Grumps
08-24-2003, 08:26 AM
Hi Guys
I am really sorry I have not been around over the last week and also sorry I have not been my usual happy self. I am struggling at the moment and I have not Idea why. Silly things are making me really angry and my head has become very sensitive and small noises really hurt no idea what it is.
I have also had to do some hand holding for my Mum and Dad and as I am the only child there I am the only one around.
I am also getting very very broody which I am struggling to deal with - I have been told by my specialist that I should not get pregnant and I have not had a good record with pregnancies I've lost 3 babies so I guess the time has come to find out if I can have children the biggie is my partner does not want children and up to about a month ago neither did I but now I do and I guess it is because I am 32 and the clock is ticking but who knows.
In all my pregancies the babies died due to the umbilical cord not growing so they starved. However, my body did not reject and I had to be given drugs to loose them which was not nice this is also a crap time of year becuase September is the month I lost 2 of them they would be 9 years, 7 years and 1 month old by now.
For some reason I am dwelling on this a bit at the moment.
Not sure how to deal with this one it is difficult as a lot of my friends are now becoming pregnant for the first time - I guess I can relate it to when I first developed epilepsy I was 17 and most of my friends were learning to drive and when I had to stop that was hard, but you get over it.
Positive though it is a Bank Holiday in the UK tomorrow which means we get an extra lie in Fab............
Keep in touch guys and I will check in later
Lots of Love
XX
I am really sorry I have not been around over the last week and also sorry I have not been my usual happy self. I am struggling at the moment and I have not Idea why. Silly things are making me really angry and my head has become very sensitive and small noises really hurt no idea what it is.
I have also had to do some hand holding for my Mum and Dad and as I am the only child there I am the only one around.
I am also getting very very broody which I am struggling to deal with - I have been told by my specialist that I should not get pregnant and I have not had a good record with pregnancies I've lost 3 babies so I guess the time has come to find out if I can have children the biggie is my partner does not want children and up to about a month ago neither did I but now I do and I guess it is because I am 32 and the clock is ticking but who knows.
In all my pregancies the babies died due to the umbilical cord not growing so they starved. However, my body did not reject and I had to be given drugs to loose them which was not nice this is also a crap time of year becuase September is the month I lost 2 of them they would be 9 years, 7 years and 1 month old by now.
For some reason I am dwelling on this a bit at the moment.
Not sure how to deal with this one it is difficult as a lot of my friends are now becoming pregnant for the first time - I guess I can relate it to when I first developed epilepsy I was 17 and most of my friends were learning to drive and when I had to stop that was hard, but you get over it.
Positive though it is a Bank Holiday in the UK tomorrow which means we get an extra lie in Fab............
Keep in touch guys and I will check in later
Lots of Love
XX
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KittyMom
08-24-2003, 05:27 PM
Grumps,
Of course I fogive you!!! I was never mad, just worried. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. Did this happen around the time of your seizure? Don't worry sweetie (easier said than done I know)everything will work out. This is just a phase and will pass. Seizures will do a number on you physically and mentally. Weather will make you feel down too. Why? I don't know but it does.
Tell me more of how you are feeling...Please. I am worried and if I can help in any way you know I will help you. No doubt!!
I have a ton to tell but I am going to make a new post. I need some advice myself but I want you to feel better first.
Amy, are you there???
I don't think she is feeling well either. I hope this isn't contageous. I need to fix you ladies. Tell me everything and I will see what I can do.
I miss you guys and your posts. I hope you are feeling better and able to post more often. Sometimes if you get back into your usual routine you will feel better. I have just tried that reciently and it worked.
Write me and tell me more about how you are feeling. Vent it all out on me.
God Bless you,
KittyMom
Of course I fogive you!!! I was never mad, just worried. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. Did this happen around the time of your seizure? Don't worry sweetie (easier said than done I know)everything will work out. This is just a phase and will pass. Seizures will do a number on you physically and mentally. Weather will make you feel down too. Why? I don't know but it does.
Tell me more of how you are feeling...Please. I am worried and if I can help in any way you know I will help you. No doubt!!
