hyper79
01-14-2007, 04:42 PM
I was wondering do you feel like you are creating your anxiety,It's a puzzled question and my may have misworded this question. I have not worked in 7 months due to Anxiety and the 4 years on the job were a nitemare I sunk in to a bad depression I hope I never see again.I now have a fear of working, the thought makes me anxious!! I lost 2 jobs prior to my last job,I guess I am afraid of the symptoms when they come at work, my last job was a truck driver and there was no safe place.I do not make future plans if I do when the time arrives I'm to sick to go but I usually do well on the spur of the moment plans like in the next 5 minutes.My wife wants me to go to disney world for a week but I know I will be in misery,sick and no fun!Usually if it involves "doing" I feel super anxious.I have tons of books on the disorder and study programs and understand all that they are saying but I can not put them to use, none of the recovery methods, my wife says I'm doing this to myself and I beleive I am but I cant get it through my skull as how.My counceler has tried to push me into and past my fears, my last visit he said say the heck with it get a job and hang in there till you pass out, just dive in? Harsh method to me, till I pass out!Since I have been out of work I have been inside 80% of the time and socializing has become hard on some days.On occasions I can give good advice on others post but I can not seem to use the advice on my self.All this mess started 5 years ago with a stinking panic attack and has evolved to depression, a BAD BAD case of health obsession, social anxiety, it has dibilitated me big time .I do try to exercise, to look at me I'm in ok shape but I go for a long walk and focus on how tired I am getting, my breathing or I should not be this tired for my age of 33, I do smoke and know the bad effects and worry I have cancer or something the doctors overlooked ,but all say I'm in excellent health after hundreds of test xrays many bw's mri's ect.I have left the doctors alone because I have wasted enough money on nothing and walking out feeling stupid!Some days few and far between I feel ok and cured in a sense almost like I never had the problem but it always returns full force! I do take klonopin as needed and take elavil for sleep, tried all the ssris with negative effects on the all.Anyone have an experience like this or any ideas I can try,I feel like I am getting worse.I have lots of neat hobbies but I cant get any happiness out of anything anymore because of my symptoms, maybe I still have a low grade depression or am going crazy.I am prescribed klonopin .5mg 3 X daily but only take it as needed, should I try it as prescribed? I dont want to get hooked to a drug and add to my worries. thanks for any replys and do you have a similiar story where it has put your life to a halt
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ocdengineer
01-14-2007, 05:03 PM
The prescription was for a purpose. If your doctor intended you to take is "as needed", he would have prescribed it that way. There are reasons why doctors don't prescribe Benzo's as needed. For instance, if you take it 3x daily the drowsiness wears off quickly never to be seen again. Also, taking it as needed doesn't keep the drug in yoru blood stream constantly which allows panic and anxiety to get at you between doses. I personally would avoid Klonopin because I have heard it can cause mild depression and it sounds like you are there. Xanax or Ativan would probably be better, but give it a shot before you quit using it.
I take Xanax 2mg per day. It has changed my whole life. I feel 100% better most of the time, but still have some days when I don't feel well. Very rarely do I have bad days in comparison to before. Your therapist is correct, you need to throw yourself into the world and keep yourself busy. You probably have too much time on your hands to brood about how horrible anxiety dissorder is. I did the same thing, so take no offense.
Take the Klonopin like the doctor prescribed and give it a week. You should start feeling better. Then I would look into cognitive behavioral therapy or meditation as a method to help you with your thought control etc.
You can't beat the disease. You will have it for the rest of your life, but what is worse. Worrying about how a drug is going to affect you or never getting to go on vacation with you family? Try the Klonopin and see what happens and if that doesn't work try Ativan or Xanax. Lay off the SSRI's because it sounds like all they do is cause you grief. Again, same thing here. I have tried them all and had horrible side effects with all of them.
Quit smoking
Quit drinking
Quit caffeine
I had to quit them all before I could even begin to find out how to fix my problem.
Exercise as much as you can
meditate and use cbt to relax
This should help you a lot.
Good luck,
OE
I take Xanax 2mg per day. It has changed my whole life. I feel 100% better most of the time, but still have some days when I don't feel well. Very rarely do I have bad days in comparison to before. Your therapist is correct, you need to throw yourself into the world and keep yourself busy. You probably have too much time on your hands to brood about how horrible anxiety dissorder is. I did the same thing, so take no offense.
Take the Klonopin like the doctor prescribed and give it a week. You should start feeling better. Then I would look into cognitive behavioral therapy or meditation as a method to help you with your thought control etc.
