i just confirmed today that someone i was dating is HIV+ and was taken a medication called crixivan or something like that for the diease. he never told me he had it even after i asked him and wanted to get tested together and because this was supposed to be a serious relationship i did slide on the condom use from time to time. (stupid me)

now after today finding out i more than likely have it i am scared. i am going to get the rapid result test tomorrow but i feel like i might as well give up cause i am almost certain he gave it too me and probably did on purpose because he knew he had the virus and did not tell me.

is there any stories of people who end up not having the diease even after numerous sexual contact with someone who has it? is there any hope?

please someone anyone? i have no where else to turn....

we had a very active sex life and like i said i was very lax. in condom useage.

the last time was new years eve so i do realize that i will have to be tested a few times with the year to get an absolute answer. but i am so frightened and upset

as for pressing charges won't my name have to be published in the papers and such AND his? i come from a small town and everyone will know and i will face discrimination if it comes out that he has it and infected me. lets face it people are not mature about things like this

nothing is befuddling me. i just don't want to be discriminated against because if i do become HIV+ thats all. we had a similar case a few years ago where this 1 man infected numerous women-all of their names was published in the news and after many complained that they were experiencing discimination and harrassment even after the case was tried and ended for years


as for how i found out? we just broke up, i found an semi empty pill bottle in his belongings which he claimed was for his mental health problems (he is bi-polar, or so he claims) and i wrote down the scripts and did a google search and one came up for people with HIV/AIDS.

he never told me he had it, was exposed to it or anything. then because it was a serious relationship we did do it a few times without anything and since he knew he was infected he did that on purpose. :eek:

i am hoping i DON'T have it and i talked to his mom and she said she had no idea he had it and said well maybe there is hope for you if the ex g/f doesn't have it and neither does the kids. the reason why i know she doesn't have it is because i contacted her after i made this discovery and she recently had a baby and she told me she didn't have it

nothing is befuddling me. i just don't want to be discriminated against because if i do become HIV+ thats all. we had a similar case a few years ago where this 1 man infected numerous women-all of their names was published in the news and after many complained that they were experiencing discimination and harrassment even after the case was tried and ended for years


as for how i found out? we just broke up, i found an semi empty pill bottle in his belongings which he claimed was for his mental health problems (he is bi-polar, or so he claims) and i wrote down the scripts and did a google search and one came up for people with HIV/AIDS.

he never told me he had it, was exposed to it or anything. then because it was a serious relationship we did do it a few times without anything and since he knew he was infected he did that on purpose. :eek:

i am hoping i DON'T have it and i talked to his mom and she said she had no idea he had it and said well maybe there is hope for you if the ex g/f doesn't have it and neither does the kids. the reason why i know she doesn't have it is because i contacted her after i made this discovery and she recently had a baby and she told me she didn't have it

i just read the questionable exposure part and it may me feel a *little* bit better but still scared. now i feel kinda funny(like sick) and i am hoping it's nerves. again i won't know for sure even with this first test and the all night wait just seems like torture because i have been going through a very bad breakup with my b/f and just feel like the HIV thing is the icing on the cake. i thank everyone who replied

just please keep me in mind because i am really going through it right now. i know people may think this is a silly thread with someone being paranoid but i am frightened that i may have it because he def has it if he is taking the medicine.

I feel for marine, it's other test you can take that can detect the virus early, but they cost like 300 dollers. God Bless You I Pray You're O'kay.Peace

I apologize that I don't have a lot to say, but you will be included in my prayers tonight.

Just know that.

God bless, and be safe.

I hope you are ok, good luck +++++

Has he told you he has HIV?

no essica he never told me. i discovered he was taking meds for it

i went to the appointment and so far i tested NEGATIVE but i got a lot of conflicting answers. because i am still in the window period i could have it and it isn't showing yet but the woman he counsellor also told me she has seen a lot of the times when people are infected they it shows up within 4 weeks of exposure, so she said she has high hopes for me and hopes the next test will be negative.

she also pointed out that if he was following the treatment carefully that the virus might be very low in his body or barely detectable which means it is even harder for me to get. (at least that is what i understood her to say)

she had plenty of stories where people were exposed numerous times and didn't get the virus so i HOPE i am one of those cases. thanks for the support. i just hate the waiting waiting waiting!

bump-can anyone verify what i was told in my post?