I have a ton to tell but I am going to make a new post. I need some advice myself but I want you to feel better first.
Amy, are you there???
I don't think she is feeling well either. I hope this isn't contageous. I need to fix you ladies. Tell me everything and I will see what I can do.
I miss you guys and your posts. I hope you are feeling better and able to post more often. Sometimes if you get back into your usual routine you will feel better. I have just tried that reciently and it worked.
Write me and tell me more about how you are feeling. Vent it all out on me.
God Bless you,
KittyMom
rainonwindow
08-24-2003, 06:15 PM
Aw.....Grumps =(
That must be so hard. You are grieving for the babies you lost and wondering if you ever will have one. It must be especially difficult dealing with this when your partner is not interested in having a child.
I wish you the best
That must be so hard. You are grieving for the babies you lost and wondering if you ever will have one. It must be especially difficult dealing with this when your partner is not interested in having a child.
I wish you the best
KittyMom
08-25-2003, 10:42 AM
Grumps,
I am sorry. I haven't been around much myself and not the best person to talk to right now. My meds have been increased and I feel terrible. Sorry!!
I have never lost a child. I could not imagine how that must feel as I sit here and look at my 3 children. It must be devistating. You poor poor dear. I am sorry that you are going thru this and I am sorry that I wasn't more of a help yesterday. My life is all twisted up and confusing right now. It is not good...so please forgive me for not being very helpful and sympothetic. I am ashamed!
God Bless you sweetie,
KittyMom
I am sorry. I haven't been around much myself and not the best person to talk to right now. My meds have been increased and I feel terrible. Sorry!!
I have never lost a child. I could not imagine how that must feel as I sit here and look at my 3 children. It must be devistating. You poor poor dear. I am sorry that you are going thru this and I am sorry that I wasn't more of a help yesterday. My life is all twisted up and confusing right now. It is not good...so please forgive me for not being very helpful and sympothetic. I am ashamed!
God Bless you sweetie,
KittyMom
amydianne1
08-25-2003, 11:42 AM
Grumps,
There is NO reason to apologize, I am just SOOOOO sorry you are feeling so bad!
Just write when you feel up to it and know that we are all here for you. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this.
Hugs to you, and you are in my prayers,
Amy
There is NO reason to apologize, I am just SOOOOO sorry you are feeling so bad!
Just write when you feel up to it and know that we are all here for you. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this.
Hugs to you, and you are in my prayers,
Amy
KittyMom
08-25-2003, 01:07 PM
AMY!!!
You are back too!!?? YAY YAY THE GANG'S ALL HERE!!
How are you guys feeling today?? They increased my meds after they saw I had the gran mals. I am loopy and sleepy and a tad moody. Hmmmmmm, family will love me!!
Let me know how you ladies are doing today! I miss ya!
Lisa, where are you dear?? Everything OK??
God Bless you all,
KittyMom
You are back too!!?? YAY YAY THE GANG'S ALL HERE!!
How are you guys feeling today?? They increased my meds after they saw I had the gran mals. I am loopy and sleepy and a tad moody. Hmmmmmm, family will love me!!
Let me know how you ladies are doing today! I miss ya!
Lisa, where are you dear?? Everything OK??
God Bless you all,
KittyMom
Grumps
08-25-2003, 05:12 PM
Hi All
I'm feeling much better today apart from a stonking headache (not enough water me thinks) - had a nice bank holiday
We had a lie in until 10.30 (not for you Kitty) went to the gym did a work out and then when in the steam room and had a swim which was nice.
Did the weeks food shopping (not very exciting) and had a nice dinner and I've been watching trashy stuff on the telly which was fun.
Saturday night was Pop Idol Night (the winner for the US has just hit Britian and she is everywhere bless her) It was so funny so these people really think they can sing mmmmmmmmmmmmmm worrying. I have also been looking on the web site for Romeo and Juliet which is about to hit the West End and Simon's Mum said she would take me as a belated birthday present I love Shakespear saw a fantastic production of Macbeth last year I am an addict.
Girls let me know how you are on what was a lovely sunny Monday - Kitty what drugs are you on now babe???
