teresa2007
02-05-2007, 04:16 PM
I am so angry right now and i dont know why. Im screaming at my kids, im eating like i havent eaten for a month. Im cutting myself again. I was doing so good for awhile except for depresssion. Now im acting like a crazy woman whats wrong with me..... i cant stand it!!!!! im sorry i have to talk to someone
I feel like i cant breathe. :mad: :dizzy: :confused: :blob_fire Im sorry soo
sorry
I feel like i cant breathe. :mad: :dizzy: :confused: :blob_fire Im sorry soo
sorry
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goody2shuz
02-05-2007, 04:50 PM
Hi Teresa:wave: What has happened in the last few days that may have triggered this.....have you been getting enough sleep, eating right (avoiding sugars and caffeine...well you already admit to eating more than you should;) ), taking your meds as perscribed, avoiding stressful situations as much as possible etc.??? Can you pinpoint when this all worstened....was it something somebody said or did, or a change in your meds?? Also....I notice with my daughter that when it is her time of the month things get worse and the pdoc just advised us that she can take a little extra Seroquel during that time to help her through to see if it helps.
Identifying your triggers is so important so that you can avoid them as much as possible or come up with a plan whether it be a coping skill or an increase in your meds when faced with that trigger.
Do you have a therapist that you can call and perhaps line up an appointment to see since you are having a difficult time??
In any case there are many people here to help you through. Hope that this helps out a little bit and that tomorrow is a better day for you. Meanwhile come here and vent and know that there is always somebody willing to help you through.
((((HUGS))))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Identifying your triggers is so important so that you can avoid them as much as possible or come up with a plan whether it be a coping skill or an increase in your meds when faced with that trigger.
Do you have a therapist that you can call and perhaps line up an appointment to see since you are having a difficult time??
In any case there are many people here to help you through. Hope that this helps out a little bit and that tomorrow is a better day for you. Meanwhile come here and vent and know that there is always somebody willing to help you through.
((((HUGS))))) ~ Goody:angel: :wave:
Llama
02-05-2007, 05:37 PM
teresa, I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. You should call your pdoc and see what he/she suggests. A med adjustment may be necessary! Just try to do relaxing things and be good to yourself - sleep enough and avoid stress (as goody has said!). We are here for you if you need to vent more!
teresa2007
02-05-2007, 10:16 PM
Hey goody and llama,
I can see where im messing up. I have a tremendous amount of stress in my life and thats alot of my problem. Ive forgotten i have had alot of flavored coffee lately to try and have that 5 mins of me time you know what i mean.I dont know whether im going thru one of my cycle it feels like it.
Im a wreck!!!!! Right now i dont have a pdoc im waiting to get our insurance book to see if i can get one in the network so in the mean time im just having my regular doc give me trileptal and lexapro and xanax when i get like i am now. so i really dont have anyone to talk too. So i really appreciate your help cause im really in bad shape im shaking as i type. I just want to scream for a long time. I hate when i get like this. I will cut the caffiene but i dont know if there much i can do about the stress. Thanks so much guys for letting me vent it helped some. I need a hug Tee
I can see where im messing up. I have a tremendous amount of stress in my life and thats alot of my problem. Ive forgotten i have had alot of flavored coffee lately to try and have that 5 mins of me time you know what i mean.I dont know whether im going thru one of my cycle it feels like it.
Im a wreck!!!!! Right now i dont have a pdoc im waiting to get our insurance book to see if i can get one in the network so in the mean time im just having my regular doc give me trileptal and lexapro and xanax when i get like i am now. so i really dont have anyone to talk too. So i really appreciate your help cause im really in bad shape im shaking as i type. I just want to scream for a long time. I hate when i get like this. I will cut the caffiene but i dont know if there much i can do about the stress. Thanks so much guys for letting me vent it helped some. I need a hug Tee
NicoletteAshley
02-05-2007, 11:53 PM
Hi Teresa:) I'am so sorry you are feeling like this, and if it's any consolation, I 'am going through the same thing. And I mean I'am BAD! I'am still eating like never before, and my moods are unstable. I cut myself pretty bad, and the cuts are still trying to heal. That was a week ago. I know stress and change in medication triggered it in myself. For the last few days, I've been yelling at anyone and everyone. I don't have anyone to talk to about my condition, and talking about it and or venting on these boards, for me is very theraputic, because the people are understanding, they don't judge me, and that makes me feel so much better, so heres a BIG hug for you Teresa!!! I hope you feel better soon, and hang in there because you are not alone.;)
Take Care!