Hey Aqua,
Hang in there. If his ex didn't get it, then chances are you didn't either. Worrying about it will only make it worse, and it won't do any good, in fact it will only cause harm to stress over it. Just take it a day at a time and try not to think about it; staying busy with other things will help you.

It sounds like Chris has lived a long life with it, so it's not something that one can't overcome. Just try and be optimistic. And don't diagnose yourself with it; I thought I had it and the stress and anxiety nearly killed me. I havn't been tested yet but I don't let it run my life anymore. Stay calm, and please DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT; for your own good.
Be well...

Hi Marine my sister's hiv specilist told me the same things when i was worried about my sister's blood geting on me. The specilist showed us her chart we were all there together and she assured me over and over that i couldn't get it from my sister, because she takes her medication and she is undectable.Her CD4 numbers were very good all that docter said her nubers were just as high as a regular person. I hope this helps.God Bless You.

Marine i forgot to mention my sister has had it for 18 years and she never sick. That doctor told her if she don't stop eating so much that will hurt her but not hiv. She's in good good health she just eat alot. But as far as hiv she is consider a survior.

Hi

My dr told me the same thing Aqua, he siad people who have HIV show within 4-6 weeks,he also said the risk is something like less than 1% if you sleep with someone with HIV so it is quite a hard virus to catch.

BREEZY i am trying so hard NOT to think about it, especially all the gray area with him NOT telling me. i know better than to not use condoms but i got caught up in the heat of passion and slipped up.

essica and motherlove that is great news for me and i hope it rings true in my case.

thanks for the support everyone :)

i finally broke down and called my ex and confronted him

he admitted he has HIV and has had it for some time but because of the medicine he is undetectable. he claims the ex, her mom and selected family members knew and that he didn't tell me because he has been undetectable for years. still not a good enough excuse NOT to tell me but again i was the fool who help break the "no glove, no love" rule so this partly rests on my head

i am still upset but he swears up and down that my chances of getting infected are very very small. maybe so but he could have said something.

i am not sure how to feel about this situation at all especially all the emotional fallout from me being worried about being infected :dizzy:

I don't care what that dude say thats just wrong. The viral load being undectable in the blood has noting to do with how much virus is in sprem. This sadden me inside that a person would do this to another person. God Bless You and i'm thinking about you and praying for you.:angel: :angel: :angel:

What the hell!!! I am so sorry Aqua, that you have to go threw this. What was that guy thinking. That makes me so angrey to think there are people out there so selfish, that he would not tell you something like that. I hope for your sake that you did not contract it. I have heard of many people having encounters for years with an HIV + person, and not contracting the virus. But that guy needs to be stopped. I read your post that you are from a small town and such, but what if he does it again to someone else. If you can find it in your heart to tell someone so that it stops I would. What he did is wrong. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. I will pray for you Aqua. I can only imagine what you are going threw. I hope you told him off when you confronted him. Good luck my friend, GOD BLESS YOU! Keep your chin up. Please keep us updated. :) :angel:

Hi Marine how are you doing today i hope o'kay.