Got my EEG this Saturday......... not had one for 15 years wonder if my brain is still there........ we shall see
Lots of Love
I'm feeling much better today apart from a stonking headache (not enough water me thinks) - had a nice bank holiday
We had a lie in until 10.30 (not for you Kitty) went to the gym did a work out and then when in the steam room and had a swim which was nice.
Did the weeks food shopping (not very exciting) and had a nice dinner and I've been watching trashy stuff on the telly which was fun.
Saturday night was Pop Idol Night (the winner for the US has just hit Britian and she is everywhere bless her) It was so funny so these people really think they can sing mmmmmmmmmmmmmm worrying. I have also been looking on the web site for Romeo and Juliet which is about to hit the West End and Simon's Mum said she would take me as a belated birthday present I love Shakespear saw a fantastic production of Macbeth last year I am an addict.
Girls let me know how you are on what was a lovely sunny Monday - Kitty what drugs are you on now babe???
Got my EEG this Saturday......... not had one for 15 years wonder if my brain is still there........ we shall see
Lots of Love
LisaGuthrie
08-26-2003, 10:26 AM
Hello Girls,
Still around, been moving the offices... still not under control, but closer. Moving a business is harder then my own home I believe ;)
Grumps, I'm sorry about your babies Sweetie. To mourn a childs passing is the hardest thing any parent could ever have to face. We still miss Ralphy's Brandon. It was hard for him to understand why I was so affected since he wasn't "mine" and he was 19 when we met. But, I did live with the 2 of them one summer, and he so helped Steve come out of his shell. I mourned the chance at ever having a relationship with a young man that I would have happy to call son!
Does your partner not want children (all the things that kids change in a persons life) or does he not want you to try because of your history. There is a difference.
When we lost Brandon, Ralphy kept saying that he wouldn't put me through it! I had had cervical cancer and was told that I couldn't have more, that I wouldn't be able to carry to term. But, what I heard was I don't want more children... God to care of it for us, and well, Jake is living proof that the Drs don't know everything!
I started this yesterday and didn't get it posted. Haven't checked this morning to see if it's still part of the conversation. You may also ask you neuro if there is an OB that he could send you too, that has more experiance with E Mommas. This may help your partner as well...
Hope you're feeling better!
(((Hugs)))
Lisa and Jake
Still around, been moving the offices... still not under control, but closer. Moving a business is harder then my own home I believe ;)
Grumps, I'm sorry about your babies Sweetie. To mourn a childs passing is the hardest thing any parent could ever have to face. We still miss Ralphy's Brandon. It was hard for him to understand why I was so affected since he wasn't "mine" and he was 19 when we met. But, I did live with the 2 of them one summer, and he so helped Steve come out of his shell. I mourned the chance at ever having a relationship with a young man that I would have happy to call son!
Does your partner not want children (all the things that kids change in a persons life) or does he not want you to try because of your history. There is a difference.
When we lost Brandon, Ralphy kept saying that he wouldn't put me through it! I had had cervical cancer and was told that I couldn't have more, that I wouldn't be able to carry to term. But, what I heard was I don't want more children... God to care of it for us, and well, Jake is living proof that the Drs don't know everything!
I started this yesterday and didn't get it posted. Haven't checked this morning to see if it's still part of the conversation. You may also ask you neuro if there is an OB that he could send you too, that has more experiance with E Mommas. This may help your partner as well...
Hope you're feeling better!
(((Hugs)))
Lisa and Jake
KittyMom
08-26-2003, 11:21 AM
Hello Ladies,
I am having a horrid time with this seizure business. I have had a seizure almost every-other-day. I am feeling very down and worthless. I don't know how I am going to hold even this new job. Either my work performance will be bad because of my postictals, I will have a seizure at work, or the job will increase my stress and I will have more seizures due to that. I am sooooooo down.
