ska678
01-27-2007, 06:57 AM
Hi, I am new. Im not sure im ready to write everything i've been through but i've had PTSD for a while now. About 5 years ago i witnessed a terrible crime, the main perpertrator of this crime has threatened to kill me if i told anyone about it, he is in jail now for murder but gets out in a couple of years, i now have a kid and spend allot of time worrying about me and my baby getting killed, sometimes i cant breath, and allot of things remind me of the fact he will come out of jail, sometimes i see things on the news and think 'that could be the way im going to get killed' etc. Its really hard, i have no one to talk to and have tried talking to my parents but my dad basically was supportive at first then next time i asked him (he said hed think about something he could do to help) he basically shouted at me to 'just dont worry about it'. My mother has also been verbally and physically abusive towards me since i was little, and is of little support now (she still always puts me down, she basically blamed me for witnessing the crime, implying it was my fault i was there.).I have isolated myself for awhile now and do not want to run into people that i used to know, due to the fact that they were all around when the crime happened..
apart from the ptsd, everyday is hard living with my parents, my mother is constantly putting me down and verbally abusing me, the other day she tried to ask about me feeling depressed and i said i was frightened by this guy that threatened me, she said 'well you've wasted 5 years of your life thinking about it are u going to waste the next five years'...and she continued on telling me basically waht a **** up i am.
I feel like i have no one to talk to about this and dont know what to do.
apart from the ptsd, everyday is hard living with my parents, my mother is constantly putting me down and verbally abusing me, the other day she tried to ask about me feeling depressed and i said i was frightened by this guy that threatened me, she said 'well you've wasted 5 years of your life thinking about it are u going to waste the next five years'...and she continued on telling me basically waht a **** up i am.
I feel like i have no one to talk to about this and dont know what to do.
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Phoenix
01-27-2007, 08:26 AM
Dear ska678,
I welcome you to this board. Unfortunately it is under these circumstances.
I won't barage you with questions, as I know you are just "getting your bearings."
There are more pieces to your puzzle (we all have our own) and the wonderful thing is that you can share at your own pace.
You will not be judged or ridiculed.
Whenever you are ready, we are here.
Take care
God Bless:angel:
FTM
I welcome you to this board. Unfortunately it is under these circumstances.
I won't barage you with questions, as I know you are just "getting your bearings."
There are more pieces to your puzzle (we all have our own) and the wonderful thing is that you can share at your own pace.
You will not be judged or ridiculed.
Whenever you are ready, we are here.
Take care
God Bless:angel:
FTM
Sannah
01-27-2007, 10:41 AM
Ska, sorry to hear about your situation. How old are you? Is there anyway that you can relocate? I hear living in Oz can be quite unreal!
ska678
01-28-2007, 04:41 AM
thanks, im 26. Yes i suppose i could relocate, but i'd have to first save up heaps of money. The hardest thing will be telling my daughter why we are moving and she will be frightened for the rest of her life about this guy, i guess i cant tell her.but then id just tell her we have to move? she might not want to move because of all her friends/family etc...i guess i will have to though. i wont stay around and put myself and her in danger. i just always feel really sad thinking im starting to rebuild my life here now and then in a couple of years i'll have to move and start again.
Phoenix
01-28-2007, 05:55 AM
Dear ska,
The long and the short of it is that you have to do what is right for you and your daughter.
Living in that much uncomfortability can easily decrease your quality of life.
How old is your daughter (if you don't mind me asking)?
Please keep posting.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
The long and the short of it is that you have to do what is right for you and your daughter.
Living in that much uncomfortability can easily decrease your quality of life.
How old is your daughter (if you don't mind me asking)?
Please keep posting.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
Sannah
01-28-2007, 07:57 AM
SKA, yeh, you do not have to tell her the real reason that you need to move. You deserve to not be put down by your mother anymore too! Have you considered counseling to heal from that abuse?
ska678
02-01-2007, 01:37 AM
Yeah thanks, she is 2 at the moment but whens shes older she will have settled into life here and prob wont want to move (i dont either but dont have a choice i guess.) Im scared to go get counselling about this, i have before and started to get anxiety breathing attacks and feeling really ****ed up when i talked about it i guess because i was realising how real and scary it actually is that i could be harmed.
Phoenix
02-01-2007, 05:40 AM
Yeah thanks, she is 2 at the moment but whens shes older she will have settled into life here and prob wont want to move (i dont either but dont have a choice i guess.) Im scared to go get counselling about this, i have before and started to get anxiety breathing attacks and feeling really ****ed up when i talked about it i guess because i was realising how real and scary it actually is that i could be harmed.
Dear ska,
During the initial consult, you can explain during the intake process about your concerns and how you have reacted to expressing them in the past.
This would provide them with enough information, so that your visits will be less stressful. Please take heed to this advice or at the very least give it some serious thought.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
Dear ska,
During the initial consult, you can explain during the intake process about your concerns and how you have reacted to expressing them in the past.
This would provide them with enough information, so that your visits will be less stressful. Please take heed to this advice or at the very least give it some serious thought.
Take care
God Bless
FTM