HI hun,
I know I'm a little late, but I definetly want you to know you're in my prayers. I'm really sorry about your situation...but you seem like a really, really strong person, and I'm sure you know that once you get through this, life is going to be just amazing...Just remember, that while you're waiting in your window period you have all of us to talk to...you've made it past the first hurdle, and it only gets easier:-)

You are in my prayers, please keep us updated.

i am doing better than last week since now it has sunk in that i can't do anything. either i have it or don't. i hope for my sanity i don't though.

when i confronted him i was hopping mad because i gave him a chance to fess up before i said "well i looked up your pills online".

anyway he keeps telling me he wanted to tell me but felt that he couldn't. his ex claimed that she didn't know if he had it or not (i confronted her since they have children together) but i know that is a lie because i went through his stuff again in one of her letters she mentions that with her last kid she was scared that the both may have gotten infected. but according to him neither the kid nor the ex has it

anyway he claims he is healthy and the stuff he is taking works well which is why he hasn't gotten sicker and its nearly impossible to pass it to someone. even if that is true he should have told me. he could tell me other stuff but not that and that was the most important thing he needed to tell me so he could me the chance to decide whether i wanted to still have sex with him.

well still keep me in your prayers because i won't know for sure if i have it or not until the end of march at the latest.

i was with my X for 3 years. he got sick all of a sudden after a year i was with him without protection. he had a rash on his back and his eye was Cross sided.
took him to the ER and they did all kinds of test.
a couple week after all the test i asked him if he was given an HIV test and he said YES. for some reason i got really sick!!! i had a bad feeling.
well we went to get his results and his came back HIV Positive!
i went thru hell because all i kept thinking was i have it. i got literally sick!!
felt bad for him also because he never knew he had it.
well i was testest right away and i was Negative. i was tested again in 6 months and still N. BTW I'm no longer with him and it has nothing to do with him being HIV.

last time i was tested was in December ....2 years after being with him and i'm still Negative!!!

the doctors say I'm fine but its always gonna be in the back of my mind.
i haven't dated anyone since because if i tell him i was with someone who has HIV im afraid of what they will say to me and i know they would leave me.
i hope everything will be fine with you and i no exactly what your going thru.
let us no how your doing.:)

Hi Marine, how you holding up? you've have been exposed t0 hiv if i was you i would asks my doctor for a pcr test . The :angel: one was just appoved for cases like yours. It picks up earliy infections. In the meantime i'm praying for you. God Bless You. And all that information that guy told you in his head is wrong. It doesn't matter if the viral load is undectectable he can still infect another person. I don't know where the hell he gets his information from. Why would he even want to have unprotected sex with someone and he knows he has that diseases he is full of mess. God Bless and Good Luck. Peace.:angel:

i was with my X for 3 years. he got sick all of a sudden after a year i was with him without protection. he had a rash on his back and his eye was Cross sided.
took him to the ER and they did all kinds of test.
a couple week after all the test i asked him if he was given an HIV test and he said YES. for some reason i got really sick!!! i had a bad feeling.
well we went to get his results and his came back HIV Positive!
i went thru hell because all i kept thinking was i have it. i got literally sick!!
felt bad for him also because he never knew he had it.
well i was testest right away and i was Negative. i was tested again in 6 months and still N. BTW I'm no longer with him and it has nothing to do with him being HIV.

last time i was tested was in December ....2 years after being with him and i'm still Negative!!!

the doctors say I'm fine but its always gonna be in the back of my mind.
i haven't dated anyone since because if i tell him i was with someone who has HIV im afraid of what they will say to me and i know they would leave me.
i hope everything will be fine with you and i no exactly what your going thru.
let us no how your doing.:)


that is the same way i feel. he made a point never to tell me but told his other g/f's. now i have it in my mind that if i do have it no one will date me ever and if i don't have it and fess up that i once dated someone that was HIV+ that the reaction is going to be negative. i know someone who has had the virus for at least 10yrs or more and she hasn't had a serious date in those years. everytime she finds someone she likes and they want to have a sexual relationship she tells them and they run for the hills. its clear she is lonely but unfortunately no one really wants to date someone that is HIV+. factor in race and socio-economic status and some people don't have a chance in hell of ever having a relationship with someone. sorry.

i feel like i am stuck with this person no matter what at this time, even if i don't want to be with him. i don't understand how people can be so careless and mean. i actually don't even know what to think.

motherlove how do i get a pcr test? i went to the dept of health and explained the situation and no the most they said they could do was the rapid result test. i don't have health insurance now so is there a way i could get it cheaply or for free?

the viral load situation sounded like a bunch of BS to me and i asked him if he would give me permission to speak to his doctor and so far he never did it. he still thinks the chances of him passing it to me were very low because according to him was careful not to ejaculate in me but again if there is virus in pre-ejaculate what difference would that make? maybe he is in denial about his illness.