~NicoletteAshley
Take Care!
~NicoletteAshley
teresa2007
02-06-2007, 11:57 AM
Thank you very much cause i really needed that! I just got into it with my father this morning because i snapped at my mother which is not like me.
They were trying to be super positive with me and try and help me because i was suppose to whatch my grandbaby today and i couldnt cause im not in good shape.
But my father thinks i should snap my fingers and get a grip he said bipolar or no bipolar i should get a grip. I mean can i I dont know how far bipolar goes, can i get a grip ? is it all me? I just cant do that just like that.
I want too,believe me ,i want too. But i cant just like that. Why? Is it the bipolar or is it just me? They keep saying everybody has bad days everybody gets depressed is that true? Maybe im not bipolar im just a jerk! I feels so helpless and alone. But thank for listening! Tee
They were trying to be super positive with me and try and help me because i was suppose to whatch my grandbaby today and i couldnt cause im not in good shape.
But my father thinks i should snap my fingers and get a grip he said bipolar or no bipolar i should get a grip. I mean can i I dont know how far bipolar goes, can i get a grip ? is it all me? I just cant do that just like that.
I want too,believe me ,i want too. But i cant just like that. Why? Is it the bipolar or is it just me? They keep saying everybody has bad days everybody gets depressed is that true? Maybe im not bipolar im just a jerk! I feels so helpless and alone. But thank for listening! Tee
NicoletteAshley
02-06-2007, 12:35 PM
Teresa, I can so relate to people always telling me to get hold of myself, and they don't understand that it is NOT that easy. How I look at it, is that I have Bipolar, but Bipolar does not have me. Yes, there are times when I go into the deep end, and at times it's hard for me to think that I will ever get out, but I always do. It takes work, but I do it. It's having a positive attitude, and that is extremely powerful to have with this disorder. Having a positive attitude, is one of life's challenges for me. I tend to be very pessimistic, and that is what gets me into trouble, along with other triggers. Bipolar is not who we are. We have hundreds of traits, and Bipolar is just one of them. Teresa, you are not a jerk, and you are not going crazy. It's just part of the highs and lows that Bipolar produces. When I have my episodes, I think I'am losing my mind and going crazy, but now I know that I'am not mad or losing it. As we both know, getting a grip is easier said then done, but having a positive attitude is important. I'am still working on it.
Take Care!
~NicoletteAshley
Take Care!
~NicoletteAshley
teresa2007
02-06-2007, 01:10 PM
Thank you sooo much i really needed to hear that,because you know i do think i allow bipolar to have me thats all ive ever known.
I have grown alot and for the most part i try to be positive but times like these it surely gets the best if me.I hate bipolar so much that i let it control me i see that now. You hang in there girl and we will try to be positive together.I really do appreciate talking here because it helps me look at things differently to someone who really knows what im going thru.
A big big hug sent your way Tee
I have grown alot and for the most part i try to be positive but times like these it surely gets the best if me.I hate bipolar so much that i let it control me i see that now. You hang in there girl and we will try to be positive together.I really do appreciate talking here because it helps me look at things differently to someone who really knows what im going thru.
A big big hug sent your way Tee
NicoletteAshley
02-06-2007, 01:20 PM
Thanks Teresa! I really needed that hug!:) Here's a big one sent right back to ya! And yes, let's try to be positve together!
~NicoletteAshley:)
~NicoletteAshley:)
teresa2007
02-07-2007, 02:46 AM
Hello its me again!
Its 1:30am in the morning,im sitting here all by myself i know nobodys probably up but i just had to talk to somebody. Im just really going thru a hard time right now. First im really hiper and angry now i feel really sad and alone.I never see my husband anymore because hes a workaholic which i cant blame him i wouldnt want to be around me either. I really feel nobody on this board want to deal with me either anymore because there sick of hearing me too. I dont blame you, i dont know whats wrong with me anymore.Im sick of me too. Tee
Its 1:30am in the morning,im sitting here all by myself i know nobodys probably up but i just had to talk to somebody. Im just really going thru a hard time right now. First im really hiper and angry now i feel really sad and alone.I never see my husband anymore because hes a workaholic which i cant blame him i wouldnt want to be around me either. I really feel nobody on this board want to deal with me either anymore because there sick of hearing me too. I dont blame you, i dont know whats wrong with me anymore.Im sick of me too. Tee
MSLAINIE
02-07-2007, 03:18 AM
Tee Tee...
