larkidd
01-06-2007, 09:34 PM
I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE CHOSEN THE RIGHT CATEGORY FOR THIS, BUT COULD USE YOUR ASSISTANCE::confused:
I need some advice. This seems like a mental disorder. I have a relative who, although never been diagnosed, displays some compulsive/obsessive traits. He will call me several times a day, to the point where it has become almost scary. If I do not answer the phone, this person will continually dial and hang up. This will go on all day, until finally I will talk with him for about an hour. But that is not enough. He will call again the next day as if we never spoke. My husband and I tried to break him of this annoying habit, by tactfully pointing out that mabye we should keep the calls down to just once a month. That way as relatives, it will help us to keep a more balanced view of one another. This worked for a couple of days. But, he is now dialing me again, non-stop 24/7. This individual is disabled in that he cannot drive a car. Never developed the motor skills needed to get behind the wheel. And the family have always labeled him as "slow" or "somewhat mentally unstable". I don't want to hurt his feelings, so how can we bring it to his attention that he may have a problem. He is really coming across as "mental" with this. Okay, this guy is my Dad's brother. He is my Uncle. Can't figure out why he chose me to latch onto. For some reason I get this odd feeling that there is something weird about the way he wants to talk w/me so often. He's 59 yrs old. It's like I have to be the bigger adult here, and draw the line somewhere. PLEASE ADVISE!
I need some advice. This seems like a mental disorder. I have a relative who, although never been diagnosed, displays some compulsive/obsessive traits. He will call me several times a day, to the point where it has become almost scary. If I do not answer the phone, this person will continually dial and hang up. This will go on all day, until finally I will talk with him for about an hour. But that is not enough. He will call again the next day as if we never spoke. My husband and I tried to break him of this annoying habit, by tactfully pointing out that mabye we should keep the calls down to just once a month. That way as relatives, it will help us to keep a more balanced view of one another. This worked for a couple of days. But, he is now dialing me again, non-stop 24/7. This individual is disabled in that he cannot drive a car. Never developed the motor skills needed to get behind the wheel. And the family have always labeled him as "slow" or "somewhat mentally unstable". I don't want to hurt his feelings, so how can we bring it to his attention that he may have a problem. He is really coming across as "mental" with this. Okay, this guy is my Dad's brother. He is my Uncle. Can't figure out why he chose me to latch onto. For some reason I get this odd feeling that there is something weird about the way he wants to talk w/me so often. He's 59 yrs old. It's like I have to be the bigger adult here, and draw the line somewhere. PLEASE ADVISE!
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Sannah
01-07-2007, 09:39 AM
Maybe someone should take him to the doctor. Many older people start to have changes in their mental status and it is from an illness or a medicine side effect or interaction with another medicine.
peace1910
01-07-2007, 11:49 AM
change your phone number and don't give him the new one....that will help for awhile....you need a break.......................peace
larkidd
01-08-2007, 09:05 AM
Thank you all for your support and concern with this. I plan to try the less severe advice at first. I don't want to rob this person of his dignity, yet I don't want to be taken advantage of either. So will try the reasoning tactic at first, then if he is still irrational, I will sever any ties. His own brother (my father) has chosen to ignore his calls completely. However, I would rather tackle this problem before it gets any worse.
Again, THANK YOU FOR THE FEEDBACK! FEEL NOW THAT I HAVE A PLACE TO GO WHEN THINGS LIKE THIS COME UP. SINCE I HAVE PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED A GREAT DEAL OF FAMILY DYSFUNCTION, HOPE THAT I WILL HAVE SOMETHING TO OFFER TO OTHERS IN FUTURE.:wave:
Again, THANK YOU FOR THE FEEDBACK! FEEL NOW THAT I HAVE A PLACE TO GO WHEN THINGS LIKE THIS COME UP. SINCE I HAVE PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED A GREAT DEAL OF FAMILY DYSFUNCTION, HOPE THAT I WILL HAVE SOMETHING TO OFFER TO OTHERS IN FUTURE.:wave:
rosequartz
01-08-2007, 05:24 PM
I was going to say, can your dad help you?
but then I read that your dad ignores his calls.....
what does your dad say about the situation?
maybe he could at least talk to him for you?
but then I read that your dad ignores his calls.....
what does your dad say about the situation?
maybe he could at least talk to him for you?
larkidd
01-08-2007, 06:16 PM
In answer to how my Dad feels about this situation all I can say is that he's told me that as a child it was difficult for him because he would "stick up for" his brother when other kids made fun of them, since his brother had a hard time in school keeping up with his peers. So my father I think really just tries to turn the other way when it comes to his bro. He doesn't want to hurt him, but he won't answer when my uncle calls him. (he calls my Dad many times per day too) and since Dad won't pick up, my uncle (when i do talk w/him over phone) tries to get me to be mediator by saying "tell your Dad I said he's a jerk for not calling me back". Truth is, if Dad endures the non-stop phone harrasment, I understand in a way why he can't deal with it. This is why I chose to seek help from this site. Dad would rather not talk about it. The family all just chalk it up to the uncle being "slow". But he knows more than they give him credit for, because sometimes he will leave me a message asking me not to get mad at him for calling so much. So he recognizes at least to a certain extent that he may be annoying people.:dizzy:
SELFDIDIT2005
01-10-2007, 09:29 PM
Hey You Can Allways Block His Number So He Cant Call....lisa