sumi
02-05-2007, 05:03 PM
I am sure this issue has been discussed before but for some reason I couldn't find anything on it.
I have a 17 month old DD, she is great in every aspect. She eats her veggies, loves fruit, she is lovely in every way EXCEPT sleeping.
She still sleeps in our room, cannot soothe herself to fall asleep, wakes up during the night, I end up putting her in bed most of the time just so I can get some sleep.
My pediatrician is on me every time we go, to get her to sleep on her own. I know, I agree but how? I don't agree with letting her cry herself to sleep. I am very against that. I am a stay at home mother living in a country with no family at all so it's just me and her all day, everyday.
I really want her to be able to sleep on her own and sleep during the night. She usually takes one nap in the afternoon for about two hours but I have to force her.
I know its partly my fault but we have had to move a lot in the last year and I want her to feel safe. But we have been living in upstate NY for the last 6 months in the same house so I think she feels safe and can make the move.
Please any advice is welcome.
I have a 17 month old DD, she is great in every aspect. She eats her veggies, loves fruit, she is lovely in every way EXCEPT sleeping.
She still sleeps in our room, cannot soothe herself to fall asleep, wakes up during the night, I end up putting her in bed most of the time just so I can get some sleep.
My pediatrician is on me every time we go, to get her to sleep on her own. I know, I agree but how? I don't agree with letting her cry herself to sleep. I am very against that. I am a stay at home mother living in a country with no family at all so it's just me and her all day, everyday.
I really want her to be able to sleep on her own and sleep during the night. She usually takes one nap in the afternoon for about two hours but I have to force her.
I know its partly my fault but we have had to move a lot in the last year and I want her to feel safe. But we have been living in upstate NY for the last 6 months in the same house so I think she feels safe and can make the move.
Please any advice is welcome.
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Orion510
02-06-2007, 04:12 AM
Is there a reason for being against her crying herself to sleep? Crying never hurt anyone.
It's kind of hard to give any other advice beside letting her cry herself to sleep, which of course is the most effective. all i can say is just place her in the bed, rub her back until she relaxes, then leave. She will cry, but only let it coninue for 10-15 min. Go back up try and sooth her again, but don't take her from the crib. Rub her back and sooth her again. when she stops crying leave. Repeat the steps until she goes to sleep.
I have to say that letting her cry is really the best way. It only takes a few night, two maybe. She won't cry herself to sleep every night, just the first few. It's not as bad as it seems, certainly less stressful for her than having you come back in. She is old enough to understand a little. Explain that she needs to sleep in her bed, because everyone sleeps in thier own bed. It's hard but I think its the best way. She is waking up because she knows she get to go in your bed, instead of going back to sleep she cries. Kids are smart they know how to get what they want:)
I work as a nanny and have been for years. I give advice to parents that ask all the time. What I usually tell them about this is, while they are infants it seems ok, even cute for them to sleep in the parents bed. As they get older it will not be as cute and then it will be harder to get them to stay in thier own beds. I sit for a mother at this time who wants her children to sleep in thier own beds but won't do what needs to be done, so she has a two and a three year old crawling into her bed a night.
The othe advice I have is to put her in the crib while she is sleepy, but not asleep. This will help her understand that she needs to fall asleep on her own. If you don't want to leave her crying, then stay in the room and pat/rub her back while she's in the crib until she falls asleep. Dont put her to sleep in your bed, this way she knows the routine for sleeping. If she wakes up go in and rub her back until she is asleep. not as effective but may at least get her in her own bed, which is important.
It's never too early to begin a bedtime routine. Read a book, change diaper, place in crib. It help give a sense of security as babies like to know what is comming.
I hoped this help at least a bit. Good Luck!
It's kind of hard to give any other advice beside letting her cry herself to sleep, which of course is the most effective. all i can say is just place her in the bed, rub her back until she relaxes, then leave. She will cry, but only let it coninue for 10-15 min. Go back up try and sooth her again, but don't take her from the crib. Rub her back and sooth her again. when she stops crying leave. Repeat the steps until she goes to sleep.
I have to say that letting her cry is really the best way. It only takes a few night, two maybe. She won't cry herself to sleep every night, just the first few. It's not as bad as it seems, certainly less stressful for her than having you come back in. She is old enough to understand a little. Explain that she needs to sleep in her bed, because everyone sleeps in thier own bed. It's hard but I think its the best way. She is waking up because she knows she get to go in your bed, instead of going back to sleep she cries. Kids are smart they know how to get what they want:)
I work as a nanny and have been for years. I give advice to parents that ask all the time. What I usually tell them about this is, while they are infants it seems ok, even cute for them to sleep in the parents bed. As they get older it will not be as cute and then it will be harder to get them to stay in thier own beds. I sit for a mother at this time who wants her children to sleep in thier own beds but won't do what needs to be done, so she has a two and a three year old crawling into her bed a night.
