stick2013
01-30-2007, 06:04 PM
Dear FTM,
I am a person that always will use honesty, and so I owe that to you also. I'm not sure if you have sensed it, but I have been a little upset with you of late. NOT ANGRY, just upset. I should have brought it up before, but I just needed time. I was upset because I felt threatened. I think it was all a misunderstanding. I was upset with you because you said that you were going to e-mail the MODS and put out a 911 on me. (kind of funny now) I did state that I needed a break, and I did check in one day, so I was upset that ANYONE would really be that concerned.....
I apologize wholeheartedly..... I do thank you for being concerned, but NOT to that point...... Will you accept my apology?????
Thanks,
Sid
I am a person that always will use honesty, and so I owe that to you also. I'm not sure if you have sensed it, but I have been a little upset with you of late. NOT ANGRY, just upset. I should have brought it up before, but I just needed time. I was upset because I felt threatened. I think it was all a misunderstanding. I was upset with you because you said that you were going to e-mail the MODS and put out a 911 on me. (kind of funny now) I did state that I needed a break, and I did check in one day, so I was upset that ANYONE would really be that concerned.....
I apologize wholeheartedly..... I do thank you for being concerned, but NOT to that point...... Will you accept my apology?????
Thanks,
Sid
Sponsor
Phoenix
01-30-2007, 10:29 PM
Dear FTM,
I am a person that always will use honesty, and so I owe that to you also. I'm not sure if you have sensed it, but I have been a little upset with you of late. NOT ANGRY, just upset. I should have brought it up before, but I just needed time. I was upset because I felt threatened. I think it was all a misunderstanding. I was upset with you because you said that you were going to e-mail the MODS and put out a 911 on me. (kind of funny now) I did state that I needed a break, and I did check in one day, so I was upset that ANYONE would really be that concerned.....
I apologize wholeheartedly..... I do thank you for being concerned, but NOT to that point...... Will you accept my apology?????
Thanks,
Sid
My dear Sid,
I literally went through all your threads and posts. When you stated the way you felt, I just jumped to the conclusion that there might have been some type of distress signal being emitted; my bad.
You see Sid, at the very least, if the moderators felt there was something that warranted attention, they at least have the means to contact you.
I felt that you really needed a hug and just stating that at the time did not seem like enough and I let my emotions get the best of me (it happens), thus the result. I just needed someone to see if you were alright.
Can you now see how others I live around see me as "different" and I keep my distance?
Sid,
We may not always agree and that's alright with me.
Did you see that thread about showing support? I don't usually do that, back to back and I thank the moderators once again for providing me a little lattitude.
I knew that you were "displeased" with me, so I gave you space; as much as you needed. If you never spoke to me again, I was prepared for that also. In a lot of ways I am that "inner child" at times and I had a difficult time getting him too behave.
How can I accept your apology for being you:confused: . You reacted the way that you did because it is part of you, as being overly concerned is part of me.
Dear Sid,
Do you find it that difficult; that a person who is not immediate family can actually have concern for their fellow man/woman? You are deserving of it...................
I just needed for you to know that.
I humbly accept anything that you give me.....................
Take care
God Bless
FTM
I am a person that always will use honesty, and so I owe that to you also. I'm not sure if you have sensed it, but I have been a little upset with you of late. NOT ANGRY, just upset. I should have brought it up before, but I just needed time. I was upset because I felt threatened. I think it was all a misunderstanding. I was upset with you because you said that you were going to e-mail the MODS and put out a 911 on me. (kind of funny now) I did state that I needed a break, and I did check in one day, so I was upset that ANYONE would really be that concerned.....
I apologize wholeheartedly..... I do thank you for being concerned, but NOT to that point...... Will you accept my apology?????
Thanks,
Sid
My dear Sid,
I literally went through all your threads and posts. When you stated the way you felt, I just jumped to the conclusion that there might have been some type of distress signal being emitted; my bad.
You see Sid, at the very least, if the moderators felt there was something that warranted attention, they at least have the means to contact you.
I felt that you really needed a hug and just stating that at the time did not seem like enough and I let my emotions get the best of me (it happens), thus the result. I just needed someone to see if you were alright.
