newbluecat
02-03-2007, 04:17 AM
I posted this in the schizophrenia section but ferrill said that it might be OCD I looked into it and it does sorta look like OCD.
I'm sure this question comes up a lot here but I have to ask it. For the most part I've ignored things that seem out of whack or disprove them thinking "maybe I'm just tired" or "that didn't happen. But sometimes when I know that I am perfectly awake weird things happen. I'll miss see things like how people sometimes miss hear things ("do the your best possum", as opposed to "do your best possible").
Only slightly off nothing like pink elephants or whatever stuff like while at a stop light one day I looked in the rear view mirror and the grills to the cars behind me turned into faces that smiled at me and then turn back into grills. Or this one time my friend was sitting and his right knee was on top of his left. I stared since I couldn't figure out how he did that. After a moment I asked him how he did that and as soon as I did I realized that he just had his legs crossed. He laughed at me. I stopped the conversation by saying I was tired (even though I wasn't.)
When I was younger (15-16) I had these moments where I would see about 2 seconds worth of something horrible happening that I could do (or did in the thingy). Things like shutting the refrigerator on my mom while she had her head in it. Or hurting the animals we have in horrible ways that would kill them (which I don't feel comfortable describing). After I saw these things I would hate myself for thinking them (I never acted on them) since I would never want to hurt these people.
Other times I feel as if objects have needs. Like I'll pick one soda out of the fridge rather than another of the same kind because that one feels depressed. I've tried to stop doing that and for the most part have but every now and then it will happen again.
Other times I feel very paranoid. I will vary the way I walk like back pettling every now and then when walking in-front of windows to avoid having someone get a good lock on me. Recently I decided to make a political faction a few days later I noticed a semi truck parked across the street ( very odd for were I live). It was plain looking. The cargo area (sorry I don't know the name of that part) was painted yellow and had black arial print on it (I forget what it said but it wasn't a company I recognized) I asked my mom about it casually a few days later after disbanding the faction. She said that the neighbor had gotten a job as a trucker.
When I hear loud noises like if the kids start playing with fireworks I go to my room and get my sword that’s hanging over my bed until I know what’s going on.
Recently It's been hard to think like I'm just reacting to things that are happening.
I also have this weird recurring feeling of deja vu. But it's more than that I know when I did these things I'm worried that if I tell anyone that I'll be warped back in time to when I was younger forced to relive life forever. Knowing Infact I’m really freaking out about posting this at all. I'm getting a bad headache and I feel like I might cry. But if I post this part then I can disprove this logic and feel better. It's really hard to post this... Really really hard. I really don't wanna keep having to re-live life.
I've never been to war or been in a life or death fight, I've never had drugs or alcohol. So if I have anything it's all me.
I need to know am I schizophrenic or something else or what. I'm not faking so please don't ignore this. I'm not sure what I should do. I guess I should se e a doctor but I can't afford the $90 a hour nor can my parents.
Sorry for the essay...
I also posted this later as that I was so concerned about the deja vu that I forgot to mention the voices(If that’s the right name for it).
I forgot to mention the voices I sometimes hear. Hearing some of you talk it sounds like what I'm talking about is different. It's not random phrases, it's long conversations I can have with it/them (it can be anyone really) recently I've been talking to a psychologist figure and what I assume to be god. There's also one that brings me down. It's a tad more random and much harsher in tone of voice. Although I doubt this is any sort of hallucination... Not sure why I felt like I needed to wake up at 2 in the morning to post this... I just wanted everyone to know the whole story so that way I can get the most help.
I'm sure this question comes up a lot here but I have to ask it. For the most part I've ignored things that seem out of whack or disprove them thinking "maybe I'm just tired" or "that didn't happen. But sometimes when I know that I am perfectly awake weird things happen. I'll miss see things like how people sometimes miss hear things ("do the your best possum", as opposed to "do your best possible").
Only slightly off nothing like pink elephants or whatever stuff like while at a stop light one day I looked in the rear view mirror and the grills to the cars behind me turned into faces that smiled at me and then turn back into grills. Or this one time my friend was sitting and his right knee was on top of his left. I stared since I couldn't figure out how he did that. After a moment I asked him how he did that and as soon as I did I realized that he just had his legs crossed. He laughed at me. I stopped the conversation by saying I was tired (even though I wasn't.)
When I was younger (15-16) I had these moments where I would see about 2 seconds worth of something horrible happening that I could do (or did in the thingy). Things like shutting the refrigerator on my mom while she had her head in it. Or hurting the animals we have in horrible ways that would kill them (which I don't feel comfortable describing). After I saw these things I would hate myself for thinking them (I never acted on them) since I would never want to hurt these people.
Other times I feel as if objects have needs. Like I'll pick one soda out of the fridge rather than another of the same kind because that one feels depressed. I've tried to stop doing that and for the most part have but every now and then it will happen again.
Other times I feel very paranoid. I will vary the way I walk like back pettling every now and then when walking in-front of windows to avoid having someone get a good lock on me. Recently I decided to make a political faction a few days later I noticed a semi truck parked across the street ( very odd for were I live). It was plain looking. The cargo area (sorry I don't know the name of that part) was painted yellow and had black arial print on it (I forget what it said but it wasn't a company I recognized) I asked my mom about it casually a few days later after disbanding the faction. She said that the neighbor had gotten a job as a trucker.