You can't beat the disease. You will have it for the rest of your life, but what is worse. Worrying about how a drug is going to affect you or never getting to go on vacation with you family? Try the Klonopin and see what happens and if that doesn't work try Ativan or Xanax. Lay off the SSRI's because it sounds like all they do is cause you grief. Again, same thing here. I have tried them all and had horrible side effects with all of them.
Quit smoking
Quit drinking
Quit caffeine
I had to quit them all before I could even begin to find out how to fix my problem.
Exercise as much as you can
meditate and use cbt to relax
This should help you a lot.
Good luck,
OE
hyper79
01-14-2007, 05:48 PM
hi thanks for the advice, to do spend more time looking for a cause or dwelling on my problem "researching"and I do feel down/depressed after the klonopin wears off,I will try it as prescribed to keep it constant. I have heard more good about zanax and my pdoc has mentioned it as another med besides the klonopin and even offered but told her I would continue the klonopin.I have to see her on the 17th of this month and will ask about it and accept the prescription.I will try to quit the cigs, as well as the caffine which I'm a coffee lover, just glad I dont drink but one is bad as the other.to look at my post and your reply I guess Im not putting forth the effort to get out this hole as I should.thanks a heap for the positive advice I needed it.Maybe I'll head out for a peaceful walk or chatch up on my neglected chores.:)
shorebird
01-14-2007, 06:15 PM
Ask your doctor to refer you to a cbt specialist or group. They will teach you exercises that are very helpful for overcoming anxiety.
hyper79
01-14-2007, 06:25 PM
I think and I may be wrong but the place I go to which is a state clinic do have programs in group settings, Ill ask at my appt,I think I have been getting cognitave thearpy if my spelling is correct and the counsler I have been seeing for quite a while has done nothing, they have like 6 others in there office,I may ask for a change and dump him especially seeing Im not improving. thanks
ocdengineer
01-14-2007, 08:39 PM
Good luck Hyper79. Your last posts are the attitude you have to have. Remember anxiety can't hurt you, so you have nothing to fear. The CBT will help quite a bit and the exercise is pretty helpful as well. Please keep us up to date on your progress.
Remember, everyone on this board has been where you are right now, so please don't hesitate to throw out questions you need answers to. There are a lot of knowlegable people here that have really helped me and I and they have no problem helping you out. Anxiety dissorder is tough to beat, but it can be done, so keep after it man!
Where did you work by the way that you had such a horrible experience?
Later,
OE
Remember, everyone on this board has been where you are right now, so please don't hesitate to throw out questions you need answers to. There are a lot of knowlegable people here that have really helped me and I and they have no problem helping you out. Anxiety dissorder is tough to beat, but it can be done, so keep after it man!
Where did you work by the way that you had such a horrible experience?
Later,
OE
hyper79
01-14-2007, 09:00 PM
hi, it was a local private run company I drove for,one of the most physical jobs I ever had as well as mental.I'll keep this post updated on progress. Thanks guys!!
PeskyRabbit
01-14-2007, 09:45 PM
Hi Hyper,
When I read your original post, I could just feel your pain through your words. I can tell that you are very frustrated and hurting a lot right now. I hope you know you can always turn to your fellow anxiety sufferers here. We may not have all the answers, but we do know how you feel. I just hated hearing how much you are suffering. I sense that you would like to be able to work again and enjoy your life with your family. Don't give up! There's still lots of options. I know how you feel when you say you keep wasting money. I've been to lots of doctors, bought lots of books, and wasted many dollars on prescriptions that I never had the courage to take. Still, we can't give up. There are lots of better days ahead....it's just finding the treatment that works. I think if you could find the right therapist that CBT would really work for you. Maybe you just aren't connecting well with the person you are currently seeing? I know it's really hard, but I've been finding that invisioning success and feeling better in my mind has been helping me lately. Every day, I try to take a few minutes to picture in my mind what life would be like if I could cope well with my anxiety and feel better again. Like OE said, we're stuck with this disorder, but managing it well is the key.
I do think we create our own anxiety at times. It's like a big snowball that just grows and grows. It starts out little, like you said when you had a panic attack and then it continues to build on our fears and worries. I've been reading in Anxiety and Phobia Workbook that the key is to retrain our brains to not react the way it has been. It suggests that having that initial attack and then building on it causes our brains to start reacting that way to everything. If we could just retrain our brains to not react that way, we'd be feeling better. I know that sounds so much easier than it is, but that's it in a nutshell. Do you have that book or one like it that walks you through some exercies that can help you work through some of this? I have suffered for many years, and it really is helping me feel better lately. Even my husband says he's noticed a change in me. I had read some similar books in the past, but I think the difference now is that I was determined for them to work this time. I guess before I wasn't really doing all the steps they suggested or spending enough time on the relaxation techniques. I think they help a lot too. At first, I didn't they they would, but I made myself do them every day anyway. I'm certainly not cured by any means, but I am feeling some improvement.