Can you now see how others I live around see me as "different" and I keep my distance?
Sid,
We may not always agree and that's alright with me.
Did you see that thread about showing support? I don't usually do that, back to back and I thank the moderators once again for providing me a little lattitude.
I knew that you were "displeased" with me, so I gave you space; as much as you needed. If you never spoke to me again, I was prepared for that also. In a lot of ways I am that "inner child" at times and I had a difficult time getting him too behave.
How can I accept your apology for being you:confused: . You reacted the way that you did because it is part of you, as being overly concerned is part of me.
Dear Sid,
Do you find it that difficult; that a person who is not immediate family can actually have concern for their fellow man/woman? You are deserving of it...................
I just needed for you to know that.
I humbly accept anything that you give me.....................
Take care
God Bless
FTM
stick2013
01-31-2007, 06:06 AM
Dear FTM,
I just felt that I owed you an explanation and an apology. That's the type of person that I am. I am glad that we can have different opinions, and still discuss things in an adult manner. That has been a rare commodity in my life.
An answer to your sort of question.......
Dear Sid,
Do you find it that difficult; a person who is not immediate family can actually have concern for their fellow man/woman? You are deserving of it...................
Yes.... I find it difficult to accept concern, gifts, compliments, help, or any other nice thing..... But I am learning how to be more gracious, and less of a SH** when people offer things. I was basically forced to be a very independent person. One who gave, and gave, but NEVER accepted. So yes I do have a problem with some things.....But life is a learning process, and i think that I am still somewhere on the curve.....
Thanks FTM,
We will talk again soon!
Hugs,
Sid
I just felt that I owed you an explanation and an apology. That's the type of person that I am. I am glad that we can have different opinions, and still discuss things in an adult manner. That has been a rare commodity in my life.
An answer to your sort of question.......
Dear Sid,
Do you find it that difficult; a person who is not immediate family can actually have concern for their fellow man/woman? You are deserving of it...................
Yes.... I find it difficult to accept concern, gifts, compliments, help, or any other nice thing..... But I am learning how to be more gracious, and less of a SH** when people offer things. I was basically forced to be a very independent person. One who gave, and gave, but NEVER accepted. So yes I do have a problem with some things.....But life is a learning process, and i think that I am still somewhere on the curve.....
Thanks FTM,
We will talk again soon!
Hugs,
Sid
Zally
01-31-2007, 12:05 PM
Yes.... I find it difficult to accept concern, gifts, compliments, help, or any other nice thing..... But I am learning how to be more gracious, and less of a SH** when people offer things. I was basically forced to be a very independent person. One who gave, and gave, but NEVER accepted.
Sid, could it be that if you are independent then no one can hurt you or disappoint you? Or do you think that you are undeserving of nice things from people? Or that you just don't want anyone else "bothered" with having to do anything for you? Or is it just habit?
Sid, could it be that if you are independent then no one can hurt you or disappoint you? Or do you think that you are undeserving of nice things from people? Or that you just don't want anyone else "bothered" with having to do anything for you? Or is it just habit?
Phoenix
01-31-2007, 12:24 PM
Dear FTM,
I just felt that I owed you an explanation and an apology. That's the type of person that I am. I am glad that we can have different opinions, and still discuss things in an adult manner. That has been a rare commodity in my life.
An answer to your sort of question.......
Dear Sid,
Do you find it that difficult; a person who is not immediate family can actually have concern for their fellow man/woman? You are deserving of it...................
Yes.... I find it difficult to accept concern, gifts, compliments, help, or any other nice thing..... But I am learning how to be more gracious, and less of a SH** when people offer things. I was basically forced to be a very independent person. One who gave, and gave, but NEVER accepted. So yes I do have a problem with some things.....But life is a learning process, and i think that I am still somewhere on the curve.....
Thanks FTM,
We will talk again soon!
Hugs,
Sid
Dear Sid,
I used to play baseball and I was always cautious about the "curve" ball.:)
Life is a learning process and I must state for the record that you owe it to yourself; do not block the "blessings" that are coming your way.
You are one tough cookie but I like cookies:) .
