ICC
01-31-2007, 07:40 AM
Good morning all--- the table is set and ready. feel free to bring whatever you want to it and it will be shared by all. Some have been at this table many times and others only a few. We have some that lurk right outside the door but never sit at the table. A few have left and not returned, a few needed a couple of days off and some i guess will always be late for dinner. It appears that though there has been some upheavel and lots of discomfort here lately that most are back and ready to sit at the table. There is plenty of room and all are welcome so please, please sit at the table whether you need something from it or have something to put on it.
Peace and Prayers to my friends ,
ICC:wave:
Peace and Prayers to my friends ,
ICC:wave:
Sponsor
isitme
01-31-2007, 09:28 AM
You may wish you hadn't posted this last thread:eek:
I'll bend any ones ear. maybe just have a good old moan.
ANXIETY!!!!!!!!
Here I am - still stuck. Life is actually great - bar this problem. No depression, no numbness, no guilt, no sadness, no suicidal thoughts
AND NO SISTER. Yes, I know I said I wouldn't mention her, but to be honest, I really thought she would have come up with an apology by now. I hear what you say sid, face the fear, but I/we are at stalemate, neither of us 'giving in'. I am hovering to the point of phoning/texting her, but all I can see is her 'being mightier than thou', then I immediately think forget it.
still stuck and frustrated..................
I'll bend any ones ear. maybe just have a good old moan.
ANXIETY!!!!!!!!
Here I am - still stuck. Life is actually great - bar this problem. No depression, no numbness, no guilt, no sadness, no suicidal thoughts
AND NO SISTER. Yes, I know I said I wouldn't mention her, but to be honest, I really thought she would have come up with an apology by now. I hear what you say sid, face the fear, but I/we are at stalemate, neither of us 'giving in'. I am hovering to the point of phoning/texting her, but all I can see is her 'being mightier than thou', then I immediately think forget it.
still stuck and frustrated..................
ICC
01-31-2007, 09:50 AM
Isitme---- that's where i was with my mother. a stalemate. I wasn't putting up with her crap anymore and she wanted nothing to do with me unless i did. I walked away. Did she win? ANXIETY!!!! is something i have suffered from for 30 years. when i have an attack i really try to walk my way through it. sometimes i can and sometimes i can't . depends on the circumstances. I do take something on occassion if it's too bad. It's ahrd to figure out what set it off. A few times I have been in a counseling session and my counselor asked if I had just become anxious. she saw it immediately and we went back to what we were talking about and what could have brought it on. I am not real good at doing this myslef but have been successful a couple of times.
Hugs,
ICC
Hugs,
ICC
Phoenix
01-31-2007, 10:33 AM
Dear ICY and isitme,
I will bring my body to the table, as I am sure the rest will follow:) .
Anxiety; hmmmmm...........
Sounds like a starting point to me.
Pardon me, I need to be excused at this time due to a prior engagement.
Please keep my plate warm until I return:) .
Take care
God Bless
FTM
I will bring my body to the table, as I am sure the rest will follow:) .
Anxiety; hmmmmm...........
Sounds like a starting point to me.
Pardon me, I need to be excused at this time due to a prior engagement.
Please keep my plate warm until I return:) .
Take care
God Bless
FTM
isitme
01-31-2007, 11:03 AM
If it were a plane that was the problem, I understand the steps, the process. (By the way, I am scared of flying, so have avoided them at all costs).
Now I have done the same thing with sis - avoidance.
I am happy to avoid planes, it doesn't stress me out or cause anxiety!
But sis does. :mad: I can't see a path at all. Maybe I have been too over sensitive? What so you reckon?
She said - I'm to blame for the way my son is. To me, that is like me saying - our parents are to blame for her infertility. In my eyes no one is to blame, it just is. I know anger and blame lurks for a long time before someone accepts (whatever it is they have to accept).
I'll carry on thinking......
Now I have done the same thing with sis - avoidance.
I am happy to avoid planes, it doesn't stress me out or cause anxiety!
But sis does. :mad: I can't see a path at all. Maybe I have been too over sensitive? What so you reckon?
She said - I'm to blame for the way my son is. To me, that is like me saying - our parents are to blame for her infertility. In my eyes no one is to blame, it just is. I know anger and blame lurks for a long time before someone accepts (whatever it is they have to accept).
I'll carry on thinking......
isitme
01-31-2007, 11:13 AM
icc - I've just read how I did it again with one of my many lists!