I really think you can do it! Hang in there and please keep us posted on how you're doing. Do you have a good support system in your family?
By the way, I totally agree with you that having too much time to dwell on the physical symptoms and the anxiety disorder just makes you feel worse. There for awhile, I was stuck in this phase where I was worrying about worrying! I was just fixated on my anxiety problem and what I was going to do about it. I know I felt worse every day from it. It's hard to break that cycle too.
Do you think driving for another company might help? Was it something about the job you were doing itself that made your anxious? Is there another type of job you would enjoy more?
When I read your original post, I could just feel your pain through your words. I can tell that you are very frustrated and hurting a lot right now. I hope you know you can always turn to your fellow anxiety sufferers here. We may not have all the answers, but we do know how you feel. I just hated hearing how much you are suffering. I sense that you would like to be able to work again and enjoy your life with your family. Don't give up! There's still lots of options. I know how you feel when you say you keep wasting money. I've been to lots of doctors, bought lots of books, and wasted many dollars on prescriptions that I never had the courage to take. Still, we can't give up. There are lots of better days ahead....it's just finding the treatment that works. I think if you could find the right therapist that CBT would really work for you. Maybe you just aren't connecting well with the person you are currently seeing? I know it's really hard, but I've been finding that invisioning success and feeling better in my mind has been helping me lately. Every day, I try to take a few minutes to picture in my mind what life would be like if I could cope well with my anxiety and feel better again. Like OE said, we're stuck with this disorder, but managing it well is the key.
I do think we create our own anxiety at times. It's like a big snowball that just grows and grows. It starts out little, like you said when you had a panic attack and then it continues to build on our fears and worries. I've been reading in Anxiety and Phobia Workbook that the key is to retrain our brains to not react the way it has been. It suggests that having that initial attack and then building on it causes our brains to start reacting that way to everything. If we could just retrain our brains to not react that way, we'd be feeling better. I know that sounds so much easier than it is, but that's it in a nutshell. Do you have that book or one like it that walks you through some exercies that can help you work through some of this? I have suffered for many years, and it really is helping me feel better lately. Even my husband says he's noticed a change in me. I had read some similar books in the past, but I think the difference now is that I was determined for them to work this time. I guess before I wasn't really doing all the steps they suggested or spending enough time on the relaxation techniques. I think they help a lot too. At first, I didn't they they would, but I made myself do them every day anyway. I'm certainly not cured by any means, but I am feeling some improvement.
I really think you can do it! Hang in there and please keep us posted on how you're doing. Do you have a good support system in your family?
By the way, I totally agree with you that having too much time to dwell on the physical symptoms and the anxiety disorder just makes you feel worse. There for awhile, I was stuck in this phase where I was worrying about worrying! I was just fixated on my anxiety problem and what I was going to do about it. I know I felt worse every day from it. It's hard to break that cycle too.
Do you think driving for another company might help? Was it something about the job you were doing itself that made your anxious? Is there another type of job you would enjoy more?
hyper79
01-14-2007, 10:51 PM
Hi thanks PeskyRabbit, actually I have the full Lucinda Bassett Attacking Anxiety/depression Program a friend got me last year,I tried to rush it and pack 15-16 weeks into 2 weeks, it has some good relaxation methods but I just never took the time to really put forth effort,perhaps I should.You sound like me with the meds,I have bought many just to flush down the toilet, heck one of them may had worked?I think it is a matter of me accepting the fact this is me now and not who I was in the old photos In our album, it is amazing how life "happy go lucky" can change so fast but I guess Ill have to move forward.I am well skilled in the mechanical field but jobs in the area are slim, the driving job was not a job I wanted by choice,I already had a cdl and was in need of fast $$ after I lost my home and everything else with a new born it was tough but never thought I would be there for 4 years.My family is very supportive but they are puzzled on what to do to help.
langy
01-15-2007, 07:15 AM
hi ive had anxiety disorder for over 15 years with cbt i got so well i was 90% cured and was living again and enjoying things. ive worked for 18 years at the same job and upto 6 years ago hid it i dont know how but 4yrs ago i had to take 10 mnths off even though i wasnt at my worst i just couldnt cope as well i did get back to work and yet again got well never as good as when i had my cbt but living again and now im off again its ever since my dad died 4 months ago and like you im so frustrated and down. i get so fed up knowing that i get well for so long then it always comes back and i have to start the fight to get well all over again.all i can say is that i feel exactly how you do so i understand.