Take care
God Bless
FTM
I just felt that I owed you an explanation and an apology. That's the type of person that I am. I am glad that we can have different opinions, and still discuss things in an adult manner. That has been a rare commodity in my life.
An answer to your sort of question.......
Dear Sid,
Do you find it that difficult; a person who is not immediate family can actually have concern for their fellow man/woman? You are deserving of it...................
Yes.... I find it difficult to accept concern, gifts, compliments, help, or any other nice thing..... But I am learning how to be more gracious, and less of a SH** when people offer things. I was basically forced to be a very independent person. One who gave, and gave, but NEVER accepted. So yes I do have a problem with some things.....But life is a learning process, and i think that I am still somewhere on the curve.....
Thanks FTM,
We will talk again soon!
Hugs,
Sid
Dear Sid,
I used to play baseball and I was always cautious about the "curve" ball.:)
Life is a learning process and I must state for the record that you owe it to yourself; do not block the "blessings" that are coming your way.
You are one tough cookie but I like cookies:) .
Take care
God Bless
FTM
hergy
01-31-2007, 01:20 PM
Yes.... I find it difficult to accept concern, gifts, compliments, help, or any other nice thing..... I was basically forced to be a very independent person. One who gave, and gave, but NEVER accepted.
Sid,
When you give and give, getting is difficult. I feel guilty when I talk about my problems and someone listens, gives advice and/or praises me. I don't deserve it. It's my responsibility to do the pleasing.
But you deserve to talk. You've given a lot in your life, and you give a lot on this board. You've been through so much. Relax here. We love you and like to hear how you feel. That's for real. You and I aren't related as far as I know, but you're in my head every day.
I'm glad you're opening up more. You're a genuine 'squishy hug person' full of kindness, love and wisdom. You truly deserve peace and contentment.
By the way, we're twins.
Love,
Nikki
Sid,
When you give and give, getting is difficult. I feel guilty when I talk about my problems and someone listens, gives advice and/or praises me. I don't deserve it. It's my responsibility to do the pleasing.
But you deserve to talk. You've given a lot in your life, and you give a lot on this board. You've been through so much. Relax here. We love you and like to hear how you feel. That's for real. You and I aren't related as far as I know, but you're in my head every day.
I'm glad you're opening up more. You're a genuine 'squishy hug person' full of kindness, love and wisdom. You truly deserve peace and contentment.
By the way, we're twins.
Love,
Nikki
ICC
01-31-2007, 03:18 PM
Sid---i have to agree with Nikki on this one. we all seem to have a problem receiving because we are so used to giving. it's hard but we can all get used to it.
Love ya girlfriend,
ICC
Love ya girlfriend,
ICC
stick2013
01-31-2007, 04:39 PM
To all,
I just have a hard time receiving, or being on the receiving end. If someone gives me a gift, I feel guilty, and weird. I just like to GIVE instead. Don't get me wrong...... I like to be remembered in the way of small things, thoughtful things. I hate getting lots presents for xmas, and birthday. I would instead like just a small thought out gift.
I do talk about my problems here. I have opened up... But once again...It's nicer to give the help. I feel rewarded when one of you "GETS IT" Or when one of you has a "BREAK THROUGH" I get all tickled and feel so good for that person... I get my enjoyment by the looks on a persons face, when I have done something that helps them. I used to go up to my daughters every Friday, clean her house, and do the laundry for her. Her and her hubby thought it was great, they loved it...THEN.....My daughter turned on me and screamed, "The only reason you clean my house is because YOU think it's dirty!" I was SO HURT!!! I enjoyed doing something for them, that I thought would help, and they loved.... I just enjoy doing things for others......
So that's me in a nut shell. Yup, I am a NUT!!!!!
Love to all,
Sid
I just have a hard time receiving, or being on the receiving end. If someone gives me a gift, I feel guilty, and weird. I just like to GIVE instead. Don't get me wrong...... I like to be remembered in the way of small things, thoughtful things. I hate getting lots presents for xmas, and birthday. I would instead like just a small thought out gift.