Dont Go. I Need Someone To Talk To Too. My Son Is Bipolar And Will Be 16 This Month. No One Understands Him, They Blame Me The Mom.
Well I Did Alot Of Research And It Is Not Him Or Me Or You. It Is The Way God Made All Of Us. Or You Know What I Mean. My Son Is So Sweet And Smart. He Takes His Meds Every Day Rain Or Shine But I Had To Learn. If He Sleeps Not Good, It Effects Him, If He Is Down, It Effects Him. He Just Got Out Of A Partial Psy Hospital Program Per His Request And He Was So Excited To Get Back To School. Well This Morning Was A Night Mare, He Went Off And I Did Too. Because I Am The Mom (single Mom For 9 Years) And I Wanted To Show Him. But Later Today We My Son And I Talked And He Said Mom, I Dont Know Why I Was Like That This Morning And I Now Believe Him. It Just Happens Even If You Try Real Hard. As A Mom I Need To Learn It Is Minute By Minute. Sometimes I Think Its Me But It Is Not.
So Anyway I Thank You For Being Up And Giving Me A Chance To Talk To You. I Feel So Alone And Helpless. But I Know My Son Is Special Just Like You. And Me Too. So Anyway Thanks.
Mslainie
Dont Go. I Need Someone To Talk To Too. My Son Is Bipolar And Will Be 16 This Month. No One Understands Him, They Blame Me The Mom.
Well I Did Alot Of Research And It Is Not Him Or Me Or You. It Is The Way God Made All Of Us. Or You Know What I Mean. My Son Is So Sweet And Smart. He Takes His Meds Every Day Rain Or Shine But I Had To Learn. If He Sleeps Not Good, It Effects Him, If He Is Down, It Effects Him. He Just Got Out Of A Partial Psy Hospital Program Per His Request And He Was So Excited To Get Back To School. Well This Morning Was A Night Mare, He Went Off And I Did Too. Because I Am The Mom (single Mom For 9 Years) And I Wanted To Show Him. But Later Today We My Son And I Talked And He Said Mom, I Dont Know Why I Was Like That This Morning And I Now Believe Him. It Just Happens Even If You Try Real Hard. As A Mom I Need To Learn It Is Minute By Minute. Sometimes I Think Its Me But It Is Not.
So Anyway I Thank You For Being Up And Giving Me A Chance To Talk To You. I Feel So Alone And Helpless. But I Know My Son Is Special Just Like You. And Me Too. So Anyway Thanks.
Mslainie
teresa2007
02-07-2007, 09:46 AM
Thanks! I think my dad going off on me yesterday really upset me. Because i do try really hard to do everything right and things werent going too bad other than depression and then all of a sudden i turn into a nightmare and my dad blames me for it an i cant explain why i did it! It hurts so much! Im glad you and your son worked it out,I never really thought about it but i cant imagine what its like being on the other side of bipolar and trying to cope with it.
I just wish that more people would become educated about bipolar because it really hurts both sides. Well thank you for responding back,it means alot that you care. Hugs Tee
I just wish that more people would become educated about bipolar because it really hurts both sides. Well thank you for responding back,it means alot that you care. Hugs Tee
MSLAINIE
02-09-2007, 02:36 AM
Tee,
It Is So Hard To Get Real Education On Bipolar Or Other Conditions For Example. I Had Bad Gyn Problems And A Complete Hysterectomy And Everyone Is Different. And No One Is The Same. The Doc's Learn By Books But No One Knows How You Feel. I Have A New Respect For You Myson And Bipolar's. Since My Operation, I Get Depressed, Cant Sleep And I Feel Different. I Have To Take Hormones Now. But I Never Felt Like I Do Now. Ungrounded, Alone But My Son Says Now I Have A Clue How He Feels.
I Also Fight With My Parents, They Are Great But I Am 41 And Havnt Lived With Them 21years Some Things Never Change...
Take Care.
Mslainie
It Is So Hard To Get Real Education On Bipolar Or Other Conditions For Example. I Had Bad Gyn Problems And A Complete Hysterectomy And Everyone Is Different. And No One Is The Same. The Doc's Learn By Books But No One Knows How You Feel. I Have A New Respect For You Myson And Bipolar's. Since My Operation, I Get Depressed, Cant Sleep And I Feel Different. I Have To Take Hormones Now. But I Never Felt Like I Do Now. Ungrounded, Alone But My Son Says Now I Have A Clue How He Feels.