hyper79
01-15-2007, 01:05 PM
hi, I have hid my problem pretty well to up until a few weeks before getting fired from my job.I covered it up with the flu, back trouble ect..I finially went to visit my boss at his house and told him, he said he understood and he would work with me and if I needed some time off I would get it, well he sure gave it to me!! I was happy to get fired and the first 2 weeks not having to go there I felt super but as you said it come back,I even told mt p-doc I was cured, that it was the job.I do not think any one understands what true depression /anxiety feels like, to wake up and face a unknown fear every day, to toss and turn in bed to the wee hours only to get up and struggle another day at work, it burns you out and to avoid friends and family or even church members that come to see you,I have even had my wife to lie for me which she hates to do.There is alot more to the disorder than people think.I do have the good days or what I call teasers where I can go into walmart get what I need and get out with any symptoms but then there is those days where I will pass a store 2 or 3 times trying to muster up the courage to finially park sat there,hope I see no one I know and sneak in weak, spacey wishing I had stayed home, it's funny how much gas I have wasted doing that.I am not glad you all have it to but it's a releif to know I'm not alone and there are friends here to talk with who know what its like.
stephanie867
01-15-2007, 01:48 PM
I didn't read all the posts, but I'm living proof you can create your anxiety. I had a reaction to a medication about a year ago. I was put on steriods to counteract the reaction. The steriods made me more anxious and panicky than I was when I started. It was right around this time last year.
I can't take any meds now without breaking into a rash. I think it's all in my head, but there's no way to prove it. Every single antibiotic or pain med gives me a rash.
Well, it's coming up to a year since I went to the ER for the initial reaction. My husband had called an ambulance and I wound up going in a blizzard. Now, every time I hear the weather is going to get cold or snow, I start to get shaky and anxious.
I've had to go the natural route, for obvious reasons and am working hard to try to get through this. I think it can be controlled, but not cured. It's just a matter of finding the right combination of things that help. For me, right now, it's meditation, aromatherapy and Reiki.
Hang in there!
I can't take any meds now without breaking into a rash. I think it's all in my head, but there's no way to prove it. Every single antibiotic or pain med gives me a rash.
Well, it's coming up to a year since I went to the ER for the initial reaction. My husband had called an ambulance and I wound up going in a blizzard. Now, every time I hear the weather is going to get cold or snow, I start to get shaky and anxious.
I've had to go the natural route, for obvious reasons and am working hard to try to get through this. I think it can be controlled, but not cured. It's just a matter of finding the right combination of things that help. For me, right now, it's meditation, aromatherapy and Reiki.
Hang in there!
ozinpanic
01-15-2007, 07:41 PM
Stephanie, I'm interested in the meditation. How often do you do it? For how long? Meditation for me is more like relaxation. I listen to relaxation tapes but am still conscious. Thank you in advance for any comments.
stephanie867
01-15-2007, 10:24 PM
I have some guided meditation CD's. I lay down, close my eyes and focus completely on the sound of the person's voice. If the house is quiet, I can get into a very deep relaxed state, almost asleep, but not quite.
I never thought I'd be able to meditate because I have a job, a house, 3 kids and my mind is always buzzing. I actually took an adult ed meditation class which really helped, because during that class, there was nothing else to think about except the teacher's voice, so I think that sort of helped to "train" me into totally clearing my mind.
I never thought I'd be able to meditate because I have a job, a house, 3 kids and my mind is always buzzing. I actually took an adult ed meditation class which really helped, because during that class, there was nothing else to think about except the teacher's voice, so I think that sort of helped to "train" me into totally clearing my mind.
ozinpanic
01-15-2007, 10:29 PM
Thanks for your reply. how often and how long do you meditate.
hyper79
01-19-2007, 01:01 PM
Well, I made my appt today with my p-doc, she was against trying me on another ssri or any other for that matter since my body is so sensitive to them.She asked if my current counselor was helping and I said no after a year of seeing him, so I asked for a change, she wants me to see her every week for psycothearpy.I sure hope this helps, I have always had a male counselor but am a bit nervous seeing a woman but it may be for the best,perhaps she has a different approach??
freckles1979
01-20-2007, 09:30 AM
Hi Hyper79,
I strongly think that we cause our own anxiety. I am reading a really great book that explains this and helps you understand how anxiety works and what makes it get worst. My anxiety has gotten better after reading it and practicing some of the methods explained in it. The book is called "from panic to power" from Lucinda Bassett.