How can I put it so plain and simple for you, yet can't figure out my own dilema, soooooooo frustrating.
How can I put it so plain and simple for you, yet can't figure out my own dilema, soooooooo frustrating.
ICC
01-31-2007, 11:19 AM
I don't know sweetheart but you do. just a couple of words and i'm there. I live in a very organized analytical numbers mind so i think the short and sweet lists give me something to grab onto. thanks dear.
Love you,
ICC
Love you,
ICC
Zally
01-31-2007, 11:27 AM
Isitme, have you been anxious your whole life?
hergy
01-31-2007, 01:00 PM
How can I put it so plain and simple for you, yet can't figure out my own dilema, soooooooo frustrating.
Isitme,
One's own dilemma is more difficult to sort out than any other problem. Stepping outside yourself to look at yourself isn't easy.
You're angry. That's a daily pain that's relentless. Are you speaking with a therapist? When anger spins chaotically in your head, "where it stops, nobody knows."
A counselor has done a world of good for my anger problem. I internalize and direct anger at myself. Regardless of where the anger goes, it doesn't need to sit inside you.
When I'm overwhelmed and fuming, ICC has an awesome calming effect on me no matter what she says. Maybe it's because she lives in that "very organized analytical numbers mind." But I've also noticed that she takes things one at a time and addresses them 'til she's done all she can.
I tend to let things build up. Then I explode and don't know what the heck I'm trying to say.:mad:
Keep posting and make sure to let a therapist guide you through. Don't hold it all inside. It will only burn you.
Love and hugs,
Nikki
Isitme,
One's own dilemma is more difficult to sort out than any other problem. Stepping outside yourself to look at yourself isn't easy.
You're angry. That's a daily pain that's relentless. Are you speaking with a therapist? When anger spins chaotically in your head, "where it stops, nobody knows."
A counselor has done a world of good for my anger problem. I internalize and direct anger at myself. Regardless of where the anger goes, it doesn't need to sit inside you.
When I'm overwhelmed and fuming, ICC has an awesome calming effect on me no matter what she says. Maybe it's because she lives in that "very organized analytical numbers mind." But I've also noticed that she takes things one at a time and addresses them 'til she's done all she can.
I tend to let things build up. Then I explode and don't know what the heck I'm trying to say.:mad:
Keep posting and make sure to let a therapist guide you through. Don't hold it all inside. It will only burn you.
Love and hugs,
Nikki
isitme
01-31-2007, 02:20 PM
Isitme, have you been anxious your whole life?
No, just since Oct last year. And I know why. My sis has been fine with me over the years, UNTIL I accepted my son is a psychopath. My sis will not hear of it, says he has learning difficulties and I'm to blame. He can do things, but by nature of his problem, has allowed my sis to do things for him, evoking pity, hence I'm the baddy. Anyway, my daughter then got into difficulty. As I was maintaining N/C with my son at the time, I stayed out of the whole situation. Sis came to the rescue AGAIN, just as she did with my son. She never let on she knew anything, kept everything to herself. So, I did the same, but ended up in a state of anxiety. There is never any togetherness in making decisions. No advice or suggestions. Her way or no way. Sorry, It's become a long vent again.
Red - I'm not angry. Just frustrated. (I spent about 25 years being angry though. I was so glad to lose it). Just want to find a way to rid myself of the anxiety. :)
No, just since Oct last year. And I know why. My sis has been fine with me over the years, UNTIL I accepted my son is a psychopath. My sis will not hear of it, says he has learning difficulties and I'm to blame. He can do things, but by nature of his problem, has allowed my sis to do things for him, evoking pity, hence I'm the baddy. Anyway, my daughter then got into difficulty. As I was maintaining N/C with my son at the time, I stayed out of the whole situation. Sis came to the rescue AGAIN, just as she did with my son. She never let on she knew anything, kept everything to herself. So, I did the same, but ended up in a state of anxiety. There is never any togetherness in making decisions. No advice or suggestions. Her way or no way. Sorry, It's become a long vent again.