I do talk about my problems here. I have opened up... But once again...It's nicer to give the help. I feel rewarded when one of you "GETS IT" Or when one of you has a "BREAK THROUGH" I get all tickled and feel so good for that person... I get my enjoyment by the looks on a persons face, when I have done something that helps them. I used to go up to my daughters every Friday, clean her house, and do the laundry for her. Her and her hubby thought it was great, they loved it...THEN.....My daughter turned on me and screamed, "The only reason you clean my house is because YOU think it's dirty!" I was SO HURT!!! I enjoyed doing something for them, that I thought would help, and they loved.... I just enjoy doing things for others......
So that's me in a nut shell. Yup, I am a NUT!!!!!
Love to all,
Sid
Phoenix
01-31-2007, 04:57 PM
Dear Sid,
You are far from being "planters" in my book:) .
You wrote:
It's nicer to give the help. I feel rewarded when one of you "GETS IT" Or when one of you has a "BREAK THROUGH"
.........but when I said pretty much the same thing, you didn't identify with me; how come?
Take care
God Bless
FTM
You are far from being "planters" in my book:) .
You wrote:
It's nicer to give the help. I feel rewarded when one of you "GETS IT" Or when one of you has a "BREAK THROUGH"
.........but when I said pretty much the same thing, you didn't identify with me; how come?
Take care
God Bless
FTM
ICC
01-31-2007, 04:59 PM
No Sid you are not a nut:confused: well maybe---------:jester:
That is just mean on your daughter's part and I can't say anymore because nasty, mean people grate on my nerves especially when they repay a kindness with a slap.
Hugs,
Grasshopper:D
That is just mean on your daughter's part and I can't say anymore because nasty, mean people grate on my nerves especially when they repay a kindness with a slap.
Hugs,
Grasshopper:D
hergy
01-31-2007, 07:05 PM
If someone gives me a gift, I feel guilty, and weird. I just like to GIVE instead.
....I feel rewarded when one of you "GETS IT" Or when one of you has a "BREAK THROUGH" I get all tickled and feel so good for that person... I get my enjoyment by the looks on a persons face, when I have done something that helps them.
What I get is what you just said. I feel guilty and weird upon receiving, as well. But you deserve to receive. YOU'RE AWESOME!
The selfless woman you are lets you feel genuine happiness when others feel good. Nothing wrong with that. There are so many selfish people in the world. Most of us on this board got pretty screwed over by those selfish people.
It's ok to talk about your problems. I like to give, too. You've put smiles on my face, meaningful thoughts in my head and given me a good butt-kicking. It would make me feel good to do the same for you. I don't like to kick butt, but if there's ever a need for a swingset illustration, I'll be ready.
Lots of love,
Nikki
....I feel rewarded when one of you "GETS IT" Or when one of you has a "BREAK THROUGH" I get all tickled and feel so good for that person... I get my enjoyment by the looks on a persons face, when I have done something that helps them.
What I get is what you just said. I feel guilty and weird upon receiving, as well. But you deserve to receive. YOU'RE AWESOME!
The selfless woman you are lets you feel genuine happiness when others feel good. Nothing wrong with that. There are so many selfish people in the world. Most of us on this board got pretty screwed over by those selfish people.
It's ok to talk about your problems. I like to give, too. You've put smiles on my face, meaningful thoughts in my head and given me a good butt-kicking. It would make me feel good to do the same for you. I don't like to kick butt, but if there's ever a need for a swingset illustration, I'll be ready.
Lots of love,
Nikki
stick2013
01-31-2007, 07:16 PM
Dearest Nikki,
Some things I would rather picture..... without the illustration.... You are a little S*** tonight. But I am so glad that you are..... Glad that you are in a silly, sharing, caring, funny mood. I will take you in ANY mood, but this is much better.....:jester:
So what's up with the silly mood tonight? Are you just up for some interaction, or just having fun?
Hugs.
Sid
Some things I would rather picture..... without the illustration.... You are a little S*** tonight. But I am so glad that you are..... Glad that you are in a silly, sharing, caring, funny mood. I will take you in ANY mood, but this is much better.....:jester:
So what's up with the silly mood tonight? Are you just up for some interaction, or just having fun?
Hugs.