When I hear loud noises like if the kids start playing with fireworks I go to my room and get my sword that’s hanging over my bed until I know what’s going on.
Recently It's been hard to think like I'm just reacting to things that are happening.
I also have this weird recurring feeling of deja vu. But it's more than that I know when I did these things I'm worried that if I tell anyone that I'll be warped back in time to when I was younger forced to relive life forever. Knowing Infact I’m really freaking out about posting this at all. I'm getting a bad headache and I feel like I might cry. But if I post this part then I can disprove this logic and feel better. It's really hard to post this... Really really hard. I really don't wanna keep having to re-live life.
I've never been to war or been in a life or death fight, I've never had drugs or alcohol. So if I have anything it's all me.
I need to know am I schizophrenic or something else or what. I'm not faking so please don't ignore this. I'm not sure what I should do. I guess I should se e a doctor but I can't afford the $90 a hour nor can my parents.
Sorry for the essay...
I also posted this later as that I was so concerned about the deja vu that I forgot to mention the voices(If that’s the right name for it).
I forgot to mention the voices I sometimes hear. Hearing some of you talk it sounds like what I'm talking about is different. It's not random phrases, it's long conversations I can have with it/them (it can be anyone really) recently I've been talking to a psychologist figure and what I assume to be god. There's also one that brings me down. It's a tad more random and much harsher in tone of voice. Although I doubt this is any sort of hallucination... Not sure why I felt like I needed to wake up at 2 in the morning to post this... I just wanted everyone to know the whole story so that way I can get the most help.
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ocdengineer
02-03-2007, 11:38 AM
The fact that you see and hear things that arent' there is definitely indicative of something more than OCD, however most of what you discussed is classic OCD type stuff like the Pepsi thing etc. Have you told these things to your therapist? If so, what did he say? Are you on any medication? If not, you may need to look into that. The paranoia leads me to believe that you could have a mild version of schizophrenia which is highly treatable, so I would seriously consider finding a specialist and get a consultation and tell he/she whatever you just told us. I am no doctor, so I can't tell you what you have, but I do think you need to see a doctor and spil your guts to him and find out for sure from he/she what the problem is.
I hope this helps,
OE
I hope this helps,
OE
newbluecat
02-03-2007, 01:45 PM
The fact that you see and hear things that arent' there is definitely indicative of something more than OCD, however most of what you discussed is classic OCD type stuff like the Pepsi thing etc. Have you told these things to your therapist? If so, what did he say? Are you on any medication? If not, you may need to look into that. The paranoia leads me to believe that you could have a mild version of schizophrenia which is highly treatable, so I would seriously consider finding a specialist and get a consultation and tell he/she whatever you just told us. I am no doctor, so I can't tell you what you have, but I do think you need to see a doctor and spil your guts to him and find out for sure from he/she what the problem is.
I hope this helps,
OE
It does thank you and no I don't have a therapist yet. Do the $10 councilors at the colleges have any skill in treatment? The reason I posted here, was to ask wether or not these things are normal (I've always thought they were normal until recently).
Well now here's the hard part getting the money and courage. I'd have to get a ride since I don't have a license meaning I would have to tell someone I know about these things... Or wait tell I have my license.
I hope this helps,
OE
It does thank you and no I don't have a therapist yet. Do the $10 councilors at the colleges have any skill in treatment? The reason I posted here, was to ask wether or not these things are normal (I've always thought they were normal until recently).
Well now here's the hard part getting the money and courage. I'd have to get a ride since I don't have a license meaning I would have to tell someone I know about these things... Or wait tell I have my license.
ocdengineer
02-04-2007, 12:10 PM
If I were you I would consider finding a specialist to help treat you. A lot of time can be wasted by going to the cheapest doctor when the good doctor may charge a similar rate if you have insurance. I would look for someone who specializes in Schizophrenia. When you said you thought it was normal that solidified it for me because OCD causes great anxiety in people becuase they know that what is going on in their head isn't right and it scares the living you know what out of them. You seemed to have adapted and have no anxiety about it which is indicative of mild schizophrenia which is highly treatable, so find yourself a good doctor who specializes in your dissorder and tell him/her everything you just told us. I think this will get you on the road to recovery.
Good luck,
OE
Good luck,
OE
newbluecat
02-04-2007, 12:47 PM
If I were you I would consider finding a specialist to help treat you. A lot of time can be wasted by going to the cheapest doctor when the good doctor may charge a similar rate if you have insurance. I would look for someone who specializes in Schizophrenia. When you said you thought it was normal that solidified it for me because OCD causes great anxiety in people becuase they know that what is going on in their head isn't right and it scares the living you know what out of them. You seemed to have adapted and have no anxiety about it which is indicative of mild schizophrenia which is highly treatable, so find yourself a good doctor who specializes in your dissorder and tell him/her everything you just told us. I think this will get you on the road to recovery.
Good luck,
OE
Good points and thank you.
Good luck,
OE
Good points and thank you.