Red - I'm not angry. Just frustrated. (I spent about 25 years being angry though. I was so glad to lose it). Just want to find a way to rid myself of the anxiety. :)
ICC
01-31-2007, 03:28 PM
Nikki_____In alot of ways I read how you write/speak, your thought process and I was you when I was your age and even alot older. Would hold things in until i exploded. am actually very mild mannered and a true comedian but would take and take and take until you would think I had the temper of a truly dysfunctional, crazy person. so you see my dear we are alot more alike than either of us thought. I am glad I am calming for you. I have always had that manner with those in need. one step at a time. I do everything like that. I am relentless until all is exhausted and there is know more to be done. sannah will tell you , capricorns are like that. it's just my nature.
love you,
Grasshopper
love you,
Grasshopper
Zally
01-31-2007, 03:49 PM
There is never any togetherness in making decisions. No advice or suggestions. Her way or no way.
Isitme, isn't everyone involved an adult - your sister, your son and your daughter? Are there some boundary issues here, since adults should be making their own decisions? Boundary problems do cause anxiety because then you are worrying about things that you shouldn't be.
Isitme, isn't everyone involved an adult - your sister, your son and your daughter? Are there some boundary issues here, since adults should be making their own decisions? Boundary problems do cause anxiety because then you are worrying about things that you shouldn't be.
dustoffkid
01-31-2007, 04:10 PM
Isitme,
One's own dilemma is more difficult to sort out than any other problem. Stepping outside yourself to look at yourself isn't easy.
LOL, just tell dustoffkid that.
I am so much better at fixing others' problems than addressing my own.
By the way, things are sailing on a relatively even keel for me at the moment (at least compared to last week). I have slept almost all the way through most of the nights this week, and though my back hurts something awful I am in fairly good spirits.
Thanks for the invite.
Dustoff
One's own dilemma is more difficult to sort out than any other problem. Stepping outside yourself to look at yourself isn't easy.
LOL, just tell dustoffkid that.
I am so much better at fixing others' problems than addressing my own.
By the way, things are sailing on a relatively even keel for me at the moment (at least compared to last week). I have slept almost all the way through most of the nights this week, and though my back hurts something awful I am in fairly good spirits.
Thanks for the invite.
Dustoff
stick2013
01-31-2007, 04:26 PM
HEY DUSTOFF!!!!!
Hi girl, glad that you are feeling better.... I am so sorry about the crap that you are going through. I think of you often and pretty much think that you and hubby got a raw deal. (Along with hundreds others) I hate this war crap, and I pray that hubby comes home safe and sound to you....
Hugs hon.....
ICC........hhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm What's for dinner???????
Love you girlfriend, and thanks for the invite. I will bring desert....
HEALTHINESS FOR ALL!!!!!!!!!!!1
Hugs,
Sid
Hi girl, glad that you are feeling better.... I am so sorry about the crap that you are going through. I think of you often and pretty much think that you and hubby got a raw deal. (Along with hundreds others) I hate this war crap, and I pray that hubby comes home safe and sound to you....
Hugs hon.....
ICC........hhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm What's for dinner???????
Love you girlfriend, and thanks for the invite. I will bring desert....
HEALTHINESS FOR ALL!!!!!!!!!!!1
Hugs,
Sid
Phoenix
01-31-2007, 04:29 PM
Well "dust off" my shoes and call me Fred Astaire:jester:
It's good to hear from you.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
It's good to hear from you.
Take care
God Bless
FTM
ICC
01-31-2007, 04:56 PM
Dustoff----glad you are doing well. I beleive we all have the same nature of easily helping others and keeping our needs buried. we feel safer like that also. Am praying daily for you and hubby's re-uniting and hope the time passes quickly for both of you.
Sid----If you must bring dessert to a diabetics table please make sure it's not good for her:blob_fire a little treat never hurt anyone. though since the cookie incident I haven't touched anything I shouldn't eat.:dizzy:
Love you all,
Grasshopper
Sid----If you must bring dessert to a diabetics table please make sure it's not good for her:blob_fire a little treat never hurt anyone. though since the cookie incident I haven't touched anything I shouldn't eat.:dizzy:
Love you all,
Grasshopper
dustoffkid
02-01-2007, 08:31 AM
Thanks, y'all-
I'll bring pie. No sugar added.
We are about to get snowed under here and I will be home cleaning house this weekend. A friend that was coming in from Arizona when the guys were (supposed to be) coming back has decided to still come and visit me. So I will have a slumber party later this month. I just have to see if there is still a spare room in there where I've been throwing mailing boxes and stuff since hubby left. :D
I've been keeping a journal, by the way, and have a lovely correspondence going with the Chaplain who's over there with hubby. Not the same as formal counseling, but Army chaplains are trained in this kind of stuff and he really gets where I am coming from. It seems to be helping anyway, and he's a new friend (which is always welcome).
