I am going in for major surgery this Thursday, and will be in the hospital for 4 days. While I am in there, my kids, 3.5 years and 19 months will be staying with my mom and dad so my husband can be with me at the hospital. My question is how to tell my 3 year old what is going on. My 19 month old is still to young to understand, but it's my 3 year old I worry about. She is very sensitive about things being done to her mommy. I told her already that she and her brother are going to go stay at grammy's and daddy will come and spend time with them, and that grammy will bring them in to see my at the hospital. Then she asked where I would be, so I told her that I had to go to a place where dr's make people feel better and that mommy might look tired and will be in a bed, but that she'll feel better after she get's home. She seemed content with that, then woke up crying two nights ago saying that I was going to die "at that place" which I took to be the hospital. So now we aren't sure what to do. I don't want to over talk about it since she might get scared, but I also don't want to dismiss her fears either. Any suggestions on what to do to help calm her down? Thanks in advance!

How about you make out it's like a holiday for you, like a health spa or something? If she thinks you're just having a treat then she won't worry that you're sick, which might be what's upsetting her. Also play up the fun she'll have staying at Grammy's house, maybe plan some games or activities she can do. My Grandma always used to make cakes with us and that was a big treat, we would forget about wherever Mum and Dad were!

I wouldn't necessarily have them come see you in the hospital. A hospital can be a very scary place - the nurses, the lights, noises, sick people.

I would just say mommy's going away and they'll be at gramma's having fun. Leave out the whole "mommy getting better" part until you all get home.

Then you can just say mommy has an owee and the kids should be careful around you.

My kids saw me the in hospital when they were little and it was tough on them.

I agree with PinkPiglet about not bringing your little one to the hospital. In 2005 I had an emergency C-section 24 weeks into my pregnancy. My mom kept my two older boys while I was in the hospital. I asked her to bring them to see me, and my oldest (5 1/2 at the time) was fine. My middle son (3 at the time) was totally scared though. He just kept staring at me. I couldn't get him to talk to me, or hug me, or even smile. My momsaid he was okay after they got back home, but he was definatley distraught while at the hospital.

Just an idea, but maybe you could have your husband stay at home. If your kids are already scared, having daddy around will be reassuring to them. At least have him sleep at home (or are you traveling a distance to the hospital?) I also wouldn't have the kids visit you at the hospital. This can be very frightening. Seeing you look tired or "out of it" seeing IV's and such could make things worse.
good luck with your surgery