How many people do I have to swallow all my pain for an congradulate before DH and I can get our turn!!! What have any of us done to desearve this kind of pain???? I'm just so tired of all this, :yawn: :eek: :dizzy: :mad: :confused: tired of feeling sad, tired of feeling frustrated and angry and tired of feeling guilty for feeling all these things.

Well thanks for listening to my complaining I am going to try to go to bed, with the exception of when I dream of babies it is my only time of peace from this IF stuff!!

kathy

Hi Kathy,

I am so sorry you are going through this right now. I too have so many friends/relatives pregnant in the last few years and every time it is hard. I've had all those feelings of anger, frustration, guilt, & why me? You are right - it is so unfair. I don't know why any of us have to endure this.

My DH has withheld some pregnancy news from me too in the past until the last possible second in hopes we'd get a BFP before he had to tell me. Although I've told him he doesn't have to do that, I think it's very sweet they try to protect us. Your DH sounds great.

I hope you have a nice peaceful baby dreaming sleep tonight and wake up feeling a bit better. Know that everyone on this board understands what you are going through.

Lori

Hi Kathy,


:eek: I'm sorry about how you've been feeling. I totally understand what you are going through. My SIL has five kids now and she gets pregnant so easily. It makes me sick to think about. My sister just had her first and it took me about a year to get over the fact that she was pregnant, now I can actually say that I am truly happy for her. I was truly broken up inside about it too. I cried for months, it was pretty awful. Oh, and a good friend of mine just found out she is pregnant with her second. It feels like people around me are constantly getting pregnant. I have had a change of attitude lately and now I feel like my turn has to be coming! I sure hope so, and I hope your turn is coming too shortly. I know how painful it is. Nobody really can understand unless they are going through it themselves. It is one of the hardest things I have had to deal with in life. I hope things get better. Keep us posted!!:angel:

Carisa

Hi Kathy,
It's 2am here in Pittsburgh and I still can't sleep and here I am reading your thread and feeling so bad not just for you but for all of us who's experiencing the same situation. I wish sometimes our friends or family whose pregnant could just zip their lips about their news especially if they know about our dilemmas. I'm just curious but do you and DH ever thought about adopting just in case if IVF doesn't work again?(praying that it will of course!)
DH and I will be attending a seminar with an adoption agency this weekend and I am so excited about it. I still have 3 frozen embies left but figure we could start the adoption process and still do the frozen transfer in a few months.
Well, I hope you and DH feel better and I'm praying that soon you will be the one with the good news for your SIL.:angel: :angel: :angel:
Tini

BIG HUGS coming to you Kathy. I totally feel your pain hon. I will never forget when my best friend told me she was pg with her 2nd and she wasn't keeping the baby (at that point, she had no idea we were TTC). My BF and I cried for hours that night. It was horrible. Life truly is not fair. I know one day it will be our turn Kathy. I don't know how it's going to happen, but it will. I hope you have a better day today. More HUGS coming your way.

Holly

Hi Guys,

Thanks for all the kind words of support :) I feel like I was doing so good and then this happens. I can't honestly say that I am that much better today. It just brings back all the pain and memories as this time last year I was so happy because I had just found out I finally was pregnant just to have it taken from me. I don't want anyone on the board who has had a BFP to think I mean any of this towards them. I know the battle they had to fight to get BFP and it's different when it happens to one of us on the board. SIL is only like 4 weeks along I really do wish they would have waited a little longer to tell us but I know that is selfish of me. I was put on the pill so it's even worse b/c I am not even going to be tryng, at the earliest Feb. I know that these feelings will subside but it won't be today :(

Tini, thanks we are defintely going to look into adoption. If all else fails by March I will start IVF, if that does not work we will start looking into adoption. If god does blesses us with a child we feel it would only be right to adopt one as well so either way we plan to adopt even if we have biological children of our own. Please let me know how the seminar goes and all you learned!! That is so great you and DH are going :)

Anyway thanks to everyone without you guys I think I would be going insane!!!

kathy