Hi Marine, it depends on where you live if you can get it for free.I'm in the USA here in some states they give the hiv naattest, it can pick up earily infections after like 12 days. The pcr you can take after 28 days it has some false pos and it costs alot.But alot of people still take it cost 200-300 and you get the results in about 3-5 days.I hope this helps if it was me i would take it even though most people don't recommed it, because it's so sensitive. Im praying for you. Peace.:angel: :angel: :angel:

Marine, that test is a RNA pcr test. It was appove by the FDA in November, for real exposers like yours. I hope you're feeling better, i know it must be very hard for you right now. God Bless You and keep us posted. Peace.:angel: :angel: :angel:

how can i get this test other than shelling out $300 for it? my job situation doesn't really allow me to pay such a large sum. yes it would bring me peace of mind but i really don't have that kind of money now.

Hi Marine, it depends on where you live. Some clinics in the USA give the naat test for free. Where do you live? some clinics that are funded by the health department will give the test for free. I would also call around to some hospitals and explain the sitution and see if they will have the prc test alot of places use them now even though they don't recommend them, because of false pos. God Bless You and hang in their i will check in again today to see where you live.Peace.:angel: :angel: :angel:

Hi Marine, you should be able to find a places in New York that will do the naat hiv test. Call around to hosipals and clinics and explain your sitiation. They mainly offer the naat test in areas where it's a big gay community or a black community where there is a high risks of hiv infections.Like here in Califonia they offer the test in HollyWood and San Fransico, because they these or high risks areas at least they say. Marine if it's been 6-weeks allready you can go and get a test now and it will be a good indication of what your results will be at 3 months alot of clinics are saying this now. If it's been 6-weeks you can go to hivtest.org the test comes back in 20 mins. God Bless You and keep us posted. Peace.:angel: :angel: :angel:

I think the ex boyfriend who knowingly exposed you to HIV should pick up the tab for everything related to this situation.
An ex boyfriend gave me a Hep C scare (he was cheating on me with a girl who had Hep C) and I made him pay for all testing. At first he didn't want to, but I gave his dad (who was his boss, loved me and was apalled that his son was a cheater) a call and my ex changed his tune. He called me up to apologize and offered to pay for everything the next morning shortly after he arrived to work.
There may be laws on the books that would subject your ex boyfriend to attempted murder charges for not disclosing his HIV+ status to you.
You are in my thoughts.

sorry it took so long to reply-i was having problems getting on this msb for some reason

motherlove-i live in NY and i told the worker at the health dept what my situation was and was not offered any other options outside of the rapid test. if anything i felt like her feeling on my problem was it was my fault for taking a chance and going unprotected. yes i always used condoms in the past but this time i got lazy because this is (or was i should say) a serious relationship and we had been together a year. of course i felt like 1 fool after answering the questions. i understand why they ask but i just didn't like the tone of the questions and maybe because of the situation i was being very sensitive but even in my sensitivity i understood what she was getting at.

tzu-i would have a greater odds winning the lotto than getting money from him because he is going on disability for an unrelated problem and is broke from being under employed for so long.

i am still very mad about all this and although people will say having a positive test won't be the end of the world i can't help but feel negative. i have no health insurance now and can't even afford to pay for the premiums on my own. so if i do have it how can i even be assured that i will be able to get affordable and adequate health care, especially if i am don't fit in the current income brackets to get any type of affordable care now? also i am scared of being judged, especially after getting tested and feeling that the worker was judging me because of my choice to unprotected sex with someone i was dating for a year. this whole situation sucks!!!