Hope this helps.
Freckles79 (i'm guessing we are born the same year :-))
I strongly think that we cause our own anxiety. I am reading a really great book that explains this and helps you understand how anxiety works and what makes it get worst. My anxiety has gotten better after reading it and practicing some of the methods explained in it. The book is called "from panic to power" from Lucinda Bassett.
Hope this helps.
Freckles79 (i'm guessing we are born the same year :-))
shorebird
01-29-2007, 10:07 PM
Hi Hyper, fwiw I found women therapist were much more caring than men and good ones come in all shapes sizes and genders just like bad ones so definitely give her a chance. The key for cbt to work is to do the exercises every day to retrain your brain and eliminiate the thinking errors that are at the root of the problem. The book we used in my group called been there, done that? do this! by sam obitz is really good and illustrates the tea form thought countering exercise quite well. The main thing is that you are willing to work at helping yourself to get better for cbt to work. Take care.
hyper79
01-30-2007, 12:18 AM
Hi, thanks for the encouragement because I need it, I just told my wife about 30 min before I saw your post I may not go to my , the thearpist is around my age which I guess helps, Im a bit nervous about going, it's wed morning.I beleive I'll go and give her a try.I found waking early helps me some how?I have been depressed and over the past week or so I have been forcing myself up and taking on some mechanic work at home which has helped and my energy level is better.I got to get back in the groove, never been out of work for 8 months straight!!I will check up on the book by sam obitz.Thanks and I'll let you know how it goes
hyper79
02-12-2007, 07:13 PM
Hi shorebird, I chickened out for my first appointment with the female thearpist, well I went today and it was great!! She asked lots of questions,pretty much a revaluation,I felt she actually cared and said she was planning to use a different approach the others failed to try and asked twice if I was comfortable with her and what I thought about her.I am actually looking forward to seeing her again in two weeks, today she just learned about me and my depression/anxiety situation.I spilled my guts for a change.
PeskyRabbit
02-12-2007, 09:38 PM
Yea Hyper! That's great! Keep us posted on how you're doing. I just have a great feeling about this.
Take care,
Pesky
Take care,
Pesky
hyper79
02-13-2007, 12:04 AM
Hi PeskyRabbit, I do have high hopes and a good feeling,just cant beleive I wasted 2 years of thearpy with this guy who left me feeling worse each time I left and seeing other patients running out his office crying? I felt better from the start seeing the hard biker dude walking out laughing and talking away before I went in.I told her all I knew to tell even my worst thoughts I had last year that I kept to myself, really afraid to tell the other guy.Oh well I need to look ahead and forget the past.thanks and take care!!!! Hyper:wave:
shorebird
03-02-2007, 03:29 PM
Hey hyper that's great news! I am sorry I have not logged on here lately, had the flu then got behind in everything. Does your therapist use cbt? I hope she does because I think the tea form exercise would help you help yourself. Great job taking the first step and let me know how it is going now?
hyper79
03-05-2007, 01:28 AM
Hi Shorebird, sorry to hear about your bout with the flu,I have not been doing a whole lot the past few weeks.I went to my second visit with the new thearpist,I had high hopes but they got diminished on my last visit,she kinda ticked me off or I took her question the wrong way? She asked what do I get out of doing with my depression/anxiety problem? I felt like she was assuming I was faking my problems.I told her I dont do much with my family,friends,Im jobless ect not that I dont want to do these things but dont feel like it? Not saying she is a bad thearpist seeing it's only my 2nd visit with her.She said maybe I was depressed at one time and have got use to feeling bad so it's habit?This is my 3rd year going to this clinic, it's the only one in my town and it is almost free so I have few options,I checked on the fees in the next town and they are too high, even when I was working full time it was still alot of $$.I think I have did ok helping myself,perhaps more than they did.You know what they say about FREE stuff "lol". Hows it been with you
shorebird
03-08-2007, 02:50 PM
Hi Hyper, Thanks for the sympathy on my flubug, I'm glad to be over that! Things are going well but I am still catching up on things I fell behind on with the flu. That clinic and therapist do not sound the best on the surface from what you are saying. So what if it is a habit? I mean regardless it is their job is to help you get better. You need to ask if they have any therapists who specialize in cbt. I really think if you learn how to counter your thoughts properly in a tea form you will be able to cure yourself. See if your local library has the book I mentioned by Sam Obitz and read it and give the tea forms a try. You can read the entire book in about an hour and a half and I think it may motivate you.