Thanks for the hugs and welcome.
Dustoff
I'll bring pie. No sugar added.
We are about to get snowed under here and I will be home cleaning house this weekend. A friend that was coming in from Arizona when the guys were (supposed to be) coming back has decided to still come and visit me. So I will have a slumber party later this month. I just have to see if there is still a spare room in there where I've been throwing mailing boxes and stuff since hubby left. :D
I've been keeping a journal, by the way, and have a lovely correspondence going with the Chaplain who's over there with hubby. Not the same as formal counseling, but Army chaplains are trained in this kind of stuff and he really gets where I am coming from. It seems to be helping anyway, and he's a new friend (which is always welcome).
Thanks for the hugs and welcome.
Dustoff
stick2013
02-01-2007, 06:13 PM
Dustoff,
How long has hubby been away???? Just wondering, and wondering how you cope with him in a war zone. I give you guys so much credit... I know that personally I could NOT do what you and hubby do... If I am being to nosey, just tell me to go away.
I am glad that the Chaplain is helping you. We all need someone that can at least know what we are going through. Glad to that you and your friend are having a slumber party.:) :) :)
When my girlfriend comes home and can get away from her hubby, we do that to.... Don't get much sleep the first night, bellies are sore from laughing, but it's so much fun....I hope you have a great time....
Hugs,
Sid:wave:
How long has hubby been away???? Just wondering, and wondering how you cope with him in a war zone. I give you guys so much credit... I know that personally I could NOT do what you and hubby do... If I am being to nosey, just tell me to go away.
I am glad that the Chaplain is helping you. We all need someone that can at least know what we are going through. Glad to that you and your friend are having a slumber party.:) :) :)
When my girlfriend comes home and can get away from her hubby, we do that to.... Don't get much sleep the first night, bellies are sore from laughing, but it's so much fun....I hope you have a great time....
Hugs,
Sid:wave:
dustoffkid
02-02-2007, 10:31 AM
Thanks, Sid,
It'll be a year on the 23rd. Ah, well... our life together has been full of soldiering. As a matter of fact, when we were dating and had planned a trip to Ireland for Valentine's day weekend (I think that's where he was planning to propose to me), I ended up not being able to go because my unit got orders for the first rotation into Iraq. We got married when I got back and he left for his first Afghan tour three weeks later! If I had actually stayed in we probably never would have seen each other at all, but I did get out and we still are apart more than we are together.
At least I can say I knew what I was getting into, having been a soldier. Other military spouses are woefully unprepared. It's also why I have the sunny "carpe diem" attitude that I do- I am not wasting time sitting aound sniping and moaning about the little stuff.
Now the BIG stuff, I whine to you guys, my mom and chaplain about. :p
Hugs right back atcha,
Dustoff
It'll be a year on the 23rd. Ah, well... our life together has been full of soldiering. As a matter of fact, when we were dating and had planned a trip to Ireland for Valentine's day weekend (I think that's where he was planning to propose to me), I ended up not being able to go because my unit got orders for the first rotation into Iraq. We got married when I got back and he left for his first Afghan tour three weeks later! If I had actually stayed in we probably never would have seen each other at all, but I did get out and we still are apart more than we are together.
At least I can say I knew what I was getting into, having been a soldier. Other military spouses are woefully unprepared. It's also why I have the sunny "carpe diem" attitude that I do- I am not wasting time sitting aound sniping and moaning about the little stuff.
Now the BIG stuff, I whine to you guys, my mom and chaplain about. :p
Hugs right back atcha,
Dustoff
stick2013
02-02-2007, 04:37 PM
Dustoff,
WHEN have you WHINED on this board.....You are one of the strongest, and most controlled people on here.... I admire you so much hon for your strength......
A whole year....Man that sucks....But we will keep you busy here, and the next 4 months will fly by.....I'm glad that you have your mom too, sometimes moms are really needed....I'm so happy that you need yours.....
Hugs,
Tell hubby I said KICK BUTT over there, and come home safe.....
Sid:wave: .
WHEN have you WHINED on this board.....You are one of the strongest, and most controlled people on here.... I admire you so much hon for your strength......
A whole year....Man that sucks....But we will keep you busy here, and the next 4 months will fly by.....I'm glad that you have your mom too, sometimes moms are really needed....I'm so happy that you need yours.....
Hugs,
Tell hubby I said KICK BUTT over there, and come home safe.....
Sid:wave: .