today i am supposed to go back and get retested and of course i am scared to death. he is somewhat on the fense because he still thinks his chances of passing it were nil but if i did contract it, it means i have to pay a high choice for his carelessness and my stupidity. i should know in this day and age you can't have unprotected sex

i keep trying to tell myself that since his ex and their kids don't have the virus (he never pulled out with her or used a condom) that maybe i can escape with my health intact.

hello ,i'm a bit late but your story is pretty close to mine,i was with my partner for over a year and one night of not using a condom did me in. all i will say is your life isn't over if your positive and you will be able to get thru it.
the trust factor is a big reason this is spread,if people were more honest less of this would happen,but being selfish is a big reason this happens and will continue to do so. i will pray for you that you will be ok and get thru this and my advise would be to stay away from this person,as i found out once you can't trust someone that it will bite you harder the next time.good luck and i will be pulling for ya :)

smiteler, sorry to hear what happened to you. people are so disgusting....


well this week was the 4th week since my last exposure and my test came back negative which i was told was a very good sign but i was told to come back at the end of march because that would end the window period. i got the mouth swab test (which i didn\'t even know existed) so i guess i am almost in the clear!

thanks for the well wishes

Very Good News Marine.Peace.:angel: :angel: :angel:

Marine, I would not feel to bad about that person at the place where you went to get tested. You don't have to explain yourself to them, me or anybody. People make mistakes and whoever that was at the clinic should be a little bit more sensitive about these things. It wasn't like you had a one night stand, you had been with this guy before. IT is that idiot that put you in this position. Truthfully when I first met my husband I only used a condom once or twice. After that I was like well I am home free and Luckily neither of us had anything but come on this is the 21st Century. I am sorry it just bugs me that you are already coming down hard on yourself and to have this creep who should be helping you, makes you only feel worse really ticks me off. Well I am glad the 4 week test came back negative. Keep your hopes up and just keep praying that's all you can do. Good luck my friend and God bless. :angel:

Aqua,i'm in the same boat as you,i recently hooked back up with an,ex-boyfriend after a year! We been broken up for a yr.dated for 3 yrs.Ok we had un-protected sex oral,and vaginal sex.Last encounter was Feb 25,i've been feeling sick a week after our encounter.....the night after our encounter he gave me a call,and start talking mean and cruel to me,saying he's back with his young girlfriend,i was like i know you never left i was just a bootycall or sex thing.So i got on the subject and said,i made a doctor's appointment i hope i don't have anything,other then what i have already? which is,heptitis b,from a pervious relationship before him he knows about that and we still wore no condoms.Then he was like i could have gonnerra i was like what?then i said i hope you or your girl don't have hiv,and he laughed i was serious and you don't do you?He was like no,if i did he will be in jail for murder.He's the type of person who does'nt take life serious maybe bipolar many mental disorders,i am scared for my life also i got tested test came back negative but i have symtoms of hiv.So good luck to you,i hope you are negative as well as me and everyone else on the boards who's going through the samething!

I personally know a couple, (male male) where one is positive and the other is not. They have a true loving relationship, and as stupid as this may sound, have agreed to infect the non-infected just so there is no worry, and he can get the medication and they won't have this "distance" between them. I think it's been about 4 years now, of them having CONSTANT unprotected sex, and the negative one is STILL negative...Strange? If you have sex with someone who is positive, you may in fact be negative, BUT, you may also be positive...As far as pressing charges, you need to first!!! FIRST get tested, and find out your status, if it comes back positive, yes, it's considered a felony in some states. It's not going to be under the table, many will find out, and you will have to deal with that. AIDS/HIV is a protected class, so you may be personally judged, but in the big picture, you wont get, lets say, turned down for a car loan because your positive. Get tested Get tested, GET TESTED...It's all you can do at this point....seriously, do some yoga, do a lot of it, it's helping me in my "waiting" period, and focus on the "happy" things...easier said than done, but, trust me, I know what you're going through...as smielter would say," it's not the end of the world" if you are, which is completely true... Chin Up, Chest Out, and basically, smile...:p

this last reply made me think. why does anyone else HAVE to know? if u are not going around spreading this illness, why should any one else have to know u have it?? i think that is personal.