Take care and let me know how you are doing?
Take care and let me know how you are doing?
V_dubgurl
03-08-2007, 08:52 PM
I know how you feel. It was so hard for me to get back into the swing of things when I had my bouts of panic attacks. It does sink you into a deep depression. I just took it day by day, and your therapist is right. You kinda just have to put yourself out there. What happens happens.. Really what is the worst thing that could happen? You pass out you get back up.
hyper79
03-08-2007, 09:08 PM
Hi, since I first started this post I realized I have cycling depression,it's hard to explain but anxiety accompanys it. It is what put me out of work, today I may feel ok and tomorrow so depressed and exhausted getting out of bed is tough, I found there is no trigger to the cycle?I think my p-doc mentioned unipolar depression and prescribed me depakote 500mg daily but by what I have read it's for "mania" which I do not have and I have not got it filled.I want to get better but I am afraid her medication plan may be wrong but I am no doctor.I think my wife is getting fed up with all of this to, cant say I blame her.Should I research and question what goes into my body or am I wrong for that?
shorebird
03-16-2007, 02:11 PM
Great advice v-dub.
shorebird
03-16-2007, 02:16 PM
Hyper it is my understanding that depakote is for bi-polar people and not unipolar people but I am not sure about that. There may not be a trigger that you can identify but I bet there is one and it is probably in your automatic thoughts that you are not even aware of. If you learn to counter your thoughts daily you will eventually learn to think more objectively and your automatic thoughts that cause the problems will be eliminated.
hyper79
03-24-2007, 02:46 PM
Hi Shorebird, I have gave some thought to what you said and your right. hyper
shorebird
03-28-2007, 05:07 PM
Hi hyper. I am glad you found my input useful and I hope it helps you too. Take care and keep in touch.
mjsouc
04-03-2007, 12:25 AM
Hyper I have been suffering from severe panic disorder w/agorphobia and depression since I was fifteen. I am now twenty eight. I have been to the er twice when I was 16 and once when I was twenty. One thing I have learned after 13 years and talkling to every doctor and taking every medication is that simpy there is no simple answer. Now they have all these self help books and stuff like that wich I have try them all with little success. They were all basic ways of changing thought patterns wich I already knew how to do but people do not understand this is only for moderate not severe. I sure all the self helpers would argue that but I would argue with them that they have never experienced a real panic attack. It sucks. Most doctors have never experienced a panic attack nor can they understand quite how bad they feel. It is very hard to figure out wich is the problem the axiety or the depression...well after alot of research I have learned they are like peas and carrots. And you can have them at the exact same time contrary to what many people say. I wish I had an answer for you. My heart is with you in your troubles and I understand...I usally do not waste my time with people that say they have axiety because with most people they cannot relate to the severaty. It's like talking to someone who has seen a dust devel and you have an f5 tornado...but you are one of the people I can relate to everything you said incliding job problems related to this illness. I wife tries to help but sometimes I just give up and get as drunk as I can. Wich is bad cause hang overs worsen axiety and over all quality of life...but I do it anyways out of disperity. All I do every day is just try. I was like you also...I was scared just to leave my house let alone work. I have 1 mg klonapin and .5 xanax and They both do help and as far as getting addicted whats worse living like that or getting addicted. I have quit them twice...it was hard but not as bad as thought...although If you can deal without them it is better cause your more mentaly focused. But I just take mine. I did not take them for awhile but then I relized I still avioded every trigger or situation. Now I take a couple and do what I want. I someone has a better answer I would love to try it...Xanax is a crutch I know but it a micracle for people who suffer...its like insulin for people who suffer from diabetes...sure they can life without it if they avoid every thing they enjoy in life. I had a co working and tried to do his diabetes through natural metheds with bad results. I have tried all the natures herbs and everything else I it just did not work for me. Plz share anything with me or ask me anything...It feels really good to talk to people who really now. You said you were a truck driver for a while?? I thought about doing that but bein on the road makes my axiety worse but the job market sucks right now and I am desperate. How did you like it?? Would you have liked it if you did not suffer from panic disorder?? I remember having theis disorder for two years before they even diognest it cause it really was not a huge issue in 1995 I wonder what happened. I think doctors just finally started publisihing a teaching people about the disorder...I dont believe it was any new. But there was lack of knowlege and research when I was first diagnost. Sorry for the book. Could'nt help myself. Hope to here from you soon.