Sid
hergy
01-31-2007, 09:32 PM
You are a little S*** tonight. But I am so glad that you are..... Glad that you are in a silly, sharing, caring, funny mood. I will take you in ANY mood, but this is much better.....:jester:
So what's up with the silly mood tonight? Are you just up for some interaction, or just having fun?
My sense of humor's in gear all the time, but, on a PTSD board, I usually just get down to business.
However, I exploded so badly Sunday that I've sort of been floating in la-la land. Trauma goop and silly putty have been flowing together for a few days.
It means a lot to me that you're glad I'm in a light mood.
A s*** has never felt more special than I do now.
I love you!
Nikki
So what's up with the silly mood tonight? Are you just up for some interaction, or just having fun?
My sense of humor's in gear all the time, but, on a PTSD board, I usually just get down to business.
However, I exploded so badly Sunday that I've sort of been floating in la-la land. Trauma goop and silly putty have been flowing together for a few days.
It means a lot to me that you're glad I'm in a light mood.
A s*** has never felt more special than I do now.
I love you!
Nikki
stick2013
02-01-2007, 06:21 AM
Dearest Nikki,
The fact that all of us here live with the beast of PTSD on a daily basis, is reason for joy, when we can have a silly mood. We tend to get so involved with trying to find out the "WHY" of the PTSD, that sometimes we forget to just enjoy the moment. So smile sweetie, laugh, be happy!!!!!!!
Hugs,
Sid
The fact that all of us here live with the beast of PTSD on a daily basis, is reason for joy, when we can have a silly mood. We tend to get so involved with trying to find out the "WHY" of the PTSD, that sometimes we forget to just enjoy the moment. So smile sweetie, laugh, be happy!!!!!!!
Hugs,
Sid
Phoenix
02-02-2007, 05:53 AM
Dear Sid,
Amen to that.
Life is too short and precious to be serious all the time.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
Amen to that.
Life is too short and precious to be serious all the time.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
stick2013
02-02-2007, 06:57 AM
Dear FTM,
I wonder how the world would be if we were SILLY most of the time, and only serious, for part of it. How grand it would be to laugh, enjoy life, and be free of the BEAST of PTSD. Only having it show up for short periods of time.......
Hugs,
Sid
PS Is ICC MIA??????
I wonder how the world would be if we were SILLY most of the time, and only serious, for part of it. How grand it would be to laugh, enjoy life, and be free of the BEAST of PTSD. Only having it show up for short periods of time.......
Hugs,
Sid
PS Is ICC MIA??????
ICC
02-02-2007, 08:09 AM
NOPE!!!:D I ', right behind you this morning. had workers in the house all day yesterday, had to go have the therapist twist my neck and make me the exorcist and then had to babysit the granddaughter and my grandson. daughter had commitments and my grandson has the croup so nannie was caretaker all day and pooped when she got home. Sid ---it is the life I am hoping for . to be happier and live, love, laugh more than beat the "beast" and cry, cry cry. I have my good and bad moments still. somedays I just think alot and others are very lighthearted. Am aiming for more smiles and less tears. Going to take sometime. I have accepted that. I don't think of past abuses anymore but just get sad all of a sudden and really try to think about what I was thinking or doing when it came on. no luck so far. I can wake up one morning full of "piss and vinager" and the next wake up either angry or just sad. still trying to figure me out.
Love,
Grasshopper:dizzy:
Love,
Grasshopper:dizzy:
Phoenix
02-02-2007, 09:24 AM
Dear FTM,
I wonder how the world would be if we were SILLY most of the time, and only serious, for part of it. How grand it would be to laugh, enjoy life, and be free of the BEAST of PTSD. Only having it show up for short periods of time.......
Dear Sid,
I heard of this "concept" you speak of but was told that the times we live in prevent that from happening............
but what a thought nonetheless:D .
"Me likes the way you think.":)
Take care
God Bless
FTM
I wonder how the world would be if we were SILLY most of the time, and only serious, for part of it. How grand it would be to laugh, enjoy life, and be free of the BEAST of PTSD. Only having it show up for short periods of time.......
Dear Sid,
I heard of this "concept" you speak of but was told that the times we live in prevent that from happening............
but what a thought nonetheless:D .
"Me likes the way you think.":)
Take care
God Bless
FTM