anyway, aqua, did u got for another test?

i tested at 6 months neg, but have many symptoms, infact going to ID for the 1st time, april 2nd.

i hope things are better

hi.

this is my first time writing anything on this board. but reading your story made me want to give u some incouragment. me and my boyfriend were together for 8 years when we found out he was hiv+. right away i was convince that i had it because we never used comdoms. so right away i was tested and thank god i was neg.it has been three years now and i'm still neg. i have recently been tested two months ago and i'm still hiv neg. my boyfriend and i are still together but now we uses condoms every the time. i just wanted u to know that it is possible that u are neg. regardles of repeated exposure. just know that thru god all things are possiable

GOD BLESS

this is my first time to post message on this site and run to see your question. Your are brave. :)

i just confirmed today that someone i was dating is HIV+ and was taken a medication called crixivan or something like that for the diease. he never told me he had it even after i asked him and wanted to get tested together and because this was supposed to be a serious relationship i did slide on the condom use from time to time. (stupid me)

now after today finding out i more than likely have it i am scared. i am going to get the rapid result test tomorrow but i feel like i might as well give up cause i am almost certain he gave it too me and probably did on purpose because he knew he had the virus and did not tell me.

is there any stories of people who end up not having the diease even after numerous sexual contact with someone who has it? is there any hope?

this last reply made me think. why does anyone else HAVE to know? if u are not going around spreading this illness, why should any one else have to know u have it?? i think that is personal.

anyway, aqua, did u got for another test?

i tested at 6 months neg, but have many symptoms, infact going to ID for the 1st time, april 2nd.

i hope things are better

If you are NOT having sex, or kissing, or having oral - no one has to know, you just have to be careful. HOWEVER... If you are to have sex for fun thinking you are going to use protection then I think you should tell them. Explain it to them, but yes inform them. b/c there are accidents that DO happen.

So .. It's personal sure, but also deadly. MOST people are not comfortale HAVING it. It's like sticking a knife into someone's leg, no it won't kill you right away but eventually you will bleed to death. So if you are positive and plan on being intimate with someone, it's THEIR right to know and YOUR *obligation* to tell them. It's NOT a "cold virus". Sure there are meds to control it, but why should someone go through all that hell and emotional pain b/c some idiot didn't want to get "too personal" to tell them they have hiv. Sure, some people live for many decades, but some people are so weak to it they die within a few years. You just don't rob a bank and get away with it, there's always a price to pay. :rolleyes:

Hi, Marine. I was just reading your story b/c Im also finding myself in a situation like yours, but I'm so scared to get tested. But I've made up my mind to do it no later than the end of this month. My b-day is in June, and I really want to celebrate having this off my chest. My anxiety levels have been so high.

If I was dating someone who told me he was postive I would not hold that against him, and I would continue to date him If I cared for him. I messed up and didnt use condoms 100%, but they are very effective and especially if they are keeping their viral load down w/ meds. But if I had it, I would def look for a support group to meet people b/c Im afraid people would very well judge me in a negative way.

I'm glad to hear you're almost in the clear, but keep us posted. Either way, your life wont be over because of hiv, at least thats the pep talk I keep giving myself. There are plenty ways to keep your immune system strong, and keeping a postive attitude is one of them.

I Would Never Never Never Expose Somone. I Am Talking About Someone's Personal Info Staying That. I Am Thankfully Negative. But If I Wasn't, (keep In Mind I Definitely Would Not Take The Chance Of Exposing Anyone Knowingly) I Feel That It Would Be My Right To Privacy.

Face It There Are Some People That Would Judge You (not Me!!!!!!!) And That's Why I Feel This Way. Personally, I Am Not That Way. I Would Hold Nothing Against Anyone, I Was Just Curious If There Was Anyone Here Who Was Going Through This In Secretcy?