My doc increased my Neurontin to 600mg 4xdaily from 300mg 4xdaily. It is not doing me well. Since the increase I have had a seizure every-other day!! I should just wait until I am on this increase all the way (going up gradually)and then see how it goes but I can't sleep right. I am up 4 or 5 times a night and I am having some very strange dreams. When I am woken by one I know what it is and it takes me a few minutes to realize that it was just a dream. Then it dawns on me that it was very very STRANGE!! By morning I can't remember what the dreams are but I do know that I am tired and annoyed. My husband has been waking up in the night and asking me if I am ok. I don't know why but when morning comes and he is awake I will ask him why and he is telling me that he doesn't even remember. WHAT TO DO???
Sorry to unload on you but I don't know what to do. I think I am going to seek a second oppinion on what to do with my meds. My doc said that in two weeks if the seizures aren't better he wants to put me on Zonigran(??) or Dilantin or Depakote(??). I need to do some research. Dilantin sounds bad but not sure about the others. He wants me to start considering a VNS. NO WAY!! Sounds too scarry for me. ;)
Anyway, I am sooooo glad you had a nice bank holiday Grumps. Those happen right around our holidays. We have a 3 day weekend coming up next weekend...Labor Day. A big party weekend if you are into that but for the rest of us it is a nice extra day off to take it easy and keep the kids from killing eachother. ;)
I think we are all feeling the effects of one thing or another these past two weeks. How funny it should all happen at once.
Please write again. Miss you.
God Bless,
KittyMom
I am having a horrid time with this seizure business. I have had a seizure almost every-other-day. I am feeling very down and worthless. I don't know how I am going to hold even this new job. Either my work performance will be bad because of my postictals, I will have a seizure at work, or the job will increase my stress and I will have more seizures due to that. I am sooooooo down.
My doc increased my Neurontin to 600mg 4xdaily from 300mg 4xdaily. It is not doing me well. Since the increase I have had a seizure every-other day!! I should just wait until I am on this increase all the way (going up gradually)and then see how it goes but I can't sleep right. I am up 4 or 5 times a night and I am having some very strange dreams. When I am woken by one I know what it is and it takes me a few minutes to realize that it was just a dream. Then it dawns on me that it was very very STRANGE!! By morning I can't remember what the dreams are but I do know that I am tired and annoyed. My husband has been waking up in the night and asking me if I am ok. I don't know why but when morning comes and he is awake I will ask him why and he is telling me that he doesn't even remember. WHAT TO DO???
Sorry to unload on you but I don't know what to do. I think I am going to seek a second oppinion on what to do with my meds. My doc said that in two weeks if the seizures aren't better he wants to put me on Zonigran(??) or Dilantin or Depakote(??). I need to do some research. Dilantin sounds bad but not sure about the others. He wants me to start considering a VNS. NO WAY!! Sounds too scarry for me. ;)
Anyway, I am sooooo glad you had a nice bank holiday Grumps. Those happen right around our holidays. We have a 3 day weekend coming up next weekend...Labor Day. A big party weekend if you are into that but for the rest of us it is a nice extra day off to take it easy and keep the kids from killing eachother. ;)
I think we are all feeling the effects of one thing or another these past two weeks. How funny it should all happen at once.
Please write again. Miss you.
God Bless,
KittyMom
Grumps
08-26-2003, 05:17 PM
Hello U
Sorry you are feeling bad and crappy because of your drugs - I would deffinately seek a second opinion I sacked my Nuro cos he was sooooo crap.
Gym in the morning which means up @ 6.30 I must be MAD........ I want another bank holiday............
Kitty Babe keep smiling I will also do some research on your new drugs and see if I can find any positive stuff about them in the UK
Talk soon
Lots of Love
Sorry you are feeling bad and crappy because of your drugs - I would deffinately seek a second opinion I sacked my Nuro cos he was sooooo crap.
Gym in the morning which means up @ 6.30 I must be MAD........ I want another bank holiday............
Kitty Babe keep smiling I will also do some research on your new drugs and see if I can find any positive stuff about them in the UK
Talk soon
Lots of Love
KittyMom
08-26-2003, 10:45 PM
Thanks Grumps. Your the best! I don't need to know all of that stuff. This is what it is and that is that. I will be doomed with this crap forever. Thank you though.
Talk to you later,
KittyMom
Talk to you later,
KittyMom