The othe advice I have is to put her in the crib while she is sleepy, but not asleep. This will help her understand that she needs to fall asleep on her own. If you don't want to leave her crying, then stay in the room and pat/rub her back while she's in the crib until she falls asleep. Dont put her to sleep in your bed, this way she knows the routine for sleeping. If she wakes up go in and rub her back until she is asleep. not as effective but may at least get her in her own bed, which is important.
It's never too early to begin a bedtime routine. Read a book, change diaper, place in crib. It help give a sense of security as babies like to know what is comming.
I hoped this help at least a bit. Good Luck!
dizzygirl
02-06-2007, 09:23 AM
Hi there! I was in the EXACT same situation as you and ds was the exact same age. Crying it out ( I know it's not even an option for you, kudos!) is literally disgusting to me. I have doen EXTENSIVE research on the subject. My best friend is a developmental psychologist, (for little ones) and you would be so sick if you could even know some of the devastating effects on a child who is left to cry it out. That being said, we co slept up until 17 months. Ds was just not sleeping, and not settling himself back to sleep. I was nursing until about 14 months, and I had to wean. I'm not sure if you're nursing, but if you are night nursing, I would suggest weaning at night. What eventually worked for us(because I was literally losing my mind) was to put him in his own room , in a crib. Since then, he has slept through the night, ( I couldn't believe it either) I turned out that he needed his own space by that age. He also naps wonderfully now too. Here's what we did.......establish a firm bedtime routine. We do a bath around 7, (snack before that) then PJ's books, about 10! and then his prayers, then bed. The first few days, we would just play in the crib ( I got in there too, I'm pretty small:) ) so that he wouldn't be scared of it. After he was comfy enough being in it, I would put toys in it, and leave him in there for about 15 minutes, ot till he got upset. This went on for about a week. Then at night, we did all the usual bedtiem stuff, and put him in his crib. He whined for a little bit, but not crying. After the first night, he slept in his crib. I was really keen on making sure he was vey tired, but not overtired. No matter what time he got tired, it when we would start the bedtime routine. He now is 21 motnhs old, sleeps through the night (thank goodness, I'm 3 months pregnant!) and is s good napper too. He just needed his own space! I hope this helps a little!! Good luck!:angel:
mamatbg
02-07-2007, 10:26 PM
I am having this problem with my 11 month old. He used to sleep during the night but every since we moved into our new house, he now wakes up crying 3 to 4 times a night and won't go back until he has had a bottle. I tried putting him to sleep on a full belly but he just woke up a few hours later full of energy and ready to play. Does anyone have any advice as to what could work. I do a routine to get him to sleep at bedtime but what about when he wakes up? How do I get him to sleep through the whole night again!
mamatbg
mamatbg
dizzygirl
02-08-2007, 09:08 AM
Mama- if he's waking to play, he's probbaly learnign a new skill, is he starting to walk ot stand up? It will pass soon.:angel:
sumi
02-08-2007, 10:36 AM
After reading your posts I was all motivated and decided to try a combination of things since every child is different. I put her crib in her bedroom for one, changed her bathtime to later in the evening and got her to play in her room most of the day. I spoke to her about it the entire day and got her all excited about sleeping in her bedroom on her own. Last night was the first night. We took a bath, read some books and turned off the light for her to sleep. She refused to go to sleep, I stayed with her and calmed her down but after two hours she still would not even lie down. I picked her up and she immediately fell asleep in my arms, she was so tired from all the crying. I put her in her crib and she slept for about 4 hours, woke up once, I put her to sleep and woke up this morning wanting some milk! I am so proud of her. I mean I have to take baby steps, I will make sure she learns to soothe herself like she does during the day. When she wants to take a nap she takes her blanky and finds a spot and sleeps, simple as that. But at night not so simple. She had no issues with sleeping in her own bedroom in her crib, none at all. Tonight I will try again and again until we get her to sleep on her own. Thanks for the advice I am so happy today after getting a good night sleep!
Mamatbg - I have to agree with Dizzygirl, everytime mine was going through a growing spurt when she was younger she would do that. They outgrow it.
Mamatbg - I have to agree with Dizzygirl, everytime mine was going through a growing spurt when she was younger she would do that. They outgrow it.
dizzygirl
02-08-2007, 02:00 PM
Wow! Oh my goodness that was great! What a good girl!!!! Keep at it, she'll be fine!
sumi
02-12-2007, 11:17 AM
Ok, now we have a new issue. DS goes down around 8:30-9:00pm, she wakes up at 12:00, then 2:00, then 4:00. Basically every two hours and screams, she looks wide awake. I can't let her cry cause her dad needs his sleep, I end up having to pick her up and soothe her till she sleeps , its killing me! I tried not picking her up but she gets hysterical. Gosh, I have created a monster! Please advise.