I Also Fight With My Parents, They Are Great But I Am 41 And Havnt Lived With Them 21years Some Things Never Change...
Take Care.
Mslainie
teresa2007
02-10-2007, 10:42 PM
I heard you girl! I also had gyn problems and i had a complete hystrectomy and bipolar, anxiety, ocd and a few others too.
Id have to say the hystrectomy is the worst because ive never been the same since i had one. When i had my last 2 children it really messed me up inside , my daughter bursted thru my uterus and my son finished me off so ihad to have a complete hysterectomy.
So that really messed with my bipolar as well. So i am really not the same in alot of ways. My emotions are all over the place! So im sure with you going thru your changes and your son being bipolar, im sure it isnt easy.
You hang in there tho because theres alot of people on here that live and deal with bipolar people on a daily basis.
Listen to there advice and encouragement it will help you alot.
Ill be thinking about you and hope you have a good evening with your son.
You know the best thing you can do for him is when hes going thru his hard times especially dont brush him off or make him feel like hes going thru what everyone else is going thru because hes not he is different.
He really needs you love and support and I know you sound like a mom that can do that! Im really glad I got to meet you on the board.
Thanks for all your encouragement, it means more than you will ever know! Hugs{: Tee Tee
Id have to say the hystrectomy is the worst because ive never been the same since i had one. When i had my last 2 children it really messed me up inside , my daughter bursted thru my uterus and my son finished me off so ihad to have a complete hysterectomy.
So that really messed with my bipolar as well. So i am really not the same in alot of ways. My emotions are all over the place! So im sure with you going thru your changes and your son being bipolar, im sure it isnt easy.
You hang in there tho because theres alot of people on here that live and deal with bipolar people on a daily basis.
Listen to there advice and encouragement it will help you alot.
Ill be thinking about you and hope you have a good evening with your son.
You know the best thing you can do for him is when hes going thru his hard times especially dont brush him off or make him feel like hes going thru what everyone else is going thru because hes not he is different.
He really needs you love and support and I know you sound like a mom that can do that! Im really glad I got to meet you on the board.
Thanks for all your encouragement, it means more than you will ever know! Hugs{: Tee Tee
MSLAINIE
02-11-2007, 04:31 AM
Hi Tee Tee,
No, Thank You. I Know This Is A Great Board. I Tried Others And They Are Different.... My Main Concern Is My Children. Mike Bipolar Now 16 In A Few Days And Tini 13.5 Adhd. She Is Now Trying Learned Behavior From Her Brother And My Ex With Bipolar....and I Thought Or She Left Hints She Was Cutting But She Is Not. But I Found Her Friend Is So I Am Encouraging Her To Refer For Help. I Dont Know She This Girl Is But I Am Working On Finding Out. I Cant Break Her Sign In Password Yet. But Anyway I Am Only 41.6 And The Hysterectomy Full No Ovaries Or Anything. Has Made Me Nuts On Top Of Whatever Comes My Way. I Am Now On Femtrace And It Works. The Only Reason I'm Telling To All Bipolars Or Not Is. When I Read The Side Effects On It Or My Sons Meds, I Would Never Take It However Thats Where Faith Comes In And If Meds Dont Work Or We Feel Weird We Call The Doc Asap. My Boyfriend Made Me Realize Docs Whatever Kind Work And Are Paid By Us.
But Anyway Have A Good Day.
Mslainie
No, Thank You. I Know This Is A Great Board. I Tried Others And They Are Different.... My Main Concern Is My Children. Mike Bipolar Now 16 In A Few Days And Tini 13.5 Adhd. She Is Now Trying Learned Behavior From Her Brother And My Ex With Bipolar....and I Thought Or She Left Hints She Was Cutting But She Is Not. But I Found Her Friend Is So I Am Encouraging Her To Refer For Help. I Dont Know She This Girl Is But I Am Working On Finding Out. I Cant Break Her Sign In Password Yet. But Anyway I Am Only 41.6 And The Hysterectomy Full No Ovaries Or Anything. Has Made Me Nuts On Top Of Whatever Comes My Way. I Am Now On Femtrace And It Works. The Only Reason I'm Telling To All Bipolars Or Not Is. When I Read The Side Effects On It Or My Sons Meds, I Would Never Take It However Thats Where Faith Comes In And If Meds Dont Work Or We Feel Weird We Call The Doc Asap. My Boyfriend Made Me Realize Docs Whatever Kind Work And Are Paid By Us.
But Anyway Have A Good Day.
Mslainie