hi everyone.. i married my husband over a year ago. I new that he was bi-polar and that he had never been treated but he wasn't ready and i wasn't going to push him into treatment.. He had a minor brain trama from a car accident and then he became worse.. I've been through two doctor's because the first wasn't managing his bi-polar. It's been a long difficult road we are having a hard time finding medication that is going to help him. To top it off right now he's raging because of the abuse he suffered from his mother I had to give him 2mg of ativan to calm him down.. It breaks my heart to hear the man i love more then anything say that he feels like he's falling apart. I don't know what else to do to help him!! He's taking 100mg of seroquel a day and 400mg of lamicatil a day..

Welcome to the board :wave:

You have come to the right place to find caring people who can offer their experience and support. Often BP is triggered by a major event or stressor. It is unfortunate that some pdocs are not good at handling BP. One of my son's pdocs changed his med every month. He ended up with a shoebox full of neuropharmaceuticals and little help. I think he switched pdocs five or six times before he finally found one who really knew how to work with these drugs. It is a very frustrating "illness" in that regard. You have to keep searching until you find the right med or combination of meds that work for you (your husband) with the fewest side effects. And you shouldn't settled for less. Sometimes when people find a med that works reasonably well, they stop tinkering. But you have the right to feel close to 100%, so don't resign yourself to feeling "better."

You need to go back to the pdoc and tell him exactly wht's going on with your husband. He either needs a larger dose, different meds, or an addition of another med. Sometimes the patient needs a lower dose of several drugs that seem to do the same thing, because they all act slightly differently.

Another thing I would suggest to you is to look up NAMI on the internet. This is a national organization that advocates for the mentally ill. They have local chapters all over the country that provide support and education. They offer various programs that would be of help to you as you are just starting down this road. One is called Family to Family. It lasts 12 weeks and is run by peers who receive special training. It is like a boot camp for learning about the "illness," how to advocate for your loved one, all about the particular disorder and how to seek medical help, how to manage it, etc. If you look on NAMI's website you can read about their various programs. Also you will meet others like you who may be a little farther down the road on their journey and can help you navigate the bumps along the way.

I commend you for being a loving partner to your husband as he goes through a difficult time. Read all you can. Learn all you can about BP, various treatments and familiarize yourself with all the drugs that are available for treatment. There are some terrific books out there. One that might help you since you are recently married and seem very committed to helping is called "Loving someone with Bipolar" by Julie Fast. It gives practical advice, and tips on how to smooth out those bumps in the road that you are going to run across as you move ahead in your marriage. Also pick up another general book on BP that you can turn to when you have questions...or go to the library and find out what's available.

In order to advocate for your loved one, you need as much information as you can find. Please post here with your questions and comments. There are wonderful people on this board that are willing to share their experiences. I have learned so much by reading through others' posts. Good luck to you and your husband.

Regards,
Tsohl