hyper79
04-03-2007, 10:14 AM
Hi, very sorry hear you suffer from the same,I admit it's a rough road never knowing what or how you will feel tomorrow.I never in a million years would have though I would have ended up like this. I have tried all the best methods on the market and have all the knowledge of getting better but as you said it depends on how bad the problem is.I searched for 6 years, doctor after doctor trying to find a physical cause which there was none. I have had over the years 25 or more ER visits some for anxiety itself or either anxiety making something worse than what it is.I go to thearpy every 2 weeks and have for over 3 years actually on my 4th different counceler, seems I know as much as they do. My wife is opposite than me and glad she is, nothing bothers her at all, she goes to bed and is asleep in 5 minutes, it takes me hours and I wake up feeling worse than I did when I went to sleep,I dont know if I could make it without her,she is great and tries to help me. I enjoyed driving trucks, did it for 4 years. I started at the company part time as a van driver as I was fired from my previous job due to my problems, the guy driving trucks for them quit so I went with the flow got my cdl and started full time.I did ok at first but as time passed my anxiety/depression got so bad I was missing to many days, if I worked a week without leaving early or missing a day I was sick.It has been a year since I worked but managed to do small jobs here and there around home, mechanic work ect. as I feel like to make ends meet. I'm not sure if I would be here today if I was still working the depression got so bad with the lack of sleep,fatigue,stress I just could not handle it. My boss fired me and in as sense I was happy.I still have panic attacks but have managed to control them really thats how it began, I had my first 7 years ago getting ready for work, thought it was a stroke and went to the ER but I was fine prior to that,something changed that day that altered something in my brain and I had them over and over, heart palpitations, constant shortness of breath, weakness just a vicious cycle of problems.It caused me to loose everything I worked so hard to get, my home,cars,property I was down to nothing!! I look back when I was normal and remember the things I use to do, working 12-15 hours a day being a husband, a good provider I guess what is considered to be a man, had lots of hobbies and friends.We have a 6 year old daughter that I love with all my heart and regret not having the motivation to play with her and teach her things, it is hard to explain or put into words but she does not understand what I go through, my mom is 75 and lives alone less than 6 miles away and I see her less than 30 minutes a month, I'm sure she wonders whats wrong with me and sure I'll regret not seeing her more often when the day comes.My pdoc has give up on me I think, I have tried all the meds and none help but seem to make matters worse, she only recommends thearpy.I spend 99% of my time here at home and that's not good,even the smallest plan such as taking my little girl to school is rough,It's as you said with the tornado, people do not understand what it's like to be trapped and afraid.My wife and child are going to Orlando, leaving Saturday for a week,she has saved for a long time to go,I'm not going.I am really afraid about her leaving and being alone, she is my crutch. I have been counting the days on the calendar just like my little girl but in a different way, maybe I'll be ok, perhaps I will improve by doing things for myself for a change, going to the post office ect....I wish she would not go but she is and I need to stay positive,I cant spoil their fun, they deserve the vacation.8 years ago I'd been gung ho about going and had the gitters pacing the floor to go.I'm sure me and you both will find the answer we need to get better in time.I have not tried prozac yet,I have a appt with my p-doc Wed and thinking about asking again if I can try it, she thinks I'm bipolar but my thearpist dont,I have no mania or highs,I'm a puzzle to them.I applied for disability last november and was denied, they said there were jobs in the market for me and that I had job skills and a good education I was able to perform some jobs, heck who is going to say work for me and come and go as you please??I have a hard time here at home,I filed for reconsideration with a lawyers help and they said the denial rate is just as high at this stage of the filing and it may take a year for a judge hearing, we cant make it that long without good money coming in.I'll keep in touch
mjsouc
04-03-2007, 10:28 PM
It's funny how you said your family is looking foward to going on that trip and you are dredding them being away. That is exactly what happens on our trips. She can't wait and im like oh great now I have take a bunch of meds. Oh and trust me I tried these trips several times without my xanax and practiced every positive thinking technique and what not....My axiety is just to strong. When I take a xanax it takes around 2 minutes if you put it under your tongue and my panic attack is gone. But lately my depression has been more of an issue...you know what you said about having trouble just taking your daughter school...well it gottin to that point for me latley. Everything just seems blue and dark...nothing seems like trying for anymore. I hate bein at home all the time but yet I hate suffering from my illness at work all day. So right now I am not working and it just makes me worse although it does suck at work too but my depression is less of an issue at work...more axiety problems at work...kinda of catch22. Oh and I have 2 year daughter who I love more than anything and found out today my wife wants to split cause she cant take my ups and downs anymore. Which means I wont be able to see my wonderful daughter everyday anymore unless we are civil about which so far it's going good. I think we both want it because her and her familys puts way too much pressure on me which makes me 1000 times worse and she wants to leave cause im not a very stable person anymore. I used to be...even with my panic disorder..I do not know why things just got really worse for me about 2 years ago as far as depression/panic attacks go. Maybe just all the pressure?? I dunno. I enjoyed reading what you wrote it kinda gives me a smile for a breif moment like hey i'm not totally alone. My wife is sick of it an d she out of here...now I have to learn to deal with that. What's next..lol
hyper79
04-03-2007, 11:27 PM
I sure hope things go well, does you go to thearpy,if so does she attend? Perhaps if she understood in more detail on the issues it would help.I think it will do my wife good to get away for a bit,like I said it may help me in some ways.I talked to a guy today and he wants me to do some painting on his mothers house, just simple baseboard painting, hoping to go while the wifes away. I know relaxation tapes, yoga, massages help some folks but you may find this odd but mechanic work relaxes me as well as long walks.My depression has been pretty bad lately to.I got a appointment tomorrow at the pdoc, she is going to be mad at me for not taking the depakote but I dont think it's right for me.I'll post what happens tomorrow.You spoke of pressure, my wifes step sisters have nice homes ect.and there husbands have did good for themselves one is a plant mgr and the other is a sheriff deputy and they feel I should do better but they do not know my condition.I'm going to get better,I give up at one point but not again.Keep your head up and try to stay positive,it's hard but do your best!!You got any hobbies you do or use to do??
shorebird
04-13-2007, 04:57 PM
One thing I have learned after 13 years and talkling to every doctor and taking every medication is that simpy there is no simple answer. Now they have all these self help books and stuff like that wich I have try them all with little success. They were all basic ways of changing thought patterns wich I already knew how to do but people do not understand this is only for moderate not severe. I sure all the self helpers would argue that but I would argue with them that they have never experienced a real panic attack. It sucks. Most doctors have never experienced a panic attack nor can they understand quite how bad they feel.
I feel for you and I hope you find something that works for you. It took me a lot of trial and error before I got better and it was the basic self-help stuff that ended up working best for me mainly the changing my thinking and countering my errors countering all my thoughts in tea forms. It was hard work and took some time to click in but it has changed my life. I had severe panic and at their peak was having attacks daily despite the meds I was on. It was not until I learned how to cut the panicky thoughts off that I started to improve. I know what you mean about being frustrated by doctors who claim to be experts on panic but have never had a panic attack! That's why I recommend the book by sam obitz he counters the two things I hated most in my early treatments, he had panic disorder and got better and his book was not wordy and overwhelming just cut to the chase after writing about his personal experience with anxiety and depression. Good luck and I hope you find something to help you get better regardless of what that ends up being.
I feel for you and I hope you find something that works for you. It took me a lot of trial and error before I got better and it was the basic self-help stuff that ended up working best for me mainly the changing my thinking and countering my errors countering all my thoughts in tea forms. It was hard work and took some time to click in but it has changed my life. I had severe panic and at their peak was having attacks daily despite the meds I was on. It was not until I learned how to cut the panicky thoughts off that I started to improve. I know what you mean about being frustrated by doctors who claim to be experts on panic but have never had a panic attack! That's why I recommend the book by sam obitz he counters the two things I hated most in my early treatments, he had panic disorder and got better and his book was not wordy and overwhelming just cut to the chase after writing about his personal experience with anxiety and depression. Good luck and I hope you find something to help you get better regardless of what that ends up being.
shorebird
05-30-2007, 04:42 PM
Hyper how about an update on how you are doing? I hope you are feeling better and have found something that works well for you :)
hyper79
05-30-2007, 10:18 PM
Hi Shorebird, great to hear from you.Actually started Prozac several weeks ago and have saw some good results, still have bad days but I'm able to cope much better and get out a bit more. "knock on wood" but my depression has started to lift which is a BIG plus,I was worried for quite a while as how much longer I could bare it. Just glad I took the plunge and tried a new med,I still may have to play with the dosage by what my p-doc said,al and all not cured but better.What about you,how has things been?
shorebird
06-12-2007, 02:45 PM
Hey Hyper,
Glad to hear you found something that is helping you:D I am doing well but really busy the last couple of weeks. I hope you get your dosage squared away so it is at its optimum level and keep working on your thought patterns as a two pronged approach can be very beneficial. Let me know how you are doing too?
Glad to hear you found something that is helping you:D I am doing well but really busy the last couple of weeks. I hope you get your dosage squared away so it is at its optimum level and keep working on your thought patterns as a two pronged approach can be very beneficial. Let